ANSWERS: 36
  • Being a different colour or being religious is no barrier to having a relationship. Only the mind behind the mask can be the barometer of a person's views. The easiest way to let her know your feelings is simply to tell her. I know it sounds too simple, but there you go. Tell her how you feel, and ask if she feels the same way at all. Don't pressure her - give her time to think about it. If she is interested she will tell you. If she's not interested then you need to move on and look elsewhere.
  • just because shes a christian doesnt mean that she wouldnt be interested just because of you color. Even tho i would like to say that kind of thing isnt still going on it is. The way i think u should tell her is just walk up to her and tell her! or write her a note or an email or something. and do u think she likes u? hey come on she may be feeling that same as u! just take a chancee.. .... take the risk and take the fall if its what u want than its worth it all.. hope u 2 get together!!
  • You should treat her exactly the same as you would a black girl. There *should* be no interracial barrier: if there is one, it is in your minds (and possibly in hers). And if you have a barrier in your minds, you are doomed to fail until you dismantle it.
  • There is no such thing as an interracial barrier. That is the first thing that you should drill into your mind. Love is colorblind and doesn't see the color of your skin, hair, eyes; it sees the soul inside of the person. You should go to her and speak to her about your interested. Her answer might be horrible, or might be great, but atleast you know that you've tried and that you did all you could. Don't let the color of your skin get in the way. Let me give you a great example of this. I am white and Wiccan, right? And the guy that loves me and that I am in love with is black and Christian. Not only are we of different races, but we are of different religions. If this girl is interested, then you should both recognize that beliefs are personal and not meant to be imposed on each other. This should be a mutual understanding between the two of you before you move on with a relationship.
  • I'm sorry, but you want to make her yours? I don't think that it's a racial barrier you really need to worry about. Maybe if you thought of her as a human being, without any sort of "ownership", you might be able to get yourself past both race and religion. I'm not trying to mince words here, but what you said goes beyond the vernacular. There is an awful lot of people who think that being in a relationship is something akin to possession of that person. This is ultimately how jealousy arises when they start see the other person as a separate individual, one with interests, dreams and desires that do not necessarily involve them. Maybe, it might be better to look at it like this when thinking about sharing your feelings with her. This way, you approach her with the respect that every person deserves and this will inevitably show. You might be surprised at the results. However you choose to proceed, best wishes!
  • Race does not matter to a true Christian. The only difference is is that you belong to two different families. Get saved and then it'll be right for you to date. If she is following God then she will only date a man who is a Christian too.
  • im a white guy, and my fiancee is black, but from wen we met race was never an issue between us, i think the key is to show her it doesnt bother u, and show her, if she has feelings, that it shouldnt bother her either. i would find a situation where ethnic background and religion clash, and face it head on with her, like a family gathering/cookout/church.
  • Her being Christian must not be a barrier, and your being black and she not being black must not be a barrier either. It *could* just be a barrier. You must only consider that there could be differences in your mode of thinking because of different educations. As you can see through you feedback, many people are shoked if you are using an expression such as "I would love to make her mine". She could eventually be your wife, but it doesn't mean that she would be your property. Some people have been reflecting about this because of the feminist critic of men/ women relationships, and a modern woman would probably be also very conscious about these issues.
  • It made me feel sad the way you said "the only thing is that i'm black" - as if somehow you feel or think people will believe that it makes you of lesser value than this white christian girl you mention. If that is the case here - i'd like to make you aware that your value and worthiness as a person do not arise from skin colour, christianity or a label someone placed upon you. It comes about as a direct result of who you are, what you believe in and how you live your life. I can think of no reason as to why you would not or could not simply walk up to this girl or in fact any girl and speak to her like any one else would and see how things go from there. It is pretty much the usual process and way of things when meeting new people, though i would strongly advise you take it easy with the "make her mine" statements... Most people are together as a result of their choice to be not - because someone "made them mine".
  • As a product of a mixed household (that grew up Christian.....and then left it all alone - but that's another story) I can say that her religious outlook should make no difference in the situation. I understand why you may be hesitant to say something depending on the area you're in, because even today people can and will discriminate against interracial relationships ("Why he got to be with a WHITE girl anyway!??!"). What you need to remember is that it's ignorance and blindness that leads to that type of mentality. If she likes you as a PERSON, not as a black guy, then it shouldn't make a difference. There should be no racial barrier unless you create one.
  • Talking helps. Start with that. Handle your possessive tendency, racism, and fear of Christ as separate issues, because they are your real problems.
  • I don't see the racial thing as being much of a barrier to me. I think just getting to know her on a friendly basis would be the first step. How do you know you even want to 'make her yours' if you don't really know much about her, other than her color and religion? DO you know how important her religion is to her? It might be the biggest barrier or none at all. It would matter to me immensely because all my values and principles are based on my religion. But many others don't feel that way. DO you know how she feels about those of other races and cultures? Why not find out first from being a friend, build a foundation of friendship first before thoughts of possesion and feelings get in the way.
  • I'm going to chime in here with some information that I couldn't share when this question was first posed. Firstly, I agree that you need to deal with your own perceptions of race and religion. I also think you need to examine your thinking that puts a relationship with her into ownership/possessive terms. She's a person, not a table. Secondly, I have no idea why you are comparing your skin color "black" to her religion "Christian" in the same sentence. I hope it is just poor sentence structure. Anyway, I am in a relationship that is "interracial" by sociology terms. (By biological terms, there is no such thing as race more granular than the human race.) We are also from different countries, different continents, and different religions. He's Indian (East Indian) and I'm a mostly Caucasian American. I'm Wiccan, and he is Hindu. Let me say that religion and "race" have never been an issue. The differences in nationality/culture have sometimes been interesting, but nothing overwhelming. The thing is, I have always thought of him as [his name] - a great guy, great sense of humor, intelligent, respectful, attractive, etc. [his name here] also happened to be a Hindu Indian. His "race", nationality, and religion don't define him in my eyes. They are simply characteristics he has that I need to understand, respect, and love right along with the rest of him.
  • Brotha, its a different world now. Go for it!
  • Hahaha! Just speak up, Man! What does christianity have to do with color? Being black isn't the opposite of being christian and if a christian has a problem with someone being of a different color then you want nothing to do with them anyway. Just spit it out and let the chips fall where they may.
  • Being black don't make you the devil. If you tell her, and she has a problem with it, she doesn't deserve you.
  • You being black and her being Christian means nothing in affairs of the heart. Ask her out, as you would ANY girl. If she's interested, she'll most likely say Yes. If not, well... Try again, later, unless she has a BF.
  • What the hell does religion have to do with any of this ? I dont remember there being a " Thou shall not date black guys " commandment. Listen, you are the one with the "barrier" on the brain . I mean she may not care what color you are . Until you KNOW otherwise, I wouldnt ASSUME she does because you are killing it right there with that mentallity
  • Go for it. It shouldn't make a difference.
  • To be honest, I'd start by not referring to her as a 'white girl', just treat it normal
  • I think it's best to befriend her first and find your way from there. Being black doesn't make you any less worthy as a person. She might or might not want to take things further but at least you need to give it a chance. Where I grew up, there were lots of interracial marriages and most were between black men and white women and I haven't heard of many breaking up.
  • Love is colour blind. We live in a age where in most places It's not an issue. Just tell her.
  • Well, you see, the way you should go about this is, FUCK INTERRACIAL BARRIERS. Are you really gonna let that stand in the way of something that could make you a very happy person? And as for the religion, if everyone is equal in 'gods' eyes, then why aren't you just as equal as the white race? Honestly, shove 2 fingers up at both those issues. It will make you a much happier person. We are ALL human, black, white, pink or bloody blue. Just go all out for it.
  • stop being a pussy. Just try. You will know very quickly if she is not interested.
  • I fail to see the issue.
  • what does you been black and her being a christian have anything to do with you guys being in a relationship? Well it shouldnt be a problem my bestfriends cousin is Nigerian and he got married with a super white girl and she is christian lol the color of your skin should not keep you from being with the one you want
  • I know quite a few black people who are Christian so I fail to see the issue...
  • i was confused by your question at first. it shouldn't matter if she's a christian that she wouldn't be able to date you because of your color, as long as you be true to her and respect her values then you shouldn't have a problem. ^_^
  • Her being a Christian and you not being one is a bigger problem than her being white. Two people with hugely differant sets of values and morals will quarrel in a relationship.
  • Tell her parents you want to make the white girl yours, then see where it leads.
  • ??? I know a LOT of black Christians. What's the real problem?
  • "make mine"(?) Let's discuss that section your scenario... :)
  • I'm a white girl, so you don't have to take my advice if you don't want. My older sister is black if that helps, and I'm french, we're a multicultural family, & yes all my sibblings are linked by blood (no one else believes me because my older sister is black, my younger sisters have olive toned skin, my brother has red skin and I'm whiter than the late great Michael Jackson, all the same parents, just we're part Native American and French from France). Being that I'm from a multicultural family & I'm dating a guy from Africa so I might be biased, but here's my bit: IF SHE HAS A PROBLEM SHE IS NOT A TRUE CHRISTIAN & SHE IS NOT WORTH THE EFFORT OR TIME. Understand? It should not matter what your skin colour is, if you cut a person from every race they all bleed red. If she don't understand then she is not worth your time, ditch the bitch. Sorry, I am not prone to swearing but I figured it was the best way to tell it. Understand?
  • sometimes people dont like people of certain races, not because of their skin color or race, but the qualities of the race. I personally couldn't date a black girl because of the hair. I can not stand greasy hair(huge pet peeve) and is a big turn off to me, which means i wouldn't date black girls. But for you, go for it, she may be open to it, its not like she has to fear being beat to death for talking a black man in 2009(unless her parents are dumbasses)
  • You know white Christian girls don't date black men. What would Jesus think?
  • The way you phrased this question, Horror, makes it sound as though all Christian women only date black men. Not the case. Unless she's from some freako corrupt, old-school, black hate Christian society in which case I would not go near her. I pity those sad brainwashed people. And I am disgusted that the world still battles racism. If her parents are like that and she isn't, let your love be shown, and they can have a tanty if they don't like it.

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