ANSWERS: 56
  • While on a camping trip I was sexually abused by a worker there for the duration of the trip. I was young and really confused on what was going on. I did'nt tell mom N dad because I was more scared about what would happen to me. Then and today I'm fine. Pschologically ok and about as happy as I can get.
  • I don't think you can 'not be affected by it' however you can certainly still be a strong and happy person. It depends on how the person comes to terms with what happened. Who did the abuse and what exactly it was also plays a big part. For example: it's much harder to come to terms with losing your virginity to your step-dad at 8 than an older neighborhood kid playing gyno doctor at the same age. I'm sure you can see the scarring would be much worse for the former. There may be a scar but you can heal.
  • One way or another, abuse will affect you. It will be with you through your life, to some extent. The main difference is how you cope with that trauma. That doesn't mean you have to come out for the worst. Many people who have been sexually abused to come out strong and happy.
  • I came out of it strong and happy but getting there wasn't easy.
  • you'll always have that scar...
  • You'll always remember but that could be a great thing because you'll never take any chances with your kids being harmed. You'll know the evil that some people don't know & YES, you can be strong & successful
  • you will be affected no matter what. but it does not have to be for the worse. what you do with it. the help you get. who you put around you. all these factors make a difference in the out come. the real hump the one somepeople never reach is forgiving
  • I'm strong and happy but it took me a long time to get there. It's a hard process, but it can be done. As far as not being affected by it - some people desesitize themself from what happened and block it out, but other then that, I don't see how one COULDN'T be affected by it.
  • If the child does not get help when young after sexual abuse it will show up later in life. People who choose to try to stuff it all inside will one day get knocked for a loop in later years. Sexual abuse to a child is horrifying and needs to be dealt with. Even if the child seems to have gotten over it..they have not and they will suffer in later years.
  • heck no! my life was permanently damaged and my brain got seriously messed up from what happened!
  • There have been alot of long time effects of being sexually abused as a child.. but I DO beleive that the child can overcome it and grow up to be a mature, normal adult. Thats what I am aiming for, and so far, it has been going really well for me. If people keep this attitude towards sexually abused children.. they will begin to feel that being a normal kid will NOT be an option. They need encouragement. ~+~
  • I had a friend that was sexually abused.. she rose above it and carried on. Im sure it had lasting affects on her but she just wrote it off as it not defining her for the rest of her life. So I guess it depends on the person.... IMHO the person that does the crime should be killed on the spot.
  • Any type of abuse will affect you. You can't change that. You can, however, decide to what extent it will affect you. Once you're an adult, you're responsible for your own actions. It would be a pity for us to live our lives blaming others for fear or unwillingness to move on.
  • If you live through that kind of abuse, there is no way to not be affected. It stays with you for the rest of your life. You can get past the more drastic effects given time and the proper resources, but there will always be the scar from it.
  • i was sexually abused as a child. it no longer bothers me, it effected my confidence growing up but aside from that im a very level headed mentally healthy person and i dont let that part of my past get to me at all
  • It's a myth that ALL victims are devestated. Some are and they make the news and create the image. Most pedophiles never go beyond fondling, and one single incident usually does no more than to scare the child. And I think some victims are just not hurt. Most problems in life seem to form a pyramid pattern where the majority is minor and only a minority of the cases are severe. It will be that minority that the media will obsess over.
  • Life is about choices. Once you reach the age where you can choose who you want to be, what came before will only affect you if you choose to let it affect you. I chose to be who I am, and put all that behind me. The scars are there, but I chose to no longer dwell in the fact that I have them. And I didn't get counseling. To this day, nobody knows it ever happened. I have a great husband, three kids, and live a happy, full life. Because I chose to.
  • i was sexually abused for 3 years and I am only 16 and i got the dude who did it but he was only in jail for 3 years and now he is out roaming the streets again. For me i didnt get much counceling at all and i have a boyfriend now but it is really hard for me to open up sexually but I do get haunted by what happens but i am trying to move on.
