ANSWERS: 100
  • Me fail English? That's unpossible!
  • D'oh!! (Bad video quality)
  • Homer: "Let me give you a tour of our house, this is one of our many light switches, it does two things, on, off, on, off,... humm i'm not sure what this switch does..." (i think thats how the quote goes, you get the general idea.)
  • At the end of the episode where Bart is on happy pills and goes nuts- Marge- No more of those fancy pills, from now on it's good old fashioned Ritolin. Bart- Aye carumbah!
  • "Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true." Homer Simpson
  • Bart: No offense, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting. ZAZZY'S FAVORITE QUOTE FOLLOWS (Drumrolllllllll): Homer: But I'm using my whole ass.
  • Bart- Did you know that most people use only 10% of their brain? I am now one of them!
  • From a Halloween episdoe - Lisa: Wait a minute, Xena can't fly. Lucy Lawless: I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.
  • Homer, acting as if he is Mr. Burns with a high pitched voice: Hello, I'm Mr. Burns. Guy: Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name? Homer, still with high voice: I... don't know.
  • Homer: I'm not normally a religious person, but if your up there save me superman!
  • Bart: Lisa finish this sentance for me. Bart: I got a father that lookes like a guerilla. Reverend: We play Bingo, Homer: Bingo! I love that game but I can't remember what to say when you win. Reverend: Bingo? Homer: Bingo! thats my favorite game but i can't remember what to say when you win. Reverend: Why don't you just say Yay I win. Homer: Bingo!
  • George Bush sr had a rainbow afro wig stuck to his head , and he gave a speech with bits of it chopped off. George: Any questions? (Everyone puts hand up) I already told you about my hair. (Most put their hands down) :D
  • I got some more. Homer: My ears are burning. Lisa: I wasn't talking about you, Dad. Homer: No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside, so I lit a Q-tip. Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand? Homer: Yes. *lie detector blows up* Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
  • This was from the episode where they found that skeleton, and everyone thought it was an angel but Lisa disagreed: Moe: Well if you're so sure about what it AIN'T, how about telling us what it AM?
  • Homer singing: "I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"
  • Homer to God: Please God, bring my family to heaven, they can't be on Earth, it's horrible down there! God: I know what you mean, i sent ym son down there a long time ago...he's never been the same since -See Jesus on a swing, kicking his legs slightly, looking down at the dirt, not moving much, not talking- or "I wish God was alive to see this" i know both are of god, but a lot fo the other good ones are all ready taken! D'OH!
  • Homer (when green blob monster eating ppl): Ughhh....Need more fat people....good thing Im in America.....
  • Bart: I didn't think it was possible, but this both sucks AND blows!
  • Homer, escaping PBS by becoming a missionary: Help me Jebuz !!
  • bart: i diddn do it
  • Wiggum: How come you're not at school. Ralph: My teacher said she's tired of trying. --------------------------- Ralph Wiggum (after walking into the 'Adults Only' section in the comic store): Everybody's hugging! --------------------------- Ralph Wiggum: "Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!" ---------------------------- Yes yes... Ralph is one of my favorites...
  • don't have a cow man!
  • when Sideshow Bob was going for parole" no one who speaks german can be an evil man'
  • (Tongue-in-cheek ) Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice. and Ned Flanders: I wish we lived in a place more like the America of yesteryear that only exists in the brains of us Republicans.
  • Wiggam: "Sure we'll help ya. Just sit down and wait for Detective Like I Give A Damn! Homer: Yeah Mo, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Marge: Homer! Watch your mouth! Homer: I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening. Marge: Homer! Have you been drining? Homer: No. Well...ten beers. Homer: My boloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R. My boloney has a second name it's H-O-M-E-R. Homer: (Blowing sadly into Lisa's saxaphone) Saxamaphone...Saxamaphone.. Homer: I have misplaced my pants.
