ANSWERS: 31
  • If he is 13 and still wetting the bed, you might want to try like helping him stop that instead of just temporarily fixing the problem by having him wear a diaper. That has got to be really embarrassing, and I mean... if he doesn't grow out of the problem in a few more years, no teenager is going to want to wear a diaper to bed. There have got to be some things you can do to help him stop the problem (ie having him not drink anything a few hours before bed, or waking him up every couple hours and making him go to the bathroom). I think that would pay off more in the long run than a diaper that is only convenient in the here and now.
  • First off, take him to a doctor. Secondly, you might want to have that other protective talk with him.
  • If he is 13, I assume he has not completed going through puberty yet. A lot of teen bedwetters will stop after puberty. I peed my bed virtually every night until I was about his age, so did my older brother. It has to do with the production of a hormone called ADH. Most kids who wet the bed don't make enough of it, but puberty seems to fix that. My brother actually stopped by the time he hit about 16, I never did completely. Still have a few wet beds each month. As for the diapers, I totally understand his concern. It is bad enough he feels humiliated wetting his bed, but the diapers would be even worse. My parents used to require that my brother and I wore diapers to bed when we were traveling or visiting relatives but at home we had the option. The trade off, of course, is that WE were responsible for washing our beds. Our beds were protected with a rubber sheet and my mother would change them once a week with the other beds. If we wet them, either we changed the sheets or just let them dry out again. After a while we realized that the diapers were not that big of a deal (I mean its not like we were paraded around the neighborhood in them) and were relatively discreet if put on just before bed.
  • Do you know why he still wets the bed? Have you taken him to a doctor? ?????
  • He needs to see a doctor. There is either a physical or mental issue at this time in his life. There is a condition where the body doesn't produce the urine "thickening" chemical/hormone that is normal in most people at night. That's how we are able to go all night without wetting the bed. He may have to take medication. Get him help
  • I once wet the bed at a friends house by accident when I was a teenager. Although I would only admit this anonymously, because of the embarrassment it caused at the time, I enjoyed the attention I got from my friends mother who seemed sympathetic and looked after me. Because I was around the age of puberty, I later fantasised about doing it again to get the attention from her, but managed to restrain myself. At the time, the thought of being diapered and pampered like a baby would have aroused me but I was worried she would have told my parents if I did it again. Try asking him why he wets his bed, but I wouldn't punish him
  • I'm in a smiliar position to Barry. My 15 year old son has recently started wetting his bed at night. I've talked to him about it, and he says he doesn't know why he's doing it. He's very embarassed about it, of course. I've got a doctor's appointment for him next week, but in the mean time I think he needs to wear a nappy to bed. Otherwise I'm going to washing sheets and drying his mattress every day. The thing is - how should I broach this with him? He's embarrassed enough about wetting his bed, and I don't want to make things harder for him.
  • Bed wetting is such a tough subject, especially for older children I think. I think you're doing exactly the right thing taking your son to the doctors. As for nappies - are you sure he really needs them? Is he wetting every night? If he's only wetting occasionally and you can wait until you get your doctor's advice that might be better for both of you.
  • When my grandson had this problem, this helped .....no liquid after supper, other than a sip of milk at bedtime. My daughter got him up just before she went to bed and took him (half asleep!) to the bathroom to pee. That worked. She had only a nightlight on so as not to fully wake him. Took about 2 mins..and he went straight back to sleep. Did this for about 6 months.... He is a very deep sleeper and was not awakened by the sensation of a full bladder. He's 16 now...and no problem.
  • Because he thinks it will make him appear to be a baby and at that age, his self esteem is just getting important to him.
  • Hes still a kid...I KNOW the laundry issue! what about 'good nights' they are for older kids, and calling it a diaper might not be the best thing to do.
  • Have you taken him to a doctor regarding this! It could be a medical condition. : O )
  • Instead of making your son feel even worse and believe me, if this is an issue for you it is an even bigger one for him, why don't you invest the time and energy into helping him find out why he is still bedwetting and help him to overcome it? All bedwetting has a reason, it is not just because your son is lazy. It is either a medical or psychological source. Why not do the research and get to the reason and in the meantime do the practical things like limiting fuid intake after 7pm and wake him up to go to the toilet before you go to bed? Try one of the bed alarms, heck try anything but do not make him feel like a burden!
