ANSWERS: 16
  • Talk to them and explain the situation. Listen to whatever they have to say. Just be there for them.
  • Counseling is probably the best option. It gives the child someone to voice their fears and frustrations to without concern about what they might think.
  • Family counseling. A counselor is trained and familiar with all the things that go with divorce, they can help you and your children navigate through your feelings.
  • and by all means,counseling ..explain to the children that both parents love them and it is through no fault of the childs that the parents are getting divorce..
  • First and most important is to tell them it had nothing to do with them....that can't be stressed enough to them. They need to be reminded often it was nothing they said or did. If they have trouble dealing with it counseling is the next step.
  • All of the above with this caveat - make sure they know it is okay to love both their parents. Don't make them choose sides. And above all make sure they know that even though mommy and ddady might not love each other anymore, your love for them will not end.
  • Counseling, although a fairly reliable option, might make it more stressful on the already instable child. Some kids become very rebellious in regards to the family that's breaking up and having a third party authority coming to add itself might make it heavier on the child. First, the best is really to try and make it the smoothest on the children, transition, step by step, gradual separation. If from one day to the other the boxes are packed and the other house bought, it really would make it hard on them. Try living not too far from eachother at first. Second, not arguing in front of them (or in the next room obviously) is something that is crucial. They will overhear and they're not stupid. And don't you ever think they are because then they would feel hurt too. Be frank but not blunt. And never blame or criticize the other parent in front of them either. Never make it become a competition over the children of "who will get them more" and "who is the nicest most generous one". That's just useless, bitter and stressful. Third, always check in with the children so that if signs of depression show up, you might be able to help. Divorce is really hard emotionally, financially and technically for the adult, it's easy to forget to think about them for a while and be blinded by all those things. Fourth, inconditional love for them no matter what. From both parties. That'll fix most problems.
  • Find other children who have been through it for them to talk to. Sometimes no one can understand a child better than another one.
  • Like said all the above responses ,talk to them as often as you can & please, please don't ever knock the other parent in front of your children. Please don't make the children bear the burden of the divorce I know it can be hard because one parent is usually still bitter toward the other but please don't burden the child with trying to make it choose sides. This is a time that can be so hard on kids(I know I went through it) & for one reason or another whether its selfish reason like not wanting to pay the other child support & trying to talk teh kid into staying with you by blaming the other parent or because you know that the other parent still loves that child more then anything & you want the child to turn against that parent to hurt them because they hurt you. This is very immature on their part & it torments a child inside & makes them feel insecure about who they are because they still love that parent(sometimes). Kids are smart they will figure things out on their own & if you & your family try to turn your child against the other parent for selfish reasons that child will turn against you... Try to talk to other adults about your problems when the kids aren't around & don't say it loud enough for the kids & their friends to hear & embarrass your child. Unless the child asks, give them the facts not your opinion & if you hear your family trying to do this such as a grandmother trying to cut down your ex spouse stop it immadiately because your child will turn against you & your family( again I know this I went through this) & let your kids know that people change & feelings sometimes change but they don't for their children. That love is locked in stone but sometimes adults grow apart but they still love each other but they aren't 'in love' with each other anymore & can't be happy together. But you will continue to be a family. good luck to you all.
  • they should stop ruining their children's lives
  • Of course they are having trouble. They would not be normal if they were not. This is a major disruption in their lives and they will be wounded. You cannot stop that, but you can ease the pain in several ways: 1) Counseling. 2) Reassurance of your love and that this was your decision and not their fault. 3) Visible cooperation between the two of you. Be civil, respectful, and friendly with each other in their presence and never criticize the other in their presence. 4) Keep your scheduled visits, be punctual, and give them some extra time. Good luck.
  • they should put the childrens feelings ahead of theirs - and act like adults - if any arguing is to be done it should be where the children cant hear it
  • Parents should become friends, it makes it easier for everyone, the trick is to inform the kids that it won't lead to a re-marriage.
  • Not fight over custody in front of them like mine did. It tears you up and you end up resenting them.
  • I would find a psychologist to help out during this difficult time, they will help make the transition alot more mentally healthy for your children.
  • Make sure they know that you are not divorcing because of them and even if you aren't together you bothwill always love them.

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