ANSWERS: 100
  • I actually think its a really smart thing to do. things are very different when you live with another person, whether it be a lover or a friend or even family. its a good way to REALLY get to know someone and if you're religious, then just because you live together, doesn't mean you have to sleep together. :)
  • Marriage is but a slip of paper. Who cares as long as you love each other?
  • Well, lets just say, that this is a subject that I can actually comment on! I was married for 18 years to a difficult man before divorcing him. I have now met another man in my life, that i do live with at this time ,and am not married to. Its to me, a good thing, because you can see if you can tolerate living with each other, before you get married. Its also a way, that you can leave if things dont work out. We feel as if living together, is better for the both of us, because we dont have the issues that married couples do, no ties with each other, if things go wrong.
  • its cool, you shouldnt need a bit of paper to prove youre committed to each other? I think some ppl only get married to have a lush party - and if thats the case, its fair enough!
  • I think its the smart thing to do...you never REALLY know a person until you have lived with them..I think its better to sort out those details before you tie the knot.
  • I totally support and recommend the idea that 2 people should live together before marriage. You wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a test drive would you? It's kind of the same concept. I know to many people that found out disturbing things about the S/O after getting married. It helps avoid buyers remorse.
  • I had a similar experience to Sweetcheeks, I was married stright out of highschool and soon after divorced and I truely believe if we had either waited or lived together first we wouldn't have gone though as much heart ache and court battles... it would have made things much easier and we would have learned each others home habits (one of many reasons for the divorce). I am now living with a man that is the love of my life and we are learning first if we can handle this part before we take the plunge because I want my second marraige to be my last marraige.
  • I'm against it largely because I am against all premarital sex. Sex is something that should be an expression of a deep and committed love. Shacking up is anti-thetical to committed. It is a way to avoid commitment, which would tend to prevent the kind of relationship that a man and a woman should strive for. (Not that I'm saying that marriage guarantees it.) There are other things we should be doing before marriage to gain a better understanding of our potential partners (and ourselves).
  • My wife checked me out for 10 years while we lived together and then she convinced me to get married. It was great and we never regretted doing it.
  • my fiance and i are in our 50's but we chose to live together for about 6 month before we marry just to be be sure cuz neither of us want to do this again
  • It is a good thing to see how grumpy they are in the morning! ;)
  • I would say you never really know someone until you live with them.
  • I would highly suggest it. It's kinda a little test to make sure you want to make it real.
  • I would highly recommend it. It is better if you live with them for a little while, and make sure, than to wait until you get married and realize you made a huge mistake.
  • It is not something I would ever do. God wants people who live together to be married and not living in sin.
  • its irresponsible to enter into a marriage in todays world without living together first. the promise you make is a real and significant especially in a world where so many things can be bought and sold making a vow that you put this person before everything else is something not to be entered into lightly. if you dont think the promise makes a difference then dont make it. if you do, then do your research.
  • This might sounds a little um, blunt but My opinion on living together before marriage is 'Heck yes'! That is the only way you are going to find out if they pick up after themselves, or know how to cook, clean, do laundry, and fix things. Marrying someone before living together is like buying a car you never test drove. Looks good from the outside but it might not have all the features you want & break down a mile down the road.
  • No harm to others and no foul, I see nothing wrong with it, especially in todays world.
  • It should be mandatory, as should sex before marriage. Anything else is irresponsible.
  • I think living together before marriage is over rated. It shows just how casual we take committment, and how everything has to have a quick fix, it doesn't work out lets move on to another. If you take your vows seriously and mean 4-ever, it makes giving and taking mean something. Any relationship takes work, and thought and patience and tenderness, you have to give it 100%. How can you do that knowing that person can just zip be gone, because they didn't think enough of themselves or you to make a committment of marriage. I know I will get down rated for this, Oh well, I get down rated for alot less. just MHO.
  • google divorce rate among people who live together before marriage..you may be surprised by what you find...get the facts first! I divorce rate is higher...
  • I wanted to live with my ex-wife before we were married. She and my mother were against it. If I knew more about the real woman that I married, I would not have married her. I accept what happened, but I would never get married to someone I didn't live with first.