  • Some people REFUSE to be the victim forever... maybe for a little while, but it doesn't have to be forever i don't believe that it doesn't affect you in some way, and a lot of people say that if someone was abused during childhood they will most likely end up abusing.... NOT TRUE my hubby had things done to him that aren't even discribable... and he is the BEST father in the world. I think that the person abused will be affected.... but they CAN HEAL IF THEY WANT TO...... THERE IS HOPE!!!!!!!! Always remember to SMILE and you can be anything if you want to, but only if you want to
  • You have to be strong, to get to happy. Some people go for years and then all of a sudden, the past hits you between the eyes! You can't run, you can't hide from what's happened. You stand, you fight for your life. The life someone took from you as a child! And it's worth every minute you hang onto your right to be who you were born to be!
  • I think you can. In the end I think it has a lot to do with the person's "wiring". lots of people go through abuse of different kinds as kids, and they turn out just fine. Some tend to emulate what happened to them and for others they tend to go the opposite way. As history has shown, even some people that have perfectly normal, great childhoods can also turn into abusers, or molestors or even serial killers. I think the odds of becoming a bad person are increased when you go through abuse as a child but it does not dictate what you will become.
  • I don't believe a person can be "not affected by it", but I certainly believe the child can be strong and happy. I am a big advocate of psychological counseling for sex abuse victims of any age, but particularly for children. My mom experienced incestuous sex abuse from age 4 to age 17; she is very affected by it, most of her parenting decisions were affected by the knowledge of sex abuse. She is affected by it still, but she has learned how to use the experience as a means to positive ends. So yes, I believe a person can be happy and strong despite (or because of) sex abuse, but I don't think it happens by itself. If you are, or know, someone who has experienced this and they want help dealing with it, contact the local chapter of United Way; they can get you in touch with a Sexual Assault Program (SAP) coordinator. If you don't have a United Way in your area, you can go to any Planned Parenthood clinic or even your local doctor's office/hospital and receive information about abuse counseling.
  • Sometimes, not always. I was 13 when it started to me, 16 when it stopped, by that time, 8 men had abused me and they all got away with it. I'm still really pissed off about them getting away with it and want to belt the living snot out of them when I see them from time to time, But I am somewhat happier now then I was after it was all over.
  • It will affect them. It doesn't have to be negatively, but they will be affected. They might grow up to be a childrens advocate, or they could end up being addicted to drugs or alcohol to drown the pain. It depends on the person, and the therapy recieved.
  • you can't be compleatly unafected. its always in the back of your mind when you interact with other people, but you can turn it into an asset. It can make you a stronger person, make you able to deal with things that others who weren't abused wouldn't be able to deal with.
  • from the Time I was 5 years old until I was 17 years old I was Sexually Abused in my Home.. I grew up depressed, I was scared of everything in my Life.. I didnt know how to have Friends, and It completely Killed any Trust I should have had in Adults, I felt I couldnt trust anyone.. it has taken me many Pain filled years.. fighting Depression, Raising 2 Children.. 2 failed Marriages..when I was 43 years old.. I felt like I had only one more chance to try and make a Life for Myself..I also hated myself, and everything I was !!.. The one thing I did.. is the One thing that Pulled me from the depression, Self Hate.. and completely stopped me from living life as a Victim.... I Forgave my Perpitrators.. The act of Forgiveness is the one and only thing that freed my Heart, Mind and Soul from all of the crap I had lived with for years and years... I did not face my Perpitrators and Forgive them.. I Forgave them through Christ.. I Immediately felt this Huge Weight lifting from my Heart, my Mind and my Whole Body.. Today I am a completely Different Person.. Full of Life, Happy, Energetic, very Loving, trusting.. and I have Raised 2 Beautiful, strong, Mentally and Physically Healthy Children.. Did I make Mistakes Raising my Children? Yes I sure did.. who Doesnt !! I have corrected my Mistakes, Confessed to and have been upfront with my kids.. about everything !! Life can and should be Beautiful, Fulfilling and Happy.. Mine sure is .. since that day I Forgave.. Hope this Helps :)
  • This is a really good post. I know you all can move on towards satisfactory lifes, just face the symptoms and the root of them, acknowledging them as a part of who you are now. Good luck!