  • I agree. Nappies should be the last resort, and you must seek medical advice. In my own case I took my son to the doctor and she diagnosed some things that we're working on. He understands that he needs to wear a nappy to bed while we work on those things, but the doctor's advice made that a lot easier.
  • Go to a doctor and find out what can be done. Sometimes this is passed down through the generations. If my youngest drinks a lot of soda before bed, or doesn't use the bathroom just before bed- there's a chance he will have an accident. It's never on purpose and it's not all the time, but I figured he will grow out of it like his older brother did around the same age.(if he continues another year-then we will seek medical help) As for your complaint about the laundry- I would not use the word "unacceptable". Going the extra mile to help your children is what parenthood is all about. Show him how to do the laundry and it will be his responsibility. Don't make out like he is a burden- it's not his fault. He is not doing this on purpose. In this case, it is the parent's reaction that is judged more harshly then the child with a possible medical condition.
  • I agree. My son still needs nappies, but it's not his fault. He doesn't like wearing them, but he knows he has to.
  • The poor boy reacted so badly because he felt humiliated. He can't help wetting but I think you need to get him off to the doctor to rule out any physical or psychological causes for his wetting. If he's only just started, it could be in reaction to bullying or sexual abuse at school. Bedwetting and toileting accidents are common in children who are full of anxiety or who are being traumatised in some way. Please don't add to this by making him feel a burden. If it bothers you so much to wash sheets, teach your boy how to use a washing machine. A pad over the bottom sheet might help reduce washing somewhat.
  • The doctor said my son's problem was stress related. She said that although bedwetting is quite rare in older children, when it happens it's often due to stress of some sort. The doctor recommended some books on how to deal with stress, which seem to have worked. We keep what's remaining of a pack of disposables in his chest of drawers, but he hasn't needed one for a long time now.
  • Have him see a doctor, and in the meantime, put a plastic protector over the mattress. I understand he is embarassed, but it's not like everybody will know he is wearing a diaper. He's just with family, he ought to be comfortable enough to do that. And let him take care of his own laundry. Thirteen is definitely old enough.
  • this sounds like a medical 'problem' to me...see a doctor. It may be involve a simple solution.
  • I've read some really good answers here. There is one more thing that needs to be mentioned. Two of my nephews were diagnosed with small bladders that needed to be stretched by drinking more fluid not less. The boys washed & changed their own bed linen every day. No nappies were worn. Protective mats for the beds were used. No mention was made in the home or anywhere else of the problem. The more relaxed they are the better long term outcome. Time was the curative factor. Maturity was just a little delayed in that department. The boys are quite happy now with no further problems. This is a physical condition that cannot be blamed on the child/teen. Guaranteed they would help it if they could.
  • Bring him to an Enuretic clinic and the doc will find out the cause of it. Please do not make a 13yr wear a diaper. That will make it much much worse. You are causing him a lot of stress and he will be that anxious about wetting the bed that it will actually make him wet it more. I spent time with a doc and patient about this and that was one of the issues that was discussed. It's the worst thing you can do
  • I wet the bed until I was 13. How did I stop, after a good long personal talk with my doctor about my dads death, when I was 7. He psychoanalysed me. Didn't suggest anything or any medication, as I'd already had all the different ones that were available. My mum was really angry with the doctor for asking me such personal questions, but for me, it was like having a huge burden taken off my shoulders. I've never wet the bed since. Instead of making him feel worse than he already is, get him down to the doctors. They really will be able to help him. In the mean time, put a rubber sheet on his bed. Show him how to use the washing machine so he can wash his own sheets. Although throwing a couple of sheets a day isn't going too much more than usual. I know your angry but it isn't his fault and he isn't doing it on purpose. Try talking with him. Has he experienced anything traumtic? Just don't heap condemnation on him. He needs help and he needs his mum to understand.