  • I think it is not a good idea. The dynamics of a marriage are different than living together. If you do get married how do you successfully make the shift? How do you change the habits you've developed living together without a lot of resistance. There are some I suppose for whom everything stays the same but from the divorce statistics it doesn't seem to help.
  • The point of living together before marriage is to sleep together, and that ruins what would be the icing on the wedding cake before the cake was even made.
  • ...why not?... if one enters into any relationship with the idea that they are encountering their equal, and that this equal is whole, innocent, and perfect, wouldn't this mitigate any conflicts...?
  • I think it is a great idea, I think that to get to know somebody 100% you need to live with them. People are different when they live together you can see how they care for themselves as well as there home...ect. If you are dating someone they are going to make sure the house is picked up and the toilet is flushed..lol, living together just helps us really know!
  • Im not condoning it but my Hubby and I lived together for 6 years before we got married, we have been together this year for 17 years, been married 11 of them.
  • At first I thought you should see how it would be like to live with someone you plan to marry, before you commit to a lifetime with them. Then, I realized, that's really unnesessary. You date them to know who they are. You fall in love with who they are. How is living with them going to change that? All you're going to learn is perhaps they're messy. Is that enough a reason to not marry someone? You know the person well enough to know you want to marry them, so why move in with them before marriage? If you really love someone, you don't have to first "test" how it's going to be to live with them, you'll just make it work.
  • I think it is unnecessary, you should know enough about your prospective spouse before you get married. That is the reason for dating, to get to know one another.
  • No you shouldn't it can create more complications. Besides marriage is NOT a car people. And if you liken it to one, that is a good indication you probably shouldn't be married!
  • I think that it should be a personal choice, and I understand the 'it gives you better insight into the person' argument. However, it is statistically proven that people who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to get divorced. I think this is because people get used to a certain routine while living together, then that cycle gets broken by the marriage. Plus, living together beforehand takes some of the excitement out of everything, which will cause you to get bored in the marriage pretty quickly.
  • I love it :D
  • my mother would kill ME -but, i think you should do whatever is best for you!
  • For me it's almost a requirement. Until you live with someone, you may not know everything about them. Living together will make you more aware of all the bad or annoying habits that they may have. It also shows whether or not you are both able to tolerate being together all of the time or if perhaps you aren't ready for a more serious commitment. I know quite a few people that have decided to end things after living together before being married. If they were married it would have made the situation a whole lot more complicated.
  • would you buy a car that wasnt roadworthy? got to try before you buy i say. think your crazy if you dont these days. you dont truely know a person till you live with them
  • I plan on doing it myself shortly, to see truthfully how my boyfriend and I really handle life together. It's better to know now than after you get married, divorce can be expensive!
  • My parents divorced when I was 4. They had been married for 8 yrs and dated for 4 yrs before that. I moved in with my now husband about 6 mths after we started dating. My father Flipped out., Here's the thing. You can date forever but only by living together do you know if you can deal with all the little things that may or may not irk you about the other person. This isn't a decision for everyone, but before you make a committed decision like marriage and possibly add children to the equation, make sure you can stand all the little things too, You'd be surprised how important all those things can really be in the end..
  • personally, i think you should live together before you get married for this reason.....you really don't know someone until you've lived with them. if you can live with someone for @ least six months to a year and not have a problem with the "little" things or their "habits" then yeah, get married, but if live with them and start to depise the way they do things down to the way they chew their food, then i would say, pack either your bags or theirs and get to moving.
  • I think living together before marriage is a wonderful idea. I am currently 20 years old and living with my finance. We have known each other since we were 12 years old, but for practical reasons (such as losing insurance if we get married- we are both still in college) we cannot marry until after we graduate. Living together, we have learned each others habits and have been very open with each other on what bothers us and what we can put up with. I have learned as much in the year we have lived together as in the seven years I had known him before. You see first hand how the other person deals with situations. It is much easier to understand a person when you see them on a day to day basis at their best and at their worst. We recently adopted a cat, and my finance treats her like his little baby which gives me insight as to how he will be as a father. My mother married a man she had never lived with, but had dated for four years and had known since she was a young child. While he seemed charming and sweet when they were out or around other people, he was both verbally and physically abusive to her when they were at home alone. She barely escaped this marriage (the priest annulled it after finding out what was going on)and my mother swears that it would have been much less frightening to her and less traumatizing if she had lived with him first in order to find out who he really was. You need to know what you are getting into 100% before making a promise that is supposed to last a lifetime.
