ANSWERS: 32
  • I am a step child, it was very hard at first and we didn't see eye to eye on anything (I was older when my mom and him got together) and where unable to be in the same room mostly because I guess I didn't like having this new athoritative figure in my life. Now that I have been on my own for 7 years we have come to terms with disagreements and I have finally realized that he treats my mother very well.
  • I am a step child and i don't always get along with my step mom but i still love her.
  • I have three step-kids. They have been apart of my life for 11 years now and yes we have loads of problems and have from the beginning.My 16 year old step son lives with us and I am ready to kill him lately lol but I think it is just a 16 year old thing not a step son thing. Don't get me wrong I love them and would risk my life for them just like they were my own.
  • I have 8 kids, 4 from my 1st marriage and 4 from my 2nd. Although i only married my 2nd husband when the kids were 9-13 which is quite old, they treat their step-dad as a their real dad. Their stepdad has no other kids other the 4 he had with me. Their real father is out of their life so they happily turn to him for a fatherly figure.
  • I am a step-daughter to 2 wonderful parents. As far as I am concerned, they are as much a part of my family as my Mom and Dad. I have been blessed with 4 parents, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
  • I have one step-father and two step sisters and there are no problems amongst us.
  • I have a step-mother and a step-father, have good relationship with both now, but when I was younger not so good. I now have a soon to be step-daughter of my own. She's 15, so I guess that sums it up. She doesn't live with us, and I love her, but she has quite a few problems. Too many to count. Sometimes, time is the only solution.
  • I am a step-mom to two and have three biological with their father we all live together. i love them very much and have been a part of their lives since they were small they love me and i feel it everyday.
  • My father remarried in February, so it hasn't been long, but it's rough. His wife has 3 adult children who are all screw-ups. One started to head in the right direction recently, though. I am in graduate school and they are all intimidated by me, his wife included. They think I think I am better than they are. It's a crazy mess, but as long as my dad is happy...
  • I am a stepmother of one wonderful young lady who is now 29. She came to live with us when she was 14, and moved out when she was 18. We had some trouble with normal teenage angst, but nothing major. My son absolutely worshipped the ground she walked on - he's 8 years younger. She picked out my engagement ring with her father, and was my maid of honor at our wedding. She and I are very close, and share a whole lot of interests. I think she talks to me more than her father! I'm very grateful that it has all worked out so well. Our family is indeed blessed.
  • I am 27 yrs. old and a soon-to-be (I'm engaged) step mother to four girls. Two are 17 and 18 and live elsewhere with their mother, and there aren't really any issues with them. The younger two are 10 and 12 and also live with their mom about 10 mins. down the road. They spend every other Fri-Sun with us, sometimes more. We got along very well for the first 6 months or so and I still get along great with the 12 year old. But now that we are getting married and expecting (my first) a child together, the 10 year old is acting out terribly. I try to be understanding of her feelings, but she takes every opportunity (when he leaves the room) to make me miserable. She has even started to get physical. His solution is for me to call him in the room everytime she acts up and report to him on her. Which isn't working very well. At this point, I'm trying to not be in the same room with her when he's not there. I really miss the relationship that we used to have, and I think she misses it too, she's just too stubborn to admit it and no matter how much I talk to her about it, she keeps it up. Hoping this will get better soon.
  • I have 3 step-children and 4 grown children of my own. Of course we have our problems, what family doesn't. Yes there are added "issues" with blended families, but it's not that bad. The biggest issue I see in our family is "parenting styles". My ideas are way different then my wifes. I am more strict where she is more lenient. I am old fashioned in believing that children should respect their elders and get upset at her boys being rude, disrespectful or disobedient. I also am a firm believer in curfews, especially when it comes to her 17 year old daughter. At 14, the daughter was allowed to stay out with her friends til 1 or 2 AM, now it is no issue (with mom)for her to stay out all night. But those issues are common with all families and not just blended families. Step-parenting I feel is made more difficult in families that portray the step-parent or step-sibling as an outsider and not accepting them as an equal part of the family unit as a whole.
