ANSWERS: 4
  • Amazing you've been dating for 4 years and this has just come up! The easy answer is have her get on birth control. Then there is no danger. Unless she WANTS to get pregnant which means you have a different problem altogether.
  • It feels better to most of us without a condom. Also please understand that on a very primal evolutionary level, whether we admit it or not, we desire to become pregnant. So if that is not anything you want then use the condom or some other method or have her use something.
  • Nope. Doesn't work that way. If you put it in, she will want it more and you will want it more. Nature will eventually takes its course, and oddly, the risk of pregnancy actually makes it more likely that you will keep going. As one of the other commentators noted, there is a natural instinctive but unconscious desire to become pregnant in women - and even in men to get a woman pregnant, though that instinct works in a different way. (A man's instinct is to impregnate as many women as he can. That's how the species has lasted this long.) You just have to decide what you want. I once got a girl pregnant, and it did not end well. (I'll save you the whole story.) On the other hand, my gf and I have been together for ten years and have three children together - the first two were unplanned - and I am the happiest man alive. So there are no assurances here. Though I would add this, if you are worried that your refusal to have sex without a condom may cause your gf to break up with you, then I would say that is not a relationship on the most solid foundation. I can speak from experience - you don't want to raise a baby with two unhappy parents. As to abortion, the first girl I mentioned had one. I never felt more like a failure in my life. Believe me, you don't want to get her pregnant and then have her get an abortion. It will hurt you in ways you can't begin to imagine. So it comes down to this. Decide if becoming a father is an option. If not, then tell her that if she does not want you to use a condom, then it really is up to her get on the pill or get a diaphragm or pursue some other option. Of course, you'll be depending on her in that case since you'll probably have no way of knowing. If she wants to get pregnant - and she might - then she may tell you that she is on the pill when she is not. I don't mean here to question your gf character, but that instinct to become pregnant is quite powerful and you need to go in eyes wide open. At the very least, it sounds like you both need to talk some things over.
  • Get down on your knees, thank God and get stuck in.

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