  • I think it really depends on the couple. My husband and I moved in together 3 months after dating. You would never guess it as we are very dedicated to one another and in all other senses traditional people...but it worked for us. However if there are already children involved by other people I am generally against it.
  • HA! Would you buy a car without test driving it?!!!!!
  • It really really depends. Part of what I beleive is not sleeping together before marriage... And living together would certainly tempt both parties. But with every circumstance I would have a different opinion.. ~+~
  • Its a 100% must do. Why? You are making a life commitment to someone. No refunds, no returns. Your wedding night is no time to find out you cannot tolerate something they do. Sex is big in a marriage, so you need to know your partner will be able or willing to satisfy needs.
  • If both sides work on making the arrangement work. Both parties have to contribute to make it work and no children.
  • Its like a learner's permit. Why not. You don't really know a person until you've lived with them. The doting boyfriend who was super attentive to you on the dates is the same guy who will be hollering between belches and farting get me a beer, after a few years of marital bliss.
  • I have been living with my boyfriend for about 6 years now and we are not even talking about marriage. We have a 2 year old son too!!
  • I think living together before you are married is a great Idea, I give both parties a chance to really get to know each other and take of the masks you have on while dating. Think about it this way, How do you know someone's personality if you don't know them personally. Living together opens all the unseen habits we all have. If you can't deal with each others habits, when you have nothing to lose, It will be a lot easier to deal with when you sign half of your heart, soul, money, your "life" to another person if it is not working out. Also gives you the time to talk about the little details you normally would not have time or the ability to talk about dating.
  • Well, when I got married this month, we didn't live together before we got married and it feels so different and amazing then before we got married. I seriously feel more fulfilled. A girl I know just got married before me and she said it didn't feel any different because they lived together for 2 years first. I wouldn't give up this feeling for anything!
  • against it and i'm 19. you don't have to fully move in with somebody to know what it's like to live with them. of course you can spend a few nights together here and there. i would want to have my own place away from my boyfriend to have some alone time. i agree that moving in together is like the 'icing on the cake' after you get married.
  • Its fine, I lived with my husband for almost 4 years before we got married. I did not feel it was a big deal because we both knew people who did the opposite and got divorced. A marriage is more than living together or not. You have to do a lot of work to keep it good.
  • Living together is cool but marriage should never happen. It's outdated.
  • I'm living with my partner now, and I'm happy. It is a good decision for me. What works for me may not work for everyone, and vice versa. Do what works for you, and let others do the same. I will add this caution. After going through my hellacious marriage and trying, nearly unending divorce, I can say that marriage should NOT be entered into lightly, and you should take all precautions and know every last thing that you can prior to marriage. Decide for yourself what that means to you and how to do it, but please take that advice. It takes far more money and time to end a marriage than it takes to make one, so make a good one.
  • Sounds like a good idea to me.
  • If living together involves sex, it is not that great of an idea. Why would you spoil what should be ideal for the wedding night in some average house/apartment? Pre or extra marital sex nullifies the bliss that is to be had in marriage.
  • Do It. Just live together and forget marriage altogether. Marriage just ruins a good relationship.
  • I think that you should live together before you commit to getting married. It is a different world today with people having children from other relationships and 50% of marriages ending in divorce. You need to make sure that you know eachother well enough and see all sides of the person (and their children if they have them) before you get married.
  • I agree with a lot of the comments! Living with someone before marriage lets you get to know the person in their good times and bad. You either fall in love with them in a whole other way, or you realize that is just won't work out. If marriage is in the future you get to start bulding the foundation together and grow together before you marry. I have seen that it really helps in the long run... no suprises after marriage, you know what you get yourself into.
