ANSWERS: 31
  • Consider divorce or anulment.
  • I would tell them where they could stick it.
  • Move into your own apartment and don't give them the address.
  • I'd be having a SERIOUS talk with my SO about deciding to WHOM exactly he is married: mommy, or you. I don't often get biblical in my answers, but there is one bit that states that when a man is grown he is to LEAVE his father and mother and CLEAVE unto his wife. Someone needs to cut the umbilical cord.
  • i would talk to my partner and make it very clear that i was not going to live my life according to his/her parents.
  • Wow, i'm not really okay with this. Some people would say that they are family and blah blah blah but I hate being told what to do by people. I would be defiant and yell I'd start telling them to fuck off. It's sad...but honestly that's what i'd do
  • I would laugh in their faces, probably until I wet myself! NOBODY tells me what to do in my house, and if my partner tried to assist them, he would be packing his bags! I am an adult, I am financially & emotionally responsbile for myself & my children. I do not need anyone's permission to do anything, nor do I ask for it. I buy what I want, when I want it, and do with it what I choose. No inlaw runs my wallet, my house, my kids, or my man!
  • Grow a backbone.
  • I wouldn't have married someone with parents like that. Tells a lot about my future spouse. Either he will be controlling or a wimp, I want neither. What can you do now? Tell them, strong and firm, that this is YOUR house NOT theirs and that you and your husband are ADULTS. That they have raised their children and these are YOUR children. I have a strong feeling that your husband won't like that too much though.
  • You did not know this before you got married? If your partner backs them and ignores you..well, clearly you don't count for anything. The question is, is that how you want to live the rest of your life? If it were you and your husband working together against them, that's one thing..but you're standing all alone. If it were me I'd get out and take the kids..that kind of environment is terrible for the children..hopefully it isn't too late to rescue them from that kind of mindset or you from that kind of abuse. :(
  • Thanks. Every time I stand up to them, they tell me I am crazy, need a therapist, etc, then they go and set everything up without me knowing about until it's too late. I think the only thing I can do is leave, I can't see it getting any better. I've tried to be nice, I've tried talking, and I've told them off a number of times, yet nothing ever makes them back down. That gives me the options of divorce, or staying until I turn crazy and need a therapist!
  • Good luck with that.
  • Just after I showed them that they are 'number one' with my two middle fingers I would turn my back on them and drop my drawers and let em know to kiss every inch of it. As for the partner - He could piss in the wind. A man is only a man on his own. As soon as your partner gets his balls outta mommies purse you have to deal with him and his parents and NO ONE is worth all that!
  • Been there, they tried that.... can you say D I V O R C E? OH!,the stories I can tell! Me ex would even go so far as to try and co-mingle our MONEY!
  • The next time they came over....I wouldn't open the door. If they have a key, get a chain. Even if they have money and can afford lawyers, the little guy does not always lose. If your husband decides not to side with you, that should tell you where his loyalties lie. I agree with another answer here....time to cut the cord buddy!!!
  • I would not HAVE a partner who was still so engrossed in his parents lives, or them in his..There is no room for a spouse in that situation..
  • Divorce. or maybe just tell your husband about the situation and let him decide for his own good.
  • It will be probably difficult and dangerous to critisize your in-laws by your partner. It would be better to tell your partner that there are two people here taking the decisions in common: you and your partner. This means that each one has to make compromisses. For instance if *your partner* wants to choose where you live, *you* will be the one to decide which school your child has to go. Avoid your in-laws as much as possible, seeing them just enough not to be accused "not to like them". Go only with your partner and child to most holidays, and go to the in-laws only to Thanksgiving and the day *after* Christmas. If nothing works, envisage divorce...
