ANSWERS: 52
  • well....you could bring it up in a conversation like talking about yourself and if you went on a date and then ask them if they have a girlfriend/boyfriend and if there like no then ask if they like anyone ya know? which eventually if they want to tell you they will but you can't force someone to tell you something that they don't want to tell you....but good luck!
  • "Pardon me my dear sir, are you a homosexual?" Tip-toeing around the question (treating it like a social embarassment) might actually offend someone who was actually gay (I suppose).
  • There probably isn't a polite way, unless it's your business to ask people questions that invade their privacy, for example a doctor. In that case, I'd suggest make no assumptions, simply ask this: How do you define your sexual orientation? Even if they say they're gay or straight, you should still double check by asking how many male and female sexual partners they've had. The only other polite way is to dance around the question as possum1254 suggests. Or, just don't care about it, why do you care about it anyway? Say you are a man, and you're intersted in a woman, but you think she might be gay... You shouldn't treat her any differently -- ask her out on a date. There's no rule that says if you're straight you can't ask somebody that's gay out for a date.
  • Ask directly. People who are gay and out know it and are very happy to tell you. People who are not gay are equally happy to reassure (as they see it) you that they are not. People who are gay and not out, or gay-ish. Well, take their word for it, and treat them as they ask. You can't do better by guessing, and you can do worse.
  • It may be an issue in some countries and cultures, but if it's in Canada, if you're curious, you just up and ask at the appropraite time. There's no shame, no embarassment. I asked that of a highschool chum that I'd suspected back in school recently. Flat out over a beer at the pub. He took no offense and I didn't feel bad asking as it was in the context of the conversation at the time. If anything, he felt relieved, he told me and we were able to relax and have a really good convo.
  • i really have no problem with asking someone straight up are they gay. but... if i wanted to be polite i would say. excuse me mrs/mr do not take this offensively but i just wanted to know if you were gay. because i am doing a reaserch project.
  • You do not have to ask. just stand back and observe their physical actions and voice. the clues will be there.
  • Why do you want to know? It probably itsn't any of your business. Unless you are interested in the person and then I would just ask him/her out.
  • Unless you are of the same sex and interested in finding out if they want to date you, knowing is really none of your business. If that person feels like telling you are they are gay, that is there option. I feel asking personal questions without any need to know is truly rude.
  • You could ask, "Generally, which sex do you find more physically attractive, male or female?"
  • If you are at a social event I suppose you could ask them what their dates name is. If you are wondering because you are homosexual and you are not sure if the person you are interested in is also homosexual or not you could just strike up a conversation and see how things go. I'm not sure about just asking them. Someone who is gay probably wouldn't be offended by the question. But I know some straight people who would be! I wouldn't care (I am straight). I would probably just laugh and tell them not recently. If nothing else just ask them which sex (meaning male or female) they prefer.
  • The funny thing about this question is that I just cannot think of a situation where it would be appropriate to ask someone this question. Unless of course, I was close on a personal level with someone, but the thing is that I do have several friends who are gay and I have never had to ask...
  • I agree with those who say it is none of our business to ask. If I want to know about a person's life out of genuine interest, I will start with open ended questions and move on from there as they give "permission" through body language, verbal responses, and reciporcated questions. Other than that, since it will not determine the level of respect I give to this person as a human being, I would probably not ask. If you really must know, have him or her tell you about his/her family.
  • Just say a few simple words " Are you attracted to the same sex?" If they say yes just say " I except that!" Love you all, AnswerWoman532
  • The right time will help. If of course you feel it is really your business to know, maybe start with a conversation about something that they are or might possibly interested in. That might eliminate some of the akwardness of it all.
  • Do you like to nudge fudge sir?
  • "So sir, are you a heterosexual?" If he answers no, than the fact he's gay is confirmed. A better way would to directly ask him and avoid any other confrontation
  • That's a really odd question if you think about it. Have you ever walked up to a straight person and asked them when they had sex last and with whom?....If you want to know cuz you are interested, maybe open with the fact that you are and let them take it from there. You'll know at least if they are and don't say so....then they probably aren't interested. But if you want to know just to be nosey. Well, in that case, I wouldn't ask at all. There really isn't a polite way to ask that question.
  • I think the politest way is to just ask. Being indirect seems kind of rude and might even come off as judgemental. As far as it being your business or not, I think knowing a person's sexual preference is just one thing you should know fairly soon when getting to know them. *shrug* I put it on the same level as knowing their name or what they do for a living.
  • I once asked an acquaintance first whether I could ask a personal question, and when given permission, I worded it, "Are you a member of the rainbow community?" (The rainbow is a symbol of gay pride.) Which elicited a proud, smiling, "Oh, yes, you bet." What followed was a discussion of local gay pride activities he participated in, issues gays face, etc. I think the man felt accepted by me, and not put down.
