ANSWERS: 14
  • You've just met the wrong women. I always went for the nice guys. That's how I found such a great guy to marry.
  • G U I L T Y Give me an asshole and i'm all up on him... give me a nice guy and i'm like EH. Problem? I feel like I could step all over the nice guy and that I have him in the palm of my hand... But i've matured and learned. I'm with a sweet guy now
  • Not really perplexing so much as incredibly funny. Women tend to be attracted to confidence, if there is one thing assholes have in spades, it's confidence. I don't buy the idea of a "dangerous man" attraction, because I've NEVER heard a single woman say "Well that man on cops in the wife beater shirt and the mustard stained pants is the single most attractive person I've ever seen" Thats an actual dangerous man.
  • amen ..thank you i have been wondering the same exact thing its actually quite annouying
  • Ender trust me on this one sweety there are tons of women out there that appreciate a good man. Some times guys and women look or are attracted to the people who are the most unattainable. I think that is something that happens to both sexes. I personally love the bad boys but my experience with them has been a bit turbulent over the years....LOL You find you a woman who has had her heart broken a time or two by a bad boy and trust me she will be very happy to look your way. ;)
  • I think it's because the "several women" of which you speak are not nice..like attracts like..the total jerk guys are cheating with total jerk girls..now, do you really want a total jerk girl or do you want a nice one, just as you're a nice guy?
  • Thats a matter of perspective. the cheating man may seem like the most charming nicest guy that the unsuspecting woman has ever met. And if the women know hes a cheater? well, then they are just dumb and you wouldn't want them anyways.
  • People often confuse excitement with love. If you keep thinking about someone all day, and you can't quite put a name to the emotion that you have, it's easy to think "Oh, this must be love! I must be infatuated with them, because my heart races and I get confused whenever they're around". And keeping people off balance and distracted is what jerks do best! That's all they need to do. It works great. A lot of people will interpret that swooning, unsettling nervous feeling as being swept off their feet and having a crush. This is most common with emotionally immature women, who can't identify their own emotions very well. Once someone identifies their giggling nervousness as actually "having ones boundaries stepped on", they start being more attracted to warmth, support, and genuine sharing instead. But that takes maturity. How many conscious, deliberate people do you know, male or female? If a woman requires excitement and constant distractions from herself, a jerk is the perfect solution.
  • I don't get it. Are you a "nice guy" wanting to cheat? Or, are you just saying that all the "bad boys" get all the women, period? LoL! I've just accepted it as the norm. A lot of women ARE attracted to the self-confident, daring, exciting men who are willing to risk getting in trouble to impress their women! My little brother (the convict), ALWAYS had women hanging all over him! It seemed he would just snap his fingers and "poof" there they were! But me, who people said was his twin, I had to work hard for every date I ever got. I don't get it, either.
  • Trust me, nice guys are a valuable commodity. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places.
  • It's not all about meeting the wrong type of people, I think you've got to understand what makes women attracted to men. Granted, some people don't know what is good for them and follow their gut feeling over their better judgement, but I think women learn from experience (as do we). I used to be the archetypal "nice guy" and I never got anywhere with women. Meanwhile my younger brother, who was cheeky, cocky and funny would have girls flocking around him. But I finally realised, it wasn't the fact that I was nice that made me single and undesirable, it was a lack of other qualities. Qualities that make you more appealing to the opposite sex. There are several of them, but the main ones are confidence and humour, especially the former. Bad guys have a "couldn't care less" attitude towards women and for some reason, that does work. It's hard to explain why, but what I have noticed is that women are not attracted to guys who are the opposite of that - and by that I mean guys who are needy, insecure and constantly looking for peoples' approval. People you would think of as "Nice guys" often tend to have these sorts of nervous traits and it does them no favours. It works the same way for us men. If a woman acts too nice and needy around you, it's kind of a turn off. What I would argue is that it's good to be a nice guy, but don't rely on being nice to attract women to you because if you do you're fighting a losing battle. My advice is to be confident and don't ever put anyone else's value above your own. It helps if you look at it from a woman's point of view - ask yourself are you the sort of guy a woman would want to be around? I do have faith in women. They aren't attracted to jerks because they are bad, they just like fun and excitement and sometimes a challenge (correct me if I'm wrong) - and being overly nice isn't very challenging. But believe me, you can be a nice guy and be exciting. I've met people who are, and believe me guys like that are rare but they do get on very well with the opposite sex.
  • It has to do with confidence and shyness. Part of that manifests as being quiet much of the time, and not boisterous and "playful" as many of the "total jerks" are. Nice guys (I am one!) will sit on the edge, against the wall or in the corner, and watch all the goings on, waiting for a girl to ask to sit, so she can take a breath from the "fun". Of course, that never happens, but we can dream. When we gain a little confidence in ourselves, it shows in our bearing, and in our ability to "just talk". We can be a bit smart-alecky without being crude, or we can even acknowledge that a statement we made COULD be taken as "rude, crude, lewd, and socially unacceptable". (ie: Girl says, "I've gotta go home and go to bed." Guy, "Want some company?" with a smile, where the bad guys will most likely be MUCH more serious about it.) Work on the confidence. It does wonders. It did for me. (Got into theater in college. Having to stomp out onto center stage, draw a sword, stand with it held high over the audience, and blare out lines, extolling war (I was "the warrior" in Amphytrion 38) and have the audience say they were scared but loved it can do a LOT to build confidence!) Try theater, if you can. ;-)
  • Women are attracted to men who are confident and more often than not very confident men are the jerk who make the rest of us look bad. On the other hand women a fixers they love to try to make things better around them so who better to date than someone who needs the most fixing.
  • Good answers by all. I wondered the same growing up. But it's not that they're assholes. That's the wrong word. Because if you got to know them, they're pretty decent--they just know how to put out that macho vibe. Or they have that macho look. Some of them don't even know they're doing it. And the girls just gravitate toward them--they don't do anything. They 'become' assholes because they are corrupted by this power they have to draw women in. Women are like a dime a dozen to them. So why the need to treat them really well? There isn't one--because the women will accept them no matter what they do. That's why they take it to the next level by being absolute obnoxious jerks just because they can--it's abuse of power. They drink, do drugs, sleep around because they can. The women will still accept them. So the real perpetrators who enable this behavior are the women. Women are the creators of this problem. They are at fault because they enable the men to become like this. They are insecure by nature so they go out with guys who substantiate their insecurity--if they actually respected themselves, they wouldn't let themselves get treated so poorly. Not all women of course. Too few women truly understand the power they have to legitimize a man--by choosing one guy over another, they're choosing one behavior over another and one idea over another--it can lead to the collapse of our entire society if they continue to pick the worst men. Women provide motivation to men. If they keep giving it up to the least worthy men, it has far-reaching implications to the rest of society, industry, the economy etc. So don't be jealous of these guys or want to date these girls becasue as someone already said, they're made for eachother because they're so hopeless and lost--who cares about them. Find someone who's a good fit for you.

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