  • I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove a thing (I'm pretty sure Bart said it)
  • "Lisa! Get away from that jazz man!" - Marge Simpson "But you said lying makes Baby Jesus cry!" - either Rod or Tod Flanders "The doctor says I wouldn't get so many nose bleeds if I just kept my finger out of there." - Ralph Wiggum
  • Homer: D'oh!
  • Homer [speaking to Native Americans]-You guys are guests in our country and...[can't remember the rest, but the portion i gave was enough]
  • Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand? Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
  • DOn't know whether it's in the show but in a spin off game, when you are in a car with Comic Book Guy and hit a big ramp. I'M FLYYYYINGGG! Temporarily.
  • In the game, "The Simpson's Road Rage" Apu sings, "We going to have a sale for $19.99". (related to the song, "We gonna party like its 1999")
  • Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
  • Bart: Your dammed if you do your dammed if you dont!
  • "hello come again" "our beefjercky is almost 100 percent rectum free" and Homer after being shot in the ass with a falling bb gun "not the good cheak"
  • Indian 1 <looks at the can of beer and a tear forms in his eye> Indian 2 "you think thats bad, dont turn around" <fade out, Indian 1 screams>
  • (Bart and lisa are fighting on the ground) Ralph: Why can't you be friends like me and Mr pinkie? (raises his hand to pick his nose but gets his eye) OWW! thats it you've betrayed me for the last time. (Takes out scissors)
  • Marge- "I'm not Afraid!" Grandpa-"Then you're not paying close enough attention!"
  • Marge- "Grandpa, I'm not Afraid!" Grandpa-"Then you're not paying close enough attention!"
  • *DOH!* (Homer Simpson) :)
  • &#039;DOH'
  • Chief Wiggum: (picks up the phone) No, you have the wrong number. This is 9-1......2. Homer: No TV and no beer make Homer...something something. Marge: Go...crazy? Homer: Don't mind if I do! (Homer goes on Shining-like insanity rampage) Homer: You suck-diddly-uck, Flanders! Flanders: Hey Homey, I can see your doodle! Flanders: Hidelihodeli! Homer: Get lost, Flanders! Flanders: Okely-dokely!
  • Ralph: Principal skinner i got carsick in your office. Ralph: Me fail english thats umposible? Ralph: My cats breath smells like cats food Ralph: Miss Hoover my worm jumped in my mouth and then i ate it can i have a new one? Ralph: Miss Hoover i glued my head to my shoulder!
  • &#039;Doh!
  • Homer - "Lisa, remember always give in to peer pressure." Lisa - "But what if..." Homer - "Always give in!" Ralph - "Why does everyone run from me" then he pees his pants.
  • DOH!!!
  • Homer - "no TV and no Beer make Homer something something" Marge - "go crazy?" Homer - "don't mind if I do" begins crazy noises running around etc :)
  • The episode Marge breaks her leg. Homer: "Stupid Sexy Flanders" The "I didn't do it" episode. Bart : "Woozle Wozzle" Guy in crowd: "Woozle wozzle, what's woozle wozzle"
  • The most obvious one... Homer: D'oh!
  • Marge: Look at this place. The house number is spelled out with letters. Homer: Get used to it, honey. From now on we'll be spelling everything with letters.
  • My two favorites are "Life doesnt suck...life is easy YOU suck" (it was the rich guy when homer went to night school) and "Good job Ralphie now you know what you gotta do, Burn em all!!! "
  • Hmmmm... Bad eggs!
  • I'm answer number 53, I can't believe this one isn't on here yet! In the episode where Homer starts inventing stuff, he invents a la-z-boy that has a toilet built in, and as he's standing in the living room near it arguing with Marge about it, Bart sees it and shouts as he runs past, "Outta my way, gotta poop!" The delivery is hysterical, so upbeat and excited to take a dump in front of the tv lol! I won't lie, I use the line from time to time myself... :D
  • Bart 'it wasn't me man'
  • &quot;I bent my wookee" - Ralph Wiggum.... so comical and charming... You just have to love it
  • There are so many its so hard to choose... The Cartridge Family - Guy in shop: Sorry, theres a three day waiting period for your gun. Homer: Three days!! I'm mad now! Grr I'd kill you if I had my gun... Guy: Yeah well you don't. Marge: Homer, I told you this morning no guns at the dinner table! Homer: You said the breakfast table! Marge: ITS THE SAME TABLE!! Treehouse of Horrors- Kent Brockman:(The news top story in a serious voice)And the fluffy kitten played with the string, all through the night. (happy voice) On a lighter note local bartender Moe Syslak was brutally murdered last night...
  • Ralph Wiggum: Ugh this tastes like grandma! (after eating tomacco)
  • From "Lisa's Sax" Homer: So, what do you like, Lisa? Vio-ma-lin? Tuba-ma-ba? Obo-mo-boe? (Lisa points to a saxophone) Homer: Ooh, saxo-ma-phone! From "Treehouse of Horror VIII" Frink: Good morning, ma'am. Good afternoon, sir. It passed noon while I was speaking, so that was technically accurate. Homer: (whispering to Marge) He's crazy. From "Homer's Enemy" Frank Grimes: Accidents have doubled every year since he became safety inspector, and meltdowns have tripled! Has he been fired? No. Has he been disciplined? No, no! Lenny: Everyone makes mistakes. That's why they put erasers on pencils. God, Lenny is so wise and he doesn't even know it.
  • -Abe Simpson: "I'm afraid of the future!!!"(from the video game) -Homer Simpson: "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel" -Homer: "Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos" -Bart Simpson: "Aye Carrumba!" -Bart Simpson: "Eat My Shorts!!!" -Homer Simpson: "Mmm, Beer. Mmm, 64 slices of american cheese. Mmm, chicken. Mmm, waffle runoff. Mmm, something".
  • &quot;Eat my shorts!" Bart
  • Ralph: I'm Ralph!
  • Bart-eat my shorts!
  • Dr. Nick :Hiya ev-ree-body.... (everyone else with low enthusiasm)Hi Dr. Nick... ---------------------------------- (Classic) Homer: D'oh!! ---------------------------------- Bart: Eat my Shorts!!! ---------------------------------- Bart: Hi, could i speak to Mr. Freely, first initials I.P..... Moe: I. P. Freely, is there an I.P. Freely in the building? Bart: Ha ha ha (hangs up) -------------------------- All great ones....
  • Ned Flanders - In the ski suit "Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all, nothing at all. Homer Simpson skiing as he slowly does a split" OW!, This is the worst pain ever!" After which he gets wailed in the crotch several times
  • [Moe comes as the fan man at the boxing match and lifts Homer to safety] Homer - Are you an angel? Moe - Yes Homer, I'm an angel...
  • Snake: "Allright, time for a crime spree"!
  • &quot;Eat my shorts!"-Bart Simpson
  • Ned Flanders: Oekely Doekely Do!
  • In reference to Hamlet, Homer: "It was not only a great play, but it also became a great movie. Called Ghostbusters!" In attempting to burp Maggie, *tries to give her a beer*Homer: Come on Maggie! It's Miller time!
  • &quot;This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect driving a car......of some sort, Heading in the direction of..You know...that place that sells chili. Suspect is Hatless. Repeat: Hatless" Chief Wiggum
  • homer: Oh , and how is EDUCATION supposed to make me feel smarter. Besides, everytime I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course and i forgot how to drive? Marge: Thats because you were drunk! Homer: Aaand How! Or Automated Operator: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. to obtain a dialing wand please mash the keypad with your palm.
  • Ralph Wiggum: Purple Tastes like burning
  • Homer - All my life I've been an obese man trapped inside a fat mans body!