  • Yes, I am a step-parent. Yes, there are problems.
  • I am a Step-Father to a 15 year old girl. Her and her mom came to live with me when she was 8 years old:) She thinks of me and calls me STEP-DAD and sometimes calls me her DAD:) No problems; in the beginning there were as she was learning to adjust to me and living with me and her mom:) Now it is okay:)
  • When I married my current Hubby, my oldest son was 12 years old, but he considers this Dad as "his" dad, and visa versa. My two sons usually forget they are "step" and our family is as one.
  • Step-father of grown (low-mid 20s) children. Step-son was not happy about his parents' divorce, his mother's moving 3 hours away, and her and her ex marrying others. The girls have no problem with us.
  • that is inspiration to me...my step father and i hardly speak and we still live in the same home...i hate makin my mother feel caught in the middle and it often causes more conflict...when i tell her how i feel she says to stop making myself a victim i wont give him a chance to be a good dad ( i fgure they have been together for 7years and 3 kids if he doesnt have it by now he wont get it) everything he says to or about me condesending or a complaint...he never acknowledges the fact that overall im a good kid. im tired of feeling unwanted in my own home what should i do?
  • I had a Stepfather, he was a nice man when he was not drinking. He was a bout alchoholic
  • I am a step parent to three children, and there are problems in every family ... Including mine.
  • Some STEP-PARENTS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is just my opinion and years of exprience with my lovely step-mom. I am not saying all step parents are bad. Some can be good. okay my experience...... It doenst matter how nice they try to be at first, they are just not your real family. And they start to treat you that way after a while. I have a horrible step mother. If you have one of these type step parents ask them if they ever use their broom for acutally sweeping the floor.
  • I am going to be a step-child in September. My dad is getting married to Linda, and I couldnt be happier. It will be a bit tough, since planning this wedding seems to bring back far too many memories of my moms death. But I dont think my dad could have found a sweeter lady to fall in love with.
  • I have a 16 year old step son...HE hated me in the begining...As he did all his fathers ex girlfriends. HE tried hard to drive me away..My own mother asked him if he wishes it was just him and his dad again, when he answered yes, he gae me this evil stare. I emediately snapped and said "well it aint never going to fucking happen, so dont count on it" I think he got the point after that. pLUS his father started telling him he had to respect and listen to me at the home, since he would ignore me when I would ask to clean his messes or take out the trash. I think it was a lack of respect from his father also that fired that because his father would always take his sons side in front of him, saying I hated him when i REALLY didnt. Now he listens when I tell him something he knows im head of the house. Andwe even get along. HE tells me thing sometimes he cant tell his dad like school problems and stuff and we actually joke sometimes, he seems like a totally different child than a year ago. Hope it stays this way, almost did give up because of him!
  • I am the step mother to 3 boys. They are 21, 17 and 12 years of age and I am 30. Their father is 10 years older than me and we have been together for 9 years. The age gap wasn't a big deal at first but is a little strange at times now that they are older. Blending the families together in the beginning was VERY difficult and I did not always get along with my step children. They were not always very respectful and there were many power struggles. I also have two boys from a previous marriage that are 10 and 14. Their relationship with my husband has also been rocky at times. Over the years we have all grown to love and respect each other deeply and are a pretty tight knit family now.
  • I was a step child and now am a step mother. There are a lot of problems being a step mother when the bio-mother seems very threatened by my presence so she has been brainwashing the step-child for the past 11 years and I am treated disrespectfully, to put it mildly, by the step-child.
  • I was a step-child. I left home several times (when I was younger). He kicked me out at 14 and told me not to come home without a job. He was terribly jealous of the way my Mom loved her 2 boys. And, when he drank, you didn't want to be around. He did quit drinking before I left home for the final time, but it didn't get much better. Even after I was grown, married, and with my own children, we always had to play "games" around him just to get along.
