ANSWERS: 84
  • Yes and No. They shape our entire platform as children so in that sense, yes they lay the ground work. Our enviornment also influences us. Then we have choices to make. How we handle situations determines much of how we turn out as well. Don't forget about genetic predisposition also. Regardless parents come by their faults honestly, they were once children also that had imperfect parents, etc. They are to blame but not in the sense that we are the victims.
  • kinda.. whether i admit it or not.. they are the most influencial people around me...
  • Parents are part of the environment that shapes who you become. Often it seems people with the greatest hurts turn out to be some of societies phenomenons...some extremely gifted while others are extremely troubled. Ultimately the decision to escape your reality is dependent on you the child. Crazy huh?
  • Sorry i didnt mean to answer my own question i was posting a comment sorry for the missunderstanding
  • Blame or Credit? They are a factor in your development, but ultimately you create yourself, or search for other sources to explain your condition in life.
  • When you become an adult, you are 50% responsible for the way you are. Your parents might have done some awful things to you as a child, but an adult CAN make changes- get counselling, move away, put boundaries on the parents.
  • I wouldn't say blame as much responsible for how their children turn out. A parent shapes a child's virtues, introduces them to life, and is supposed to morph them to most prepare them for the outside world, A parent has everything to do with how a child turns out.
  • Hi, As a general rule. If you sit down with a counselor and start blaming your parents for your problems you usually wont find the counselor agreeing with you. that is viewed as an excuse for not attempting to solve your probs.
  • not in my case,as far back as i can remember,i have been independent and rebellious.i always had to learn the hard way ,i never accepted anyones advice untill i had checked every thing out myself.
  • i think they are responsible for how we turn out as very young adults but at some point we all have to take responsibility for our own lives and the way we react and respond to the things that come our way.
  • Yes at least mine are i think it all a matter of the way they treat you .
  • No...you inheret morals and beliefs from parents but if you turn out to be a drug addict...thats a choice YOU made....not your parents...;)
  • I know a guy who has the greatest parents, really nice folks. He was brought up in a good home, got a college education, had a decent job and then he decided to meet a 14 year old girl for some sex and ended up becoming a criminal. He made this wrong choice and it had nothing to do with his parents.
  • Half is their fault, half is the kid's fault.
  • They have some of the responsibility but, ultimately, we control how we are.
  • Children have said so for many years now but parents have denied it. there seems to be a standoff between the generations. there is nothing new under the sun!
  • Nurture over nature does not always happen. Some of the best parents in the world have children that are totally out of control.
  • In alot of ways I would say yes, but when you become an adult you are responsible for how you act and your motives. I don't believe that you can blame those negatives on your parents any longer. You basically have to try to be thankful for who you are now, and walk in positeveness. It can tend to be hard, but it is very possible.
  • Parents are a huge factor in the way children grow up and what kind of adults they turn out to be. As parents, we should set good examples and ACT responsible, BE responsible. The problem is younger people are now becoming parents and they aren't adult enough to take on that responsibility. A 17 or 18 year old, boy or girl, has no clue about life and what comes at you. How on earth are they going to raise their children when they are kids themselves?! Children remember and mimic what they see and hear. Yes...parents are responsible for a lot of their children's learning and behavior.
  • No I think the government is.That and meddling people that think a smack on the butt is abuse.
  • yes. I don't believe in nature at all. It's all nurture. It's the parents and everyone who ever interacts with you during your journey through life who shape who you turn out to be. I blame mostly my parents and my 4th through through 9th grade experiences for who I am now.
  • No parents are not to blame all they can do is to guive the good examples in life and show them the way the kid makes the last call
  • They can be a factor even a large factor but everyone makes their own choices.
  • I think more of it has to do with bad choices than bad parenting.
  • I think our parents taught us the values in life and what is right and wrong and than it is our choice to do what we think is right for us.
  • No..I think I am the adult I became despite my parents
  • no, its all ur fault. time to quit blaming mom and dad
  • Well, I think I turned out fairly well, and I think my parents should get some credit for that obviously. So it's a curious thing to wonder if I'd turned out badly, would I blame them ? I think in extreme situations, where the parents are clearly unfit, that it can really affect a child. But not having been there myself, I can't say whether or not it would affect then in the long-term, as an adult. I know of some people that are just, for lack of a better term, total douche bags. And I somehow seriously doubt it had much to do with how they were raised. But I'd be willing to wager that they'd happily blame their parents, because we live in an age of "it's not my fault." Just once I'd like to see someone go on Oprah, and say "My mom was great, my dad was great, I'm just an assh*le !" But that will never happen, because taking credit for your actions is not something we all want to do when we mess up badly.
  • Naw, a-huyck.... I'm kidding. No, not really. If your parents are hobos, does that make you a hobo? Well kinda, but if you study hard then you can become a good scientist or something... They should help though.