  • When Lenny and Carl are apart of The Stonecutters and are trying to keep it from Homer. Lenny always starts to say somthing to Homer and Carl cuts him off and says Shhuutt uuupp. Well one scene, Lenny starts to say something to Homer about it and Homer in return tells him Shhuutt uupp!
  • in the music shop homer naming instruments OBAMAMOE SAXOMOPHONE cracks me up every time
  • Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday. Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
  • Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
  • Homer:why do i need to learn english pff when am i ever going to go to england?
  • Homer: Why do I have to learn English, I'm never going to England?
  • Eat my shorts!!!!! :)
  • Mick Jagger: Come on homer, it's only rock and roll camp Homer: But I like it Milhouse: remember the time you killed my fish, then hid my fish, and told me I never had a fish? Then why did I have the bowl bart? why did I have the bowl. Milhouse: Its Lisa, and she looks like Blossom Bart: I am familiar with the works of Pablo Naruda (this one was physical) Bart makes a joke into his voice recorder turns it off, pauses, then turns it back on to keep on laughing Fat Tony: The kiss of death, Just what I needed Jimbo Jones: My shirt is chaffing can I take it off? barts girlfriend: yes Jimbo Jones: Oh no, now my pants are chaffing Jimbo Jones Jr to lunch lady bart in the future Your Creamed Corn tastes like creamed crap! Bart over mr microphone to rod and tod: Do you want a happy god or a vengefull god Rod & todd: HAPPY GOD! Rod and Todd: Yeah! Imigination Christmas!! Barney: awe we could have stayed at the bar and shot rats Moe: Hey those arent your rats barney. I think thats more than one
  • homer the burns: oh what, are you going to sick the dogs on me, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees
  • Bart-"I didn't do it."
  • Ralph : My cats breath smells like Cat food I know it's silly but i use it alot when some one says something stupid.
  • Abraham Simpson: "there sure are alot of ugly people in your neiborhood....uuh, look at that one"
  • From the episode "HOM'R" Homer: I have a great way to solve our money woes. You rent your womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree, signify by getting indignant. Marge: Are you crazy? I'm not going to be a surrogate mother. Homer: C'mon, Marge, we're a team. It's uter-US, not uter-YOU. Marge: Forget it!
  • Nelson: HA HA.
  • &quot;alcohol...the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems"----Homer
  • Mine Is Ralph Wiggum "me fail english? that impossible!"
  • God bless those Pagans - Homer (of course!)
  • Homer: " I'M A RAGE-A-HOLIC!! I'M ADDICTED TO RAGE-A-HOL!!!"
  • Homer mmmm chocolate (opens the ice cream tub) d'oh! (puts the first tub back and picks out a second one) mmmm chocolate (opens the second ice cream tub) d'oh! (yells to marge) Marge we need some more chocolate vanilla and strawberry ice cream Marge: I'll get some at the store tomorrow Homer Homer: mmm chocolate i can't remember which episode it's from it's from season 3 and it's either Bart the lover or radio bart
  • Doctor Nick: WHAT'S THAT?
  • Just about ANYTHING that comes out of Sideshow Bob. "That was a big mistake, Bart. No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it." - Sideshow Bob and "Your guilty consciences may force you to vote Democratic, but deep in your hearts you long for a cold, Republican leader who'll cut taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!" - Sideshow Bob Both quotes from episode 108 Sideshow Bob Roberts.
  • Mine would have to be the last line of the following... Skinner: All right, first academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph. Ralph: I won, I won! [walks on stage] Skinner: No no, Ralph, this means you're failing English. Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!
  • Homer: "I feel like god would, if he were holding a gun!"
  • Homer: God is teasing me. Just like he teased Moses in the desert. Marge: *Tested,* Homer. God *tested* Moses. Love this quote. =D http://www.dvdavenue.tv/movie/cartoon/The_Simpsons.html
  • Why does a guy like you wanna marry a guy like Selma? (Homer to Trent McClour)

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