  • It's good. but the other option if you dont want to live together yet before marriage is to take alot of vacation together. like me and my bf, we spent alot of time going off somewhere. from there I also know how bad n how good he is. and what he truly likes and dislikes. living together sometimes doesnt guarantee that you and ure bf / gf are good to be together. really all depends on how you both want to understand each other.
  • Living together before married is called co-habitation. It is a form of high-tech adultery. Cohabitation cannot build healthy societies. the blood relations in this system are very weak. Co-habitation is based on fashionable life style, money and individual freedom. It does not require commitment. It should be regarded as a crime by the court of law.
  • i think it's a good idea.. my parents lived together before they got married and i got to see how my step father's personality really was.. he cursed at my mother and disrespected her and tried to make her look stupid in front of his friends so that he could boost his ego and look superior.. she cried often and i tried to convince her to leave him before they got married.. she continued with the wedding and now it's worse than ever.
  • I think it is a great idea, you truly do not know how a person is until you live with them.
  • I believe it can be a great thing becasue it lets you really get to know the person before you get married. It also lets you get past a lot of problems before the fact. That way there is a lot less stress on the relationship just after marriage and you don't have to figure out all of your spouses annoying habbits while you are trying to make married life work.
  • Do whatever you want, as long as you love and respect one another. Also, Make sure there is a future together.
  • Living with a person before getting married is show much better because you get to see how they are more in their own environment. Seeing how they are at home.
  • In living together relationship, blood relations are very weak. It is built up on pillars of individualism, fashion, and money. It needs no commitment. Live in relationship cannot build a healthier society. Live in relationship resembles to that of in animals. Live in relationship is a form of High-tech Adultery. It is quite against a nation traditions and customs. Live in relationship can ruin the family system. THIS IS A BARE FACT. IT IS NOT THE OPINION.
  • I am against it. people are so woried about a mairage ending that they want to act married before they are, thinking that respects the sanctity of mairage because it reduces the odds of devorce. really it reduces the value of mairage. if you do everything before mairage then mairage becomes "just a piece of paper" which does not respect its "sanctity" at all. that being said, though I technicaly lived with my parrents untill I was married because that is where all my stuff was, I ended up staying like every night with my fiancee in her apartment I got her because it was 1/10th the distance from my work. we only had a 3 months engagment and she only lived there for 2 before the wedding date.
  • Adultery is not only having sex out of marriage, but also living with the opposite sex prior to marriage. This type of relationship is not suitable for Indians. In foreign countries, they change their spouses as we change our clothes daily. Live in relationship is the conditional one. If the condition is failed, then the relation breaks out. It does not need any commitment. Live in relationship is extremely fragile. It cannot build healthy family or healthy society. The blood relations in this are very weak. Indians should remember that "Shiny are the distant hills" and that "Neighbor's curry seems to be tasty". A society devoid of traditions and customs is said to be ruined. Live in relationship is basically built on the pillars of Individualism, fashionable life style and money. It is better to remember our responsibilities, but not worth to fight for rights. Individualism and fashion should not exceed beyond the limits of traditions and customs of one's own country. SAVE THE TRADITIONS, SAVE INDIA!
  • Totally sensible. What if they've got some skanky habit like cutting their toenails in bed, or wiping their snot on the towels
  • very reasonable, see how the person you are about to spend the rest of your life lives, are they messy, do they cook, do dishes, and so on, they may have only didn't it befor if you were coming over. and you get to know each other better
  • i would like it! i dont see a problem with it but them again, im not a full-on christian or anything.
  • its a good idea, you should know a person well before you marry them.
  • It's a great idea to live together before you get marry because then you get to know what the person is really like before you married because if it doesn't work then you don't have to get a divorce.
  • In live-in-relationship, the sanctity of marriage is lost. It does not need any commitment. It is very fragile unlike marriage. The breakage and divorce are more in cohabitation, more than in marriage. In marriage system, both of the opposite sexes are committed to each other, religiously. Marriage relationship is 100 % safe unlike cohabitation. Cohabitation is a pure form of high-tech adultery, usually adopted by few IT employees, celebrities, and the rich. The only way to reduce divorces is to bringing up children gender wise, in the midst of traditions and customs, encouragement of joint families, parents staying with their children while at jobs, mothers should give up jobs and look after the children and the house. By nature, it the duty of a father to earn by his sweat, and it is the duty of a mother to bear, feed and educate children.