  • Many turn out to be just fine. I know people who endured terrible things and you would never know, they are normal, healthy adults. The choice is up to the individual, I really believe that. This does not mean no pain is experienced. Of course there is. But the people I know are loving, generous and have moved beyond their past that they had no control over to a better future. Because of them I know there is always a brighter day.
  • It depends on the child's and the abuser's ages as well as the circumstances under which the abuse took place; a very young child who was repeatedly penetrated by a grown up will most likely experience trauma as he/she ages, but a teen or pre-teen that had gentle sex, even if under abusive circumstances, might survive and go on to have a normal life.
  • There are people who are strong enough to hide the damage deep inside and lead relatively normal lives at least when seen from the surface. But, every child victimized suffers. Some are very good at hiding it.
  • you can come out of it strong but one day you will have to deal with proply i was groomed and then sexually abuse by someone i called dad and i came out of it strong but i still have a couple rough nights every so often and the little things can trigger your memories of i blanked alot of what happened out and im still remembering stuff i tried to forget but now im gonna see a counseller xx
  • The mind is very resilient. It is a horrible trauma for someone to suffer through and wrong for someone to think they are not doing something that affects a person in so many detrimental ways. Like any horrible trauma a person can go on to live a happy life but to think they aren't affected, well I just don't see that as quite possible. We are the sum of all our life experiences both good and bad.
  • No it isn't. Get some help, talk it through. You will be surprised at how easier you will feel sharing with someone that is qualified.
  • Not be affected? No. Everyone is affected by everything that happens. Strong and happy? That's an individual thing. There can be no general answer.
  • You mention that your daughter is still on medication and in counselling. That is her way of coping. The statistics are that 1 out of 3 girls are sexually abused in one way or another. 1 out of 4 for boys. So,obviously there are a lot of "survivors" out there who live "normal" lives. A child innocently trusts an adult and then learns that adult is only going to hurt them. The dynamics of an abusive situation is very psychological, from the moment the abuser picks out the victim. So what do you think about being affected by it? Put yourself in a child's place and imagine what they are going through. It's not just physical...the body heals...the mind doesn't forget. I'd suggest you read some books on child development and maybe you will understand. I'm not saying that everyone comes out "for the worse"--I am saying innocent children should not have to go through it. ---Yes there are a lot of survivors out there.....
  • everyones affected by it it how you handle it move forward and yes they can be strong and happy iam
  • it will affect you in small ways. thing s you don't know about. your trust wll be broken and it comes in many forms
  • the child has the ability to still come out strong and happy, AFTER lots of therapy. it takes a lot to get through the trauma of being violated in that way. i think, even if for the most part you never think of it, even years after the case, if can still show itself. it never completely goes away.
  • Everyone is affected in some way but you don't have to let it override everything else. There are plenty of people that rise above it and are very happy people. And there are others that seem to make it the reason for every bad thing that happens to them and their excuse for failing.
  • Absolutely, it could easily be beneficial. 'Everyone' tends to think such things about the subject because it has become somewhat of a social 'taboo' of late. One of those things where you need to be absolutely disgusted automatically to be politically correct.
  • Child abuse is so harmful to anyone and it leaves the child scared my husband was abused and still is healing emotionally from that. I have seen noone come thru without needing help. Its unnatural for this to happen in the first place so it will affect that child emotionally. There is a website we are involved in a group that is spreading thur out the U.S. and Costa Rica too. Theo-Phostic prayer ministry. We are and have been thru alot of healing in our life. Its a great place for anyone even a child to start.
  • The answer to your question is yes, a person can emerge from that situation stronger for it and can be happy.
  • No it happened so it has to have an effect other wise responsibility does not exist. I know the child is not at fault but do they know it? I mean really know it. Ihave never expected the worse for me because of the abuse. I was sexually abused as a child and so was my sister. I can not speak for her but I know that trust is now going to be something the people involved with the child are going to now have to deserve and earn. They are going to need therapy and so will the imediate family so they can understand what it will now take for the child and themselves move forward. You get the help that is needed and strong and happy will be a fact of the child's life and the rest of the family. One more thing guilt does not look good on the victim and it twist the truth and blame goes into anger. You will all need to be strong and and keep the good self belief you all should have in yourselves.
