• Fabian, you already have your answer, but I wanted to provide some advise to you and hopefully get you to understand a few things. It sounds like you truly care for her and that she knows that. At the end of your question, you said that you don't want to push her and don't wish to be an asshole about this. I believe you, but if you expect her to just move on like nothing has happened, and if you are ever emotional about that, then you will be being an asshole about it. Abuse, regardless of if it's physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional, is a shitload of heaviness to carry. That's something SHE is going through and has to battle. It takes time to get past that. Please don't expect her to just sit down with you and lay it all out for you. Asking her to do so would be so that YOU understand it and are comfortable with it. Heck, she might not even understand it herself. Let her tell you how she wants to. If that means she tells you bits and pieces at a time, then so be it. You have to be patient with her and allow her to deal with it on her own terms. As much as you want to be there for her and go through this with her, it's really not your battle. Just be there for her. Let her know you are there WHENEVER she wants to talk. Don't prompt her into that type of conversation. It could be more of a trigger than it is a casual conversation. She has to arrive at her own conclusion for this. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, and she starts to live a normal life again, she will say that you were there for her when she was at a low point in her life. Don't feel snubbed that she doesn't confide in you at the moment. That will all come in due time. Let her have this moment, but be there whenever she needs you. Just remember that it's not up to you to determine how quickly she moves on or how much she tells you. Placing those expectations on her are a sure way to push her away and ruin the relationship you already have. Nothing is going to happen overnight. So if you're not willing to put the time in, no matter how long it is, go ahead and bow out of the relationship now so that she isn't hurt all over again.
  • Fabian, since the posts aren't dated this may be a distant memory. But sometimes I answer just for anyone who reads it. The grief over the loss of a relationship is relative to the depth of a person's love for the other person, commitment to the relationship, expectations from the relationship, etc. To a certain extent, people "create" each other. She was not only mourning the closing of an important chapter in her life, she was mourning the "her" that she was to him. The way to help someone to re-engage is to not focus on the things that caused the pain.

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