ANSWERS: 4
  • When I was pregnant, my boyfriend at the time was over protective and we didn't go out separately where I would be traveling alone. I'm not sure of your relationship, but can you uber or use lift next time? Could you avoid situations where if you boyfriend was delayed, you would be traveling alone since you're pregnant?
    • Sunnylion
      I thought about it but I didn't want to have to spend an unnecessary amount of money to catch an uber all the way home (as I live quite far from where we had drinks) and I house is only a ten minute walk from the station so i thought I would've been relatively okay. Even though I'm pregnant my partner doesn't seem concerned with much I do, my mum is constantly worried. I'm not sure why he doesn't see it as important 😔
    • Black Mystique
      Well, I hope his attitude changes once the baby comes.
  • You don't give us an age group to consider, but I have to think your boyfriend (and yourself) are young. I don't want to sound like your father ... but are you really sure about the father of your child ? It sounds to me like his priorities are in the wrong place, and this will not bode well for you & the child in the future. I think you have some soul searching to do, and I wish you luck.
    • Sunnylion
      Hello, thankyou for your comment! We are 25 and 28. For the most part, he is a great partner. I am just not sure if this is something I should be concerned about or whether I'm just overreacting :(
    • Ice man
      You're very welcome and I think you have every right to be concerned.
  • You bet you have a right to be upset! Does not matter what age he is. Yes, you probably were worrying more than was warranted. Generally speaking, 99 times out of 100 in those situations, you are safe. Not the point!! First, it only takes that 1 in 100 chance for bad things to happen. His indifference to the safety of his gf - and his baby - is beneath contempt. Second, your bfd's selfishness is staggering. Even if he was thinking, "Eh, she's going to be fine," the mark of a gentleman and of someone who loves you is the consideration he gives to your feelings, regardless if he thinks those feelings are well founded or not. In this case, he prioritized his desire for sleep over your feelings and that bespeaks where his head and his heart are at. Sorry - strong message to follow. My gf and I have lived together for ten years and have three children together. Forget that hearing that kind of alarm in my gfd's voice would set off every male protective instinct you can imagine. My gf and my kids are my whole world and I cannot imagine showing that kind of indifference to them. You know how I know? Because my gf was in almost exactly the same situation one time. She was pregnant with our second child and called me scared to death. My first thought was that the guy was probably harmless, but in my case I stayed on the line till she got to her car. She started at a Metro station, but I stayed with her from the station, through the whole subway ride and for the walk to her car. (That was 45 minutes on the phone.) All the way, I kept saying, "It's okay honey. I'm sure he doesn't mean any harm. Don't worry, I won't leave you. Just stay on the line." All I cared about was keeping her calm and keeping her safe - even though I was pretty sure that she was in no danger. (Not 100% sure, however. That's part of the point - you only have to be wrong once.) What did your lemming of a bf care about? His beauty rest. Being a single mother would not be easy, but you should drop this loser. The handwriting is on the wall for what your future will look like and it won't be one of putting you and his child first. I am sorry to be so blunt, but I can't ever - EVER - imagine myself reacting the way he did. At the very least, if you tell him you want him out of your life and your baby's, maybe it will knock some sense into him. Even then, beware! That kind of selfishness almost never goes away. Give him some time away - richly deserved - and if he asks to be back into your life, after a bit, forgive him. However, show zero tolerance. If he starts that kind of stuff again - throw him out. Now, in fairness, if you do that, make sure that his bad behavior does not become an excuse for your own. Always be sure to be considerate and understanding. (In the case I mentioned above, when my gf got home, she was still shaking but she kept repeating that she was sorry and she knew she was being silly. I just held her and told her you can't help what you feel and all I cared was that she was safe. THAT'S how people who love each other treat each other.) Anyhow, from now on, your bf needs to be on his best behavior. It's what every man should do for those he loves. He won't always succeed - no one is perfect - but he needs to try and you don't miss the close calls where those you love are scared or maybe at risk. At the moment, you are stuck with a 13 year old masquerading as an adult. I wish you all the best. I hope this works out for you. In all sincerity, congratulations on the baby. (I was so happy when my gf told me she was pregnant - all three times.) Unfortunately, from the sound of it, though, you already have one baby and the only thing we can be sure of is that he likes his sleep.
  • From my point of view, based upon the information you have given, he is unreliable as well as unconcerned - about you or your child. Sounds like a sort of fair-weather father which means he is a father and concerned when he feels like being but otherwise he is single and unattached. And believe me when your child is born it will be the same - he will be a father when it suits HIS schedule and inclinations. He doesn't provide a home for you but depends on I guess your mother to do it for him. Does he contribute anything at all to your financial well being? Would guess this is not the first "bad sign" you have had. From your point of view sounds like you continue calling him because you just desperately want more contact with him, which is natural, but sounds as if you are just clutching at whatever straws he condescends to give you. If you are timid why would you be making that kind of trek alone? And if he knows you are home with your mother every late at night I would guess he just assumes you are safe so feels no need to call. All of which may be "normal" in your neighborhood but not at all the way I grew up or would want or expect a man to be.

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