  • i don't a6ree that you should live to6ether first. 1 if you don't know how the person acts in the morin6 you probably haven't spent enou6h time with the person. if you spend a whole day with the person you know how they would act when they are half awake. And the sex thin6 very probable it will happen. A lot of my friends say you have to know whether they are messy or not. But if your like me you don't sit at the front door waitin6 for him to clean up. You walk in and see whats the dama6e. I mean if you want to heck I'm not stoppin6 you but personally i don't need a test drive for somthin6 that i don't plan on experiencein6 a6ain with another person. I mean a car and a person to spend the rest of your life with are totally different. If your really committed and really love the person i don't think you really need to know what they live like or how they are in the mornin6. If your prepared for the commitment then jump in and don't look back.
  • great idea, I ouldn't buy a car without test driving it. I sure as heck would never marry a woman without living together with her first. Yuo NEVER really know someone until you live with them. As for me I will never get married again and I have been living in sin for 10 happy years with my gf.
  • Living with someone really lets you get to know them on different levels and can be helpful.
  • The best way to ruin a relationship is to LIVE TOGETHER... getting married means nothing...
  • i do not think it a good idea. U can travel together though
  • Well, my wife and I got pregnant before we lived together. Broke up, for 4 months while she was pregnant. Then moved in together. Finally got married after two beautiful little girls and 3 years after our first date (to the day) Next anneversery marks 4 years married, 7 years together. Not the best way to do it, but I would change a thing, she's wonderful, and so are my little girls. I learned one thing through the experience. They teach you to save yourself until marriage, and it's a good ideal, but few make it, and it isn't the main key in making a relationship work. Relationships are hard. There isn't really a right or wrong way. The only right is when you find someone, you find a way to work through the hard times and stay together. The only wrong way is when things get hard, or you fall out of love, you give up and don't find a way to keep going.
  • I recommend it. You can love someone but not be able to live with that person. I love my husband but I am not in love with him and therefore it's difficult to handle the little things that most people over look when living with someone. If you really know that you are in love with a person then it won't matter if you live together or not before marriage.
  • My approach has been to live with your love and get to know them first. On the other hand, One nephew, the son of my eldest sister didn't even have sex before they married. So far so good for them. Conclusion. Depends on the couple and the shared values.
  • Didn't do it, but recommend it. You get to see if you can live together. It's a lot different than dating. There are some issues that arise though. What happens if you break up? One of you is screwed. You have to move your stuff, find a place etc. The upside is you save money because you share expenses. My current g/f has a house as do I so that's not going to happen unless we get married. My ex wife moved to my area and lived in an apartment for about six months till we got married. Thing is, I was at her place or she was at my place every night. But, it still was not the same as living together.
  • My boyfriend and I live together. We both contribute equally to bills, we both have full-time jobs. We are in love, have sex, and are completely committed to eachother. I resent the implication that our relationship is sinful. If we were married tomorrow it would not make us more committed to eachother than we already are, or make us less likely to split up either. I am not against marriage. I want to get married one day. But why should I be judged just because I am not? I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and should do what is best for their own relationships without being subjected to the judgements of anyone else.
  • live with before engagement. Set a trial period and then move out. If the issues were huge and a loto f fights ensued... run like hell. If it was a smooth transition, hug like hell :-)
  • I would be a good idea to find out how you get along while both living in one residence.Once you are married it is too late to find out.
  • i would say it would be a good experiance it would help you and your partener learn a lot about eachother like your favourite foods fashions and how much u ithere love or hate you partener in my case i would love for me and my girlfriend to get a house and move in together i would just love to be with her as much as possible just to be in the same room as my wifey is a blessing from god to me yours trully the big OG AB95 whoever said gangsters cant be sintamentle should be shot twice in da dome and once in tha bone
  • I'm all for it. It is good to take marriage / partnerships seriously.