  • I don't think blame is the right word. I think your parents are your initial frame of reference in your life, and definitely have influence on you. But, ultimately, the way you turn out as an adult is a result of your own choices.
  • i think it's 1/2 and 1/2. there is a point in growing up when you start to make your own decisions, and you cannot blame other people for them.
  • nah ...it was the sex'n'drugs'n'rock'n'roll
  • You can show them the road .. but they must walk it .
  • I took responsibility for my own life a long time ago, there is only so much you can blame on your parents and then you have to move on.
  • Its easy to blame the parents! But only in some cases is it true. Theirs an old saying, "u can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink".
  • No. In most cases they did their best. At some point, we are responsible for ourselves.
  • Parents certainly influence what we're like as adults. But we're also influenced by our experiences, friends, and the environment.
  • i think they have a big influence yes
  • Not totally. They set an example and are a big influence. However, there is so many other influences from society and friends that parents can't control. They can only try their best to steer their children down the right path. So many children don't want to follow the advice of their parents, then later in life they realise their parents were right about more things than wrong.
  • I have my own brain to use for my own choices in life.
  • I think if there is abuse involved then yes. Otherwise a child isn't a copy of your teachings. They take what they want and make it the rest as they go. Just like most of us did.
  • In my case my parents were very strict, I rebelled when I got to 16, but I still lived at home and I was just wanting so freedom, I guess in my case I could blame my mother in a way, but there comes a time when you need to stop the blame and take responsibilty for your own actions.
  • Of course..they are the main influence in your life as a child. However, no matter what, there are just some bad eggs. Yes I said that.
  • No. Ultimately, the choices we make are our own responsibility. I have known people from horrible families/parents that turned out fine. I've known people from wonderful families/parents that are complete animals. We are what we make ourselves to be despite the influence of others we have choices,
  • up to a point, yes.
  • NOPE. Because when you are an adult and even before then people are capable of learning what behaviors they have that are not serving them and how to change them. Whether they do it on their own or with the help of others.
  • Absolutely not. You grow and learn and you make your own choices so your parents can only be held accountable until you are able to make decisions on your own.
  • Well you make it sound negative. But blame is well I don't know seems like the wrong word. Your parents give you a foundation to grow on. So what you do after that is your responcibility. So I guess the answer to your question is no.
  • No, our parents do there best to raise us to be good adults and we are the ones who make that decision to be a good or bad person. On the other hand, it is proven that abusive parents were abused children, but that doesn't always happen. I think that the person is the one who makes the decision about what kind of person they are going to be. Their parents should not be blamed for what choices they make.
  • To a point, parents are responsible for the way their children turn out, but at some point in their adult lives, regardless of whether they have had a good or a bad childhood, people need to stand up and take responsibility for their own actions and lives. At 30 and 40 years old if you are still doing things that you know are not right, most of the time it is not because of your parents. there is a time to grow up, that is why it is called adulthood.
  • Parents deffinetly have an impact on their children but they arre not always to blame. Your parents could be terrible people who are always on drugs but the child could turn out fine.
  • No. A real adult knows how to take on responsibilities.
  • Parents can't control how you'll turn out. Parents can't control anything. A child can go one of two ways-either keep the morals and things they were taught, or rebel.
  • well. In a word... yes and no. lol! I think that there are fundamental morals, values, and principles that are put in place as a young child. I mean, if you were raised to sell your parents food stamps for crack, it's not as easy to turn 18 and suddenly become a responsible adult as it is for someone who wasn't raised that way. But at the same time, there is personal responsiblity that comes into play. First and foremost, though, I don't believe that we can say one way or another based on our OWN experiences when we haven't walked a mile in another person's footsteps. It bothers me to hear a person say "Well I did it..." without taking into the account how a person is raised. Ok.. I am off my soapbox. :)
  • Not ultimately, no. I think your parents influence your first thoughts and opinions. I think parental abuse gives you issues that you have to deal with to overcome. So, I think that as an adult, you are responsible for doing what you need to do to turn out to be the person that you want to be.
  • I think your parent have an environmental as well as a biological influence on how you turn out. However once you are old enough to take emotional responsibility for yourself it is strictly up to you whether you sink or swim.
  • There are many factors in how you turn out. Genetics, school, the media, your friends, the things you watch and read. At a certain point you are responsible for exposing yourself to harmful influences - the things your read and watch, the people you hang out with. Parents have a role certainly but one of the most influential things they do is select the school you go to.
  • Not entirely. But they have a huge impact on who you turn out o be.
  • To a very limited degree. We are all born with certain genetic predispositions to a limited range of behaviors in each personality dimension. For example, on the "love/hate" dimension, our genetic inheritance may predispose us further toward the "love" side. But our parents, by the way they nurture us, may urge us either toward or away from the "love" side.
  • Your environment is to be blamed or praised for the way you turn out as an adult; if your parents are (or were) a part of your environment then the answer is yes! they are as much to blame or praise as are all other aspects of your environment.