  • Bed wetting runs in our family. I wet the bed till I was 11, my dad till he was 11, my sister till she was 13, and my son till he was 12. Sometimes kids at that age still wet the bed, if it wasnt they wouldnt of come out with good nights and bigger pull up type diapers for at night. There are some boxer style Good Nights. If you dont know what those are, they are in the diaper section near the pull ups. Its the baby diaper section, not the adult diapers. If you introduce them to your son, dont tell him they are diapers and dont treat him like a baby. Just simply tell them they are so, you can wake up with out a mess. Tell him no one will even know he wet the bed. Tell him it will give him more freedom for having friends over and for him to go to friends house. My older son used to use them and my younger son still does. They dont look exactly like real boxers if you are up close and really looking at them, but they dont look like a diaper. If someone was to see him for a few seconds in them, they wouldnt know he had on a diaper type thing. They would just see him in boxers. And if he had PJs over the top they would just see blue boxer type things. My husband just couldnt understand how someone of a little bit older age could wet the bed. He couldnt understand how someone wouldnt wake up either. Many people think this way. If you are concerned though take him to the doctor. If there is nothing wrong. He will probably out grow it. But I know, because I was once there. I didnt wake up when I had to go pee or when I was peeing. I just slept right through it. Back when I was a kid though they didnt have the fancy diapers for kids with bed wetting issues. There are some things that you can try though. Setting an alarm in the middle of the night for her to get up and go to the bathroom. There is also a thing that you can buy that has an alarm sencer on it. If it gets wet the alarm will go off and that will wake her up.
  • I've fosterd over 100 children, and it is my observation that about 5% of them wet the bed at age 13. There are many different reasons for this, but having talked to many parents, it seems we adults are still blaming the victim. Uninary tract infection is a possibility, and now-a-days with viruses becoming more resistant, it is a good idea to have this option checked out first. Emotional causes (which foster children have in abundance) cause some bedwetting, but usually (and I've paid many doctors for this same answer) it is a small capacity bladder. Some doctors say "stock up on sheets, and wait it out" others recommend treatment. The best treatment I have found is "bladder excercises" This is a process where a child (during the day) stands in front of the toilet (when he has to go) and holds the urine in (without his hands) as long as possible, and then when the stream starts, he stops it occasionally. this really works, and quite quickly in some cases. There are other possibilities contact me at hhs3(at)37 (dot)com if you want them. I also have my children do their own laundry (after age 9 no matter if they wet or not.) It helps instill responsibility, and relieves parents for more important parenting tasks. It only takes one laundry to teach them how to safely operate the machines, and relieves you of the burden of endless washing. All my beds have water resistant mattress pads ($9.99 for a single bed at Walmarts)it helps with warm summer sweating too! My choice is not to "make" children wear protective garmets, but to offer them the option (They're in the bathroom closet if you need them) when they are washing their own sheets they are not as resistant to the use of work-saving remedies. Good luck, and remember this will pass away before you make 50 car payments... unless you are a foster parent!
  • No drinks after 7 because a full bladder wont help. No terrifying him with threats of abject humiliation in a nappy, not even any HINT that he's abnormal or bad, because stress and fear can make it worse, too. Get a waterproof mattress protector, teach him how to load the machine with his bottom sheet so he has some privacy with this; make sure nothing else is worrying him, see the doctor to check for infection, and get off his case.
  • Talk to your son calmly -imagine how you would talk to a close friend if they had the same problem. Discuss his options and ask him to help determine solutions that will work for both of you. Get waterproof matress pads, so just the pad needs washed not all the bedding. There are even washable mens waterproof underwear, get two pair of these. try the webstore at www.braveryandgrace.com Bedwetting alarms have the best success rate for curing bedwetting. They take committment from both you and your son, sometimes for two or three months.Let him decide if he is ready to commit to using an alarm by doing some research. Again, try the site www.braveryandgrace.com for more info on how the alarms work. My son wet everynight until he was eight, we used a bedwetting alarm and he has been dry everynight for years now. It was definitely worth the time and effort.
  • Our 11 year old has infrequent accidents. The doctor has him off dairy as it can make him sleep too heavily. They've run an ultra sound of his bladder and are doing additional bloodwork. I think it goes without saying he needs to visit a urologist.
  • MY 14 YEAR OLD STILL WETS THE BED AND WE USE GOODNITES UNDER PANTS WORKS WELL
  • I would tell him to wear the diaper or there would be a punishment. Make him wear feety pajamas with the diapers. It protects them better soo they are all padded up
  • Tell him the truth - that you don't want to launder every day. He needs to be responsible. But best to get him to stop by having him significantly cut back on his intake of fruits and liquids.

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