  • The parents are the dominating factor here,and it's quite obvious that your partner has been under their influence all his life.They more than likely believe that you can easily be brain washed into their way of thinking, just like their son is.I think that you have got to take control because i don't think your partner is strong enough to deal with such controlling parents.It sounds like he has never been able to think for himself,he has done to please his parents,thats why you have not got his support.Be strong for your child, if your partner can't see because he is so far stuck up his parents asses, then tell him and his parents,they must see it your way,or the highway.Good luck.
  • It sounds like a very unhealthy situation. This is your life, not theirs. That is absurd! I think a little space would be a breath of fresh air!
  • Uh..nope..no way! I would wish my soon to be ex partner all the luck in the world and wish the three of them lotsa luck. I love what Lord Knows said about taking his balls out of mommy's purse...ROTF
  • I can't imagine even, how I'd ever allow the situation to get to that point in the first instance!
  • I left and am now in hiding! They wouldn't even let me give my childern my name (we're not married) or the first name that I wanted to give one of them. She (MIL) even told people that she had legal custody of not only my kids but of me. (My ex isn't the father), we met after I left the father. So if things are really getting bad consider seeing a councellor. You are his wife, not his property! Good luck and God bless!!
  • To protect yourself you need to get some of what they say on tape, also tell your minister and everyone else who will listen what they are doing. Otherwise it will just be your word against theirs and since your husband is still under their influence, he would probably side with them. After you have done this and have the proof, sit down with your husband and have a nice quiet conversation about the situation. Tell him you cannot and will not live this way anymore. Make sure he knows just how disappointed you are by his treatment of you. If he is not willing to side with you, tell him to pack up and go back to his mommie. Only leave as a last resort. Do not under any circumstances leave without your child. If he gives you any problems call the police. Get a good lawyer, he can give you all the advice from there on. If you live in a state that makes you wait a year for a divorce, file for a legal separation and child support. Don't let your in-laws have unsupervised visits with your child.
  • In short: I would tell them to go shit in their hat.
  • Tell him to take the kids and go move in with mom & dad; wonder how long that will last!
  • I would seriously question his love for you. Sounds very controlling to me. They should honour you as an individual and your husband should respect your wants and needs to. If you child, girl or boy sees you being controlled, if a boy, he is more likely to repeat the behaviour of his father towards a woman when grown up and if she is a girl, she will more likely become very submissive, letting a man control her thinking it is normal. This isn't. You have a lot to think about. Act before it is too late.
  • Im sorry but if your partner takes his parents side over yours without talking to you regarding the situation then you need to up your game and stand your grounds and say enough is enough.You have to remember you choose to be with your partner because you knew he would support you, stand by you and be there for you when you needed him. Not to disregard your opinions, or feelings and do what his parents think is best.However i have to say i dont understand why you put up with it. Remember you are an adult so talk to the inlaws and tell them you are married to your partner not them and tell them not to interfear as you wont take it anymore. If you stay quiet and tolerate everything thrown at you then there is no hope and you and you will be stuck in this visious circle as they are fully aware you wont retaliate and stand your grounds.Grow some balls!!! But before that have a serious word with your partner and just remind them why you decided to be with them in the first place and if they dont think you are capable of making the right decisions for you and your family then he/she should pack their bags and move back in with they parents cause they obviously are not mature enough to take control of their own life without mummy and daddys help. xxxx
  • I'd be having a serious talk with my SO about why he's kow-towing to his parents instead of doing what's best for our own family. If he always lets his parents make decisions for him, I doubt he will change. You won't get any peace until mummy and daddy dearest kick the bucket. If he does not listen to your concerns, divorce him. His parents already had a chance to live their lives. You should have a chance to live yours and not be dominated by your in-laws.
  • Well... why don't you hit her? and than offer her drugs.. now that.. will be a GOOD IDEA. hehehehe
  • First I will talk to your partner.Then I would establish that is your house, your rules and when come to your children you have the finale word. I love my parents to death, but when it comes to my house and what my husband and I do that is nobody bussiness but our. My husband and I have already said what happen in our home stay there.

Copyright 2018, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy