ANSWERS: 50
  • Sometimes people are put off by people who are too talkative and sociable, particularly if you make a habit of being overly friendly with those you don't already know, or impose on already established groups of people uninvited. Seems unfair, but we tend to get suspicious of chatty people on their own, often wondering what they're after, and why they don't have any friends already. Rightly or wrongly, we assume there must be something wrong with them. We've all come off long train journeys or out of waiting rooms asking our friends "Why is it the weirdo always comes to talk to me?" . Try not to be that weirdo! You might want to tone things down a little bit, be friendly, but don't try too hard, and learn to realise when three (or, four, or five...) is a crowd. Pass the time of day with people, but don't over-do it, let things build gradually, chat for a few minutes, the go back to looking like you're enjoying your own company. Make sure you're listening as well as talking too- ask people (not too personal!) questions about themselves, rather than trying to do all the talking yourself. And don't be a bore- limit your streams of conciousness and learn to sense when someone's not interested. Consider joining a group or taking on activities where there will be other people on their own, rather than with existing friends. Art, dance, sports and exercise classes are some options. If you're in a bar or cafe chat with the staff rather than people who are there with friends or people who are alone but occupied (e.g reading or working).
  • Proverbs 19:24 "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."
  • maybe you come on too strong. Sometimes people are intimidated by people who are outspoken. Try toning it down a notch and just observing peole first. That way you can get a feel for what they are about and who they are. Based on that, try another approach to trying to be somone's friend.
  • May be you're not... just a thought.
  • Theres an old saying that might be your answer: ' to make a friend you must be a friend '
  • sometimes our opinions of ourselves aren't always quite true. i think you should ask someone you trust, a parent or sibling or friend, who would answer you honesly, what they think about you, if you really are all the things you say you are.
  • There are many people in life that are so insecure that they dont want to be your friend because you attract more attention than they can imagine. I have that problem also, and its nothing to do with being too talkative. At the end of the day, that is you, you should never change who you are, as long as you dont offend anyone, you should be yourself. People are very envious and insecure of pretty people and will be resentful, take this as a compliment, and look for friends that are of similar beauty, and same confidence, and friendly like yourself. Your just looking in the wrong places. It is only now I appreciate why pretty people stick woth pretty people, and vice verse. And thats the way to keep it, otherwise youll get people being jelous, because they cant be, or have that spark that you have!!!
  • Interesting that you opened with "I'm very attractive". This is the last thing that should matter to your question.
  • perhaps the conversation is about you. Make it about them. And listen well to what they say
  • to put it in a simple way : no mean to offense. when you stop thinking about yourself how you are (putting ego aside) then people will automatically come to you and you will get bunch of friends. just talk to everybody by heart with the thought that you are just one among them and you are not so special. I did not mean to say specifically about you, how you are, but I answered it generally and it applies to every person.
  • Learn some modesty, most people do not care for arrogant people. Sounds like you put yourself on a pedastal. UMMMM that might be it!
  • fine something your good at. Turn it into a hobby. then master it. and then turn it in to a real job. And then become famous. And then people will want to be your friend.
  • You should let other people judge that maybe. Looks are part of the package but a great personality is the key to making good friendships. Being more interested in them and not so much into yourself.
  • Answer 13 from the wiseone is spot on. People are jealous and competitive by nature. A less attractive person will, initially be a difficult friend.
  • just show them ur cool nature... prove them that u dont care about what people think of u...!!!
  • Don't take this the wrong way but after reading your question twice, it might be your attitude. Ask someone who you trust and can ask really tough questions. Ask them if you're really friendly or if you just think you are.
  • You may be trying too hard. "Talkative" is a giveaway. One of the biggest turnoffs to others is a chatterbox. Let other's share the conversation. Just step back, take a deep breath and go with the flow. If people want to hear what you have to say, they will ask.
  • same description of my self. same question, same ordeal. when people meet me, it all kicks off but we just never passed that "yea, lets me up after work stage" wed make plans but nothing ever happens. Me, being the new one, should I make the first move? ive been reading some answers above, and what some of u are saying is that i should take a step back & listen to others first & that people may be put off by highly articulated individuals. But, i see plenty of such, with many friends, so whats the deal!! What am i doing wrong? theres all this 'enthusiasm' when they meet me & after..nada..
  • Well...what does being very attractive have anything to do with it?? I have seen very beautiful people with lots of friends. And I have seen lots of ugly or fat people with lots of friends. I don't know you so I can't really tell you. I don't think people are jealous. Maybe a few people here and there but certainly not enough for you to NOT have any friends. I think you may want to re-think why you don't have any friends??
  • If everyone around you is anything like me, they might think you're a stuck-up asshole. Work on hiding that.
  • If you think people are jealous of you, that's not a good way to make friends. They won't be your friend if your negative thoughts on them show. And whether you try to or not, it usually does show.
  • I'm not going to beat around the bush like a few have. You might want to check that ego.
  • Uhhh, the "I'm thinking people are jealous of me" thing. And maybe compliment other people instead of yourself. And I'm sure that even though you think your attractive, others may think you not very attractive. Attractiveness is just a perception, in my opinion anyway. :)
  • i think you dont understand this person enough..He/She is not saying theyr very attractive and stuff like that because of their attitude..but she/he is just trying to figure out what is wrong why there seems to be no person interesting in his/her friendship. And i think maybe this is right..like when a girl tries to be friends with other girls and she quite pretty..maybe the other girls wont talk to her much because they are sort of jelous. i am not talking about everyone off course..but these things happen and i`ve seen it in front of my own eyes.because Yes, SOME people tend to not talk to you much ecause you`re more pretty then them. All i can say is don`t give up their is a friend out there waiting for you, and you will find that friend soon. It doesnt matter if you have only one friend, like they say, Quality not Quantity. Good Luck :)
  • Just be yourself.
  • hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....er.......i duno everyone needs a friend......
  • I have the same exact question as asked here. I had two very best friends for years, then they started picking fights with me for little things. They admitted they were jealous, and I got that vibe from a lot of people. Someone said mentioning being attractive did not correspond to the question but it does a lot. I am very outgoing and friendly depending on my mood. A lot of people here are saying to " tone it down " that people might get intimidated.". But if I change who I am for friends, who is the winner? not me because I am changing who I really am. Girls get upset when there guys or boyfriends talk about me or get jealous. Its not being stuck up , it is not. Jealousy is not all about looks at all. There is much more to a person, leader ship mind soul and spirit. I am an inspiring psychologist and I did reseach on jealousy stating that someone may be jealous of something that you do not have. It can be from long hair to expensive boots or your confidence. The other person may feel a little down but they shouldnt. everyone is special and can hook themselves up to be amazing. Why, because it is what counts on the inside. I love talking to people. and instead of saying " Oh this weirdo was talking to me" thats being stuck up. Not the person who is friendly and inviting enough to make friends. Trust issues might have to do with this situation as well, you think someone wants something from you, but in fact I enjoy good company and I love how people think and speak. I enjoy accents and talk to people with good style because I am impressed and inspired. I make the conversation about both of us. I am being myspace social and free. I am not saying I am like gorgeous but it is not ego because as I stated before, there must be a reason for people to be "intimiated " or looking at your differently.You shouldnt be though and as egotistic as it sounds it is not. Your the ones saying to change how we are because we might be to out there. Youd rather have a fake person try and fit in with everyone or someone who lives life and is free to be herself? even as a girl, a very attractive girl might get the guy i likes attention and i probably wont bring her around or something. women who are pretty and have friends are probably confident enough to keep them. If you are a guy , this is a bad question for you to answer. its a girl thing.
  • Focus on the other folks, not yourself. Show interest in topics outside your own looks, personality, traits. People are NOT jealous of you. They are avoiding you.
  • I think what the previous people wrote was very hurtful. Jealousy is a horrible thing and i can totally understand where you are coming from. Beauty is a gift but also a fault, in the sense that you get reactions like this. It's easier said then done but carry on being beautiful and yourself, they are only admiring you, wishing they could be how you are.
  • Most people who are very attractive and talkative have no problem making friends at all so there must be something else going on here other than jealousy.
  • I will be your friend , if no other will have you, and even if they will too.
  • Sounds like you are a bit self absorbed. You need to kindle a genuine interest in others, their hobbies, their jobs, their interest, there likes and dislikes and engage them in conversations about these subjects. It sounds that you have very good attributes but maybe you 'know it' too much.
  • I have a simliar situation. I consider myself very friendly and extremely outgoing. I always listen to others and show concern, sometimes I even bring up the idea of hanging out sometime after work, that is of course after talking to them for quite some time. I find myself sitting here without any friends though. I'm not the most attractive person in the room but I don't believe my looks are what holds me back. I don't think I try to hard and I certainly don't think I'm awkward to be around. If I knew how to make friends, I'd tell you but I don't.
  • ...well, if you think everyone is jealous of you...LOL, think again. They prolly think since you are "so attractive"...instead you are ugly inside. And you being talkative, what do you talk of?...yourself? You gotta be humble about your looks, and about you. Drop yourself a level. Beauty comes from within, not from without...and people are no different than you. Nobody is jealous. Infact alot of women think other women are BEAUTIFUL!...and admire their looks. Its about your perspective when you go out. You are equal to all. No better, no worse...equal. If you dont see it that way...well, its not gonna be that way. And thinking you are better, only makes you worse.
  • First of all beauty has nothing to do with friendship. You could be the most gorgeous person and have the worst attitude towards others, which in my opinion makes you look twice as ugly. Number two I don't know if you meant it the way you said it but saying that people are "jealous" of you makes you seem conceited. Maybe that's how you come off to other people and that may be the reason people don't socialize with you. If walk with your nose in the air people get intimidated to talk to you. Nobody wants to be talked down to. If you want to make friends you have to get down to peoples levels. Make them feel comfortable around you and listen to what they are saying. Don't base a conversation all about yourself, but be willing to share every once in awhile. Being in a friendship of any kind is all about making another person happy.
  • a man is judged by the company he keeps. maybe you need better people to hang around with. join a team, a club, or pick up a hobby. and i hate to say it cause i am like you and i am vain. but, it is only cute when you are young teenager and are confident not arrogant. its tough to pull off. after i left high school and went to college i could not just make friends on my looks anymore. i actually had to get a real personality. imagine that but, people value substance over looks when you enter the real world.
  • Let me tell you a personal story. I remember once sitting through an open audition with a director friend of mine. If you think American Idol is bad…oh my…you should have seen this audition. Sure…a couple of the performers were really great. But most were bad. Some were horrible. A few were just weird. That’s all I can say… And the worst thing is…they didn’t know how much they sucked. In fact, the ones that sucked the most usually walked into the room with the most CONFIDENCE. During lunch break, my friend turned to me and said, “I wish I could tell these people how much they suck. I wish I could tell them they need to take LESSONS before walking into an audition room. I feel like I am giving them false hope by keeping a smile on my face. But it’s tough.” In the perfect world, somebody would have told these young actors the truth indirectly…so that they would at least know what to work on. But of course, in the real world, silence is nature’s way of weeding out the weak. The survivors are the ones who admit they suck and work hard on becoming better. But a small population of the people will never get it. These are the people who have chosen to ignore reality and live in their own worlds, where they are constantly frustrated and confused because they are not getting any of the things they feel they are “entitled” to have. Sooner or later, reality will hit these guys and it will really hurt. If they are smart, they will finally “wake up”, recognize their real problem, and do something about it. But if they are really stupid, they will stay in their fantasy world and get hit by reality again and again.
  • Try having a little humility.
  • Even if you do think they're jealous of you, try not to focus too heavily on that thought, or else you will exude an arrogant attitude that will repel these people. Also, you don't have to stop being friendly, but dial back on the effusiveness. Sometimes, people are aversive to someone who's too cheerful, particularly if they themselves are unhappy. Be civil to others, but don't push for friendship. If you hold back a little, people will see you as a mystery and want to get to know you.
  • I like the slogan: "Want a friend? Be a friend."
  • You sound like you have an ego problem. Have you tried not being a douche? Hey I mean you have no friends, it might be worth a shot. Good luck with it.
  • if you want friends win the lottery
  • prob cos you think they're jealous. they might not just like you.
  • Pretend You're not an asshole.
  • A little modesty might help.
  • I have learned.... when you think the rest of the world is not treating you right maybe the problem is... you.
  • May be that you very good personality and people think that you are a proud person.
  • People will always heavily prejudge a more attractive person when he / she walks in a room, thinking they've got it easy blah, blah. Ignore everyone here who has instantly done the same - It is both jealousy and insecurity on their part. Simply acknowledging the fact that you are attractive is not a crime! However, you seem pretty psychologically beat up about it and may be overcompensating by excess friendly overtures, (trying to prove to people you are not up yourself just because your good looking probably). Try to hit a happy medium because it can get misinterpreted as confidence through arrogance because you're hot. Let others take the lead in a group situation a bit and pick up on whatever asset they exhibit and compliment them on it, or even say you are a bit envious, (even if it's a small thing). This levels the playing field a bit. Focus the topic of conversation on those around you, (since you're already a focus of attention physically). It can work well. Good luck.

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