  • that's trivial knowledge, unless you know them personally don't do it. if you do they probably would have told you by now
  • There is no polite way...if you know and hang out with this person, eventually you'll find out. By that time, why would it matter, your already friends, right?
  • "Would you like to go to the bedroom, take off our clothes, and have wild freaky sex? Well actually it doesn't have to be the bedroom, anywhere will do"
  • Why is it impolite to ask if someone is gay? Ask them straight out, they don't mind asking straight people straight out.
  • How about this: Do you ever ask someone "Are you straight?" LOL! Then why question someone else? Unless your at a party with a mixed crowd (straight men, straight women, gay men or gay women) then it would probably be practical to ask in the case you were interested in someone. :o)
  • Ask them straight: Are you gay? If they're not, I'm sure they would not take it against you. If they are, I'm sure they would smile and admit it.
  • I don't feel compelled to ask about people's sexual lives, I think that should be private and personal and since I am not looking to have sex with anyone, it would be a moot point to even ask.
  • Do these pants make me look fat?
  • Are you in Dorothy's family?
  • There is no need to ask such a question, it either shows or not and after all it is no ones business what that persons sexual preferences are.
  • talk to him about women ,ask him which kind of female he wants to have as wife, and the like .if he isn't he should be intersted . I think the best way could be observation,pay attention to details around. If he is gay ,there will be lots of evidences,for example :he doesn't have a girlfriend or he looks more like a friend rather than a man to the the female in social activities... words sometimes might be offensive and unreliable but observation may not
  • Are you gay. Pweeze?
  • I have always just asked, but usually i get to know them a bit first and i would never put them in an awkward spot.
  • I dont think it is. I understand why people might find it offensive, but i never mean it in a bad manner! And maybe if you get to know them abit better maybe you will find out without asking.
  • Ask them out.
  • When a girl walks in the room do you notice her boobs or her shoes?
  • situation: gay male wants to know if another male is gay with out aaking directly in risk of loosing male as friend. solution?
  • There isn't a polite way to ask that.It's a personal question and shouldn't matter anyway.
  • try this... "have you ever run backwards in a field of corn ?" . seriously now, i'd just ask "you gay ?" of course, if you're walkin up to strangers and asking them that, then there's really no way to be unoffensive.
  • there is no polite way...don't...wait to be told..or until the person makes an obvious reference to the fact that they are gay.
  • some times it is the way they talk you could know if they are gay
  • I think it may be OK to ask in places like San Francisco...just in case. A Greek god looking acquaintance of mine was asked if he were gay by a girl at a bar there. When he said "no", she said "Kewl, you can buy me a drink if ya'd like." No damage done! [Truth be told, though, I think he lied.] :-)
  • if you cant tell by how they act or dress or talk, just ask, what could the harm be, if they are they should be open about it
  • I don't think it's proper to ask this question at all.
  • why don't you ask a gay guy? : ) I wouldn't know for sure, but I assume that if there's nothing wrong with being gay then it shouldn't be offensive... polite? I dunno
  • Just ask if they are married or in a relationship at the moment, then it is their choice if they wish to go into detail about their private life or not.
  • "Are you gay?"
  • say whats up girl?
  • If you've known the person for sometime and know each other well as friends then i'd try and hang out with them by doing an activity that both enjoy doing. Slowly build up your emotions by asking structured questions. I.e.If the person is interested in Cycling and you likewise then arrange a cycle to and from somewhere, may be a good advantage to cycle at night when there's few people around although stick to somewhere you're familiar with. A good time to do this is after college when you are both available, then you can chill out together. Providing the weather is good then sunset could be a good time to ask him.
  • Bottom line: There is no polite way to ask. In fact, let's say that YOU are gay, and you want to ask the person on a date. You STILL can't ask "politely". The reason that it's not polite is that it puts the other person at a disadvantage. Does he/she know you and trust you? Does he/she know that you're gay? Why are you asking? (He's thinking.) Who else is listening to this conversation? Is this a safe place and time to admit that? If the person knows nothing about you, and if the surroundings are in any way "iffy", then you could actually be putting a person's life in danger. That's not polite! If you're gay and you want a date, just ask the person, "Would you like to go [name an activity]?" Because it might not even matter if he or she is gay or not; he just may not be interested, may be in a committed relationship, may be ill, may be all kinds of things. There is no way to "politely" ask a person such an intimate question. Not even your own kids.
  • First, there would have to be a reason that I would need to know, when discussing homosexual political issues for instance, or trying to be supportive in relationship discussions. . Then it only a matter of reciprocity. "I'm not homosexual, are you?" . It's only a shameful thing if you act like it's a shameful thing. .
  • "Are you gay?" Just like that. The question demands an answer. Their reply only affirms who they are. It's good to affirm who we are. Just try to use a comfortable tone.

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