  • With such a high # of divorces I think it's a smart idea.
  • For me personally, I lived with mine for 4 years before we got married. I do recommend it ( even if morally its wrong) its kinda a try it before you buy it arrangement. People are much more different behind locked doors & when you move in with them you see how responsible or irresponsible they are with money & if they have habits your willing to spend the rest of your life with. Someone can look good & attractive but its much more different when you have to live with & deal with every good & bad part of them. We've been married for 9 years now & together for 13 altogether
  • Only if engaged because there's a commitment; otherwise, doing so without a commitment makes it easier for him/her to walk out when the going gets rough. It works out better for the male in a 'live in' relationship w/no commitment.
  • The funny thing is that no one has seemed to bring up the statics. Your marriage is 80% more likely to end in divorce if your lived together before marriage. Take that into account that marriage these days is only 50/50 at best and that puts you in a huge disadvantage. Don't take my word for it, google it. Your putting youself in a huge hole by living together before marriage. I would only sugest it if your in some sort of open marriage or you really don't care about your marriage working.
  • It's not wise to marry someone you barely know. You have to know what it is like to be together day and/or night with that person.
  • Awesome idea! ~ i wouldn't buy a horse without riding it first i wouldn't buy a car without driving it first i wouldn't buy a coat without trying it on first ~ i wouldn't commit my life to someone without knowing if i can stand to live with them first. ~ It amazes me how people try before they buy but when it comes to their own life ~ so many don't even bother to try living together first ~ before committing their entire life to doing so ~ surely is the craziest thing i ever heard of !!
  • I am not married but am living very happily together with my lover for almost 18 years. I do not see a reason why we should get officially married to be honest. We did get a tattoo together.. which binds us until death. That is our own ritual, and it means a lot to me.
  • I've found that living together before marriage works much better than living together after marriage. After marriage, one or both parties typically quits trying. We should try it like the presidential elections. I'd like to vote for a new wife every 4 years. :)
  • I think it's a mistake. I don't think it gives any real indication of whether or not the couple is compatible. In fact, if I had lived with my husband that first year rather than married him, we would not still be together. There were several occasions that I certainly would have left him permanently if I hadn't been "motivated" because of the legal commitment and the legal ramifications of divorce. They were all stupid little things BUT when there is no real motivating factor to keep you working on the issue then it's often easier to just move on. Twenty-five years later our marriage is one of the strongest I've ever seen. It weathered that first year when I felt "neglected" as we got used to living together and he stopped bringing home flowers. It weather that hormonal rush before during and after the pregnancies. And it weathered the peaks and valleys when sexual interest wanes and bit and then surges strongly once again. I can only imagine that men go through the same experience but for different issues and reasons. Marriage helps relationships weather all these things that happen during the life of the marriage. If we were simply living together, it would be much easier to call it quits and move on to the next best thing.
  • I totalt believe you need to live with someone to really know them and there habits you wait till after teh wedding and could learn ya'll really dont get a long in closed spaces
  • Living together before marriage is nothing but a pure sin of adultery. Every boy and girl of today should know the sanctity of marriage. Boys should be brought up like boys and not like Sissies. Girls should be brought up like girls and not like Tomboys. Children should be brought up in the midst of traditions.
  • I would only protest the "before marriage" part. Not everyone has an end goal of marriage. Some people live together in a committed relationship with no plans for marriage. As do others with no possibility of marriage (gay couples for example). We are stable couples too. If you are regarding cohabitation as a "trial period" for an inevitable marriage, that is a different thing. But some of us are not practicing for marriage. We're living together, committed to each other, without the baggage of being legally and financially tied together and without the gender-role expectations that are imposed by marriage. And, as I mentioned, many of us are unable to marry but no less willing to commit. Criticizing us on the basis of a future marriage we may not even want is a little silly.
  • I am on my second marriage and have done it both ways. Living together first does have its advantages... you really get to know all of the quirks that he/she has and can decide if you can live with them. It can also be a big money-saver when the wedding comes around. It has to be a very mutual decision, however.

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