  • I believe they have instilled some things in us, right or wrong... but ultimately when we grow up, we all know the difference between right and wrong and should have full responsibility on how our lives turn out. We can then make those decisions and the way we lean toward... ends up being our own blame or reward.
  • Since our pre-verbal responses (what are called "feelings" or "emotions")are developed before we learn to speak and stay with us throughout our lives for the most part, yes, I believe our parents are largely responsible for our development up to that point and beyond. As far as the subject of "blaming" goes, that is an entirely different matter. Blaming is placing responsibility for ones actions on something or someone outside of oneself. It is essentially taking the role of a victim, and abdicating any sense of control or responsibility for ones actions, behaviour, choices, or results. Although I certainly believe parents undeniably affect how we develop (a fact many parents absolve themselves of from the moment a child is born), and have an impact on us throughout our lives, I do not believe the tactic of "blaming" them is actually honest. In most cases, it is simply a way some people have learned to explain their irresposibility and bad behavior away so they can continue it. Even if one is aware that their behavior is because of something in their past, a responsible person claims the behavior as their own.
  • Yes, I did once upon a time. And then I slowly occurred to me, that they *too* were the result of their parents who in turn were the product of their parents who were in turn and on and on.. potentially infinitum.. and it nearly made my head implode .... so I decided to forego the whole blame thing. As much for reasons of futility as those of maturity.
  • Parents can instill good in you and hope for the best. The rest is up to the individual. No.. I dont think they can be wholly to blame for how their children turn out. We as individuals make our own decisions.
  • To some extent but there are external forces outside of thier control that they can't prevent.
  • Parents do influence how your life is but they are not to blame for any mistakes that you make in your life.
  • I think they contribute but once you are an adult it is your choice how you behave.
  • No, but supportive parents can take someone a long way as far as self esteem and good decision making. People with low self esteem tend to blame others more for their issues.
  • Only my mother is to blame. She's a fine woman.
  • yes in my case parents are to blame,when my parents split up at ten always fighing and rowing all my schooling been rein,always in trouble in school,never seem to settle down at nothing,came a complete faillure at everthing.had a horribe mother saying horribe things at me,i never wanted you,your father rein her life,i was to young and selfish to get married and have kids.took her anger at poor me,said the marriage was hell on earth,never loved my father,dont believe her.my father hated girls should never be born,mother told me,if i had been a boy would of stopped at one,my brother the youngest very spolit selfish brat,got everthing he wanted,his life turned out all rosy,really nasty person as well.i was very unlucky to have two parents both bad and selfish.how can a mother use one child against the other,to do with money.im a white ball mixed in with black balls,dont work,dont talk to me about families can really screw you in the head,i hate people that have bad childhoods,go on have kids of their own,do the same to their kids.should break the chain,but they dont,mess their life up as well,thats what happened to me,to selish parents,dont care what people say oldest child gets a harder life,more pressure to do well,if your the oldest i feel sorry for you. always better to be the middle or youngest.anybody else out their had bad experiences with family.some people are born into shit families,expect outside world to be nasty and horrible,not family as well,double wammy how unlucky is that,not good life of bloody hell and back. dealt with a bad hand in life,some people are lucky dont go through nothing bad,born lucky. not fair who said life was,only for bad people,they always do well.with the world today,recession on how can anyboby have a great life,unless you are rich.
  • in a way kids grow up feeling and becoming what they are suronded by and if the parents are a bad influnce there is a chnce that the kid will become what he is surronded by.
  • I think good morals and values, discipline, in a decent homelife have a lot to do with how a child's formation..... do u know what a sociopath is? it is a person who is the victim of their upbringing.....and I know a few who knew nothing else other than the life they were raised up in.... psychologists cannot prove it because it is psychological but as far as some of these problems go, they strongly believe now that their upbringing has a major part.....
  • Partially, yes. But you are still responsible for your actions as an adult.
  • That's a tough question. No - they teach me right, I didn't listen + circumstances in my life turned out a lot different (bad) than anyone had hoped for so.. I blame only myself, even when maybe I shouldn't.
  • YES AND I THANK THEM FOR IT.
  • In most cases, but not all. Some people are just bad seeds.
  • Not unless they abused or neglected you.
  • only if you were raised in a false religion.
  • Nope, though the did have a hand in making me the happy, well adjusted and compassionate person I am today. Blame is a negative word for me and I did not find my upbringing negative.
  • Really depends, some parents were just babes themselves guessing while raising you. unless you were abused or something I believe you are the one to blame for however you turned out. There is good and bad in everyone- I'd say the parents along with you are to blame.
  • to some degree, but once you reach the age of reasoning you can't blame it on your parents, you know better or you should know better.
  • I give my parents the thanks, not the blame, for me turning the way that I did. In general, I think that most kids are molded, for better or worse, by their parents.

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