  • Well for a long time I said I can be ok, but later I realized that was not true I do not do that to people but I am easy to get in bed and that I think is one of the effects of being abused.
  • Some few children seem to thrive even under abuse. The literature calls them "Super Kids."
  • OF COURSE!!one can come up not only strong enough to overcome it but can turn that negative thoughts and hurt into a positive enrgy ..its like this listen: I'm walking on the road and suddenly something hit me badly and i fall.i've got wounded and broke my knee,it almost smashed..now if there is a race or long walking its impossible to walk again long distances (I COULD SAY THAT ALL MY LIFE BECAUSE ONCE MY KNEE WAS BROKEN,SO I KEEP ON JUSTIFYING MYSELF BY BEING LAZY,and not doing many activities,because of the broken knee once)THIS IS THE EASIEST WAY AND MOST OF THE PEOEPLE DO SO ,and keep on justifying their actions,BECAUSE OF THE big hurt once.but also many have STRONG WILL,and CHALLANGE and make EFFORT.I know that my knee was broken,but I KEEP ON EXERCISING ON IT,MAKE IT STRONGER AS THE OTHER LEG AND I DON'T LET IT STOP ME FROM PARTICIPATING IN A RACE AND EVEN BECOMING THE FIRST.this is what makes differnce between peopel,that POWER OF THEIR WILL,HOPE,EFFORT..SO THE CHILD NOT ONLY CAN BE STRONG AND HAPPY BUT CAN BECOME VERY SPECIAL TOO..ITS ALL IN OUR HANDS..surrender,justification and consequently more negative results..OR strong will,believe in our inner strength and hope
  • To answer your question- it is possible-in the end to be strong and happy- I was both molested and later in life raped-I was very affected by this-for a long time-trusting and getting close to people was a big problem for me-To get to the place of where I am right now-was a long road- I dealt with how I felt- in stages and levels- it was a process-Even though it did affect me- I chose not to allow this to control me- or my life-I have learned in life- that I can't change what has happened in my past- but I can change how I feel-though it was a painful process- I can now tell you- that I am a woman- that has learned to live-and I smile and I laugh-and I enjoy this gift called life-it is a choice not to allow these things to continue affecting you-lot's of prayers- being honest with myself- and healing-were a mixture of that process-my past does not control my future-I now have a brighter future- because of my past-it did not break me- it made me into who I am today-stronger and happier- and joyful then before- All things are possible-if you believe!!!
  • well i was silent about it until i was about 20 something. it hurt me alot on so many levels ..however i got over it ..in the end i started doing charity work to help ppl who were abused jsut like me. so yes i believe i am stronger that it happened to me becuz it let me know how terrible it feels and that u can get over it and still be able to help others who are going through it by giving them hope from being a survivor.
  • It depends on how much and what else he or she has been through.As for me I hate people that do that to kids and is about the only thing that sets me off now days!
  • I was actually a victim of sexual abuse as a child. I was sexually molested and raped by my mother's ex-husband. They were married at the time. I think you can recover from sexual abuse as a child and turn out fine. I came out fine in the end of it all and am actually a great person today. I think it just depends on how you choose to cope with it.
  • You will be affected by it in some way, but sometimes in the end you can be strong and happy, it just takes work.
  • I have read a pyschology book which says it is possible. However the word possible is appropriate. I do not know what the best circumstances are for increasing that possibility to being probable.
  • The child can definitely be strong and happy. Everyone is different and the abuse issue is very serious. However, getting hysterical about it and making it the chief issue on a child's life does more harm than good oftentimes. We are not our wounds. You are not an abused child, or even a child, or even this body for that matter. To me you are a soul on the path of discovery. Good for your attitude. Keep it up.
  • Possible...yes that is the working word here. I will say that individual will need alot of better examples to reflect on. However,should that individual encounter uncountable disheartening situations the positive will certainly ebb away. I am certainly saying good can overcome bad. I am also saying renewing the mind can be challenging when all you see is bad around you. When a person overcomes this for the better they could become hope for others in a simular situation.
  • yea i beleive so . if he wanted to be happy , and hes willing to do what it takes to be happy then yea .

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