  • Yes, A step daughter and it was such a hard time growing up . But its all great now that I am an adult. Almost liked something worked out good for me. Its not easy on both ends im sure.
  • Me and my step dad dont get along all that well we tollerate each other for mums sake I think.
  • my father passed away when i was 10, my mom married my brothers father when i was 18, he is my step-father but a lot of times i still refer to him as my moms boyfriend its been almost 4 years and i still do that i love him soo much but i do not like using the term 'father' at all, even when i talk to my father i say "your dad" is it wrong to refer to someone i love as "mom's husband"??
  • LIVING IN STEP-FAMILIES: PRE-MARITAL EXPECTATIONS Before any couple "ties the knot" they should talk about what they expect from each other and from their marriage. When the marriage will create a step-family, this is especially important. People considering marriage often have different ideas of what they expect from each other. Discussing expectations prior to taking that big step will help a couple set realistic goals and make realistic commitments to each other. This guide, designed specifically for prospective step-families, will aid you and your children in discussing ideas and making plans for a satisfying family life. Creating a successful step-family environment can have many rewards for its members, but it requires more than love and good intentions. Flexibility, commitment and realistic expectations will all contribute to a successful step-family. Developing realistic expectations involves understanding and accepting the ways a stepfamily structure differs from that of a first-time family. An understanding of these differences will help create a satisfying marital relationship and family life. A remarriage occurs only after a marriage ends, either through death or divorce, and dreams of marrying and living "happily ever after" have been shattered. Because of this, parents and children often must deal with feelings of sadness, anger, hurt and disillusionment. These feelings must be overcome before children and adults can trust and have faith in new relationships. Also, because the parent-child bond originated before the new couple's relationship, stepparents join a family that already has loyalties, traditions, and roles established. Stepparents sometimes feel like outsiders. Children in step-families have had to cope with the partial or complete loss of a parental relationship. There is a biological parent, in memory or in actuality, who is still important to the child, and who will have an influence on the new step-family. Children remember "how my mom did it when she was alive," or that "Dad always lets me stay up late at his house." Because children may spend time in two different households with different rules and expectations, they need to learn how to make smooth transitions. They may experience loyalty conflicts not realizing you can love two people (e.g., father and stepfather) in the same role. They may need to learn how to deal with the differences in values and lifestyles between the two homes. Another structural difference must be considered before forming a step-family. A newly married couple usually has time to get to know one another gradually and make marital adjustments before adding a child with the accompanying new roles and responsibilities of parenthood. With remarriage, one is a new spouse and a parent or step-parent from the start. Because of this added complexity, it is especially important to discuss expectations and make plans for the transitions involved. Such planning has the potential of reducing stress for the couple and their children. Despite the complexities, (and sometimes because of them), a healthy step-family can provide many rewards and satisfactions for step-family members. For adults, remarriage can provide a new opportunity to develop a satisfying intimate relationship. For children who have witnessed the failure of their biological parents' relationship through divorce or have experienced the pain of a parent's death, witnessing their parent's satisfying remarried relationship can renew their faith in close interpersonal relationships. PRE-MARITAL DISCUSSION QUESTIONS Personal Goals and Expectations Jobs Household Arrangements Financial Matters Children Relationships With Others Communication Sexual Expectations UNDERSTANDING YOUR ANSWERS Personal Goals and Expectations Jobs Household Arrangements Financial Matters Children Relationships With Others Communication Sexual Expectations THE CHILDREN References Currier, Cecile (1982). Learning to Step Together : A Course for Step- family Adults, Step-family Association of America, Inc., 28 Allegheny Ave., Suite 1307, Baltimore, MD 21204 Coleman, M. and Ganong, L. (1987). An evaluation of the step-family self-help literature for children and adolescents. Family Relations, 36 (1), 64-65. Mills, David M . (1984). A mode l for step-family development. Family Relations, 33, 365-372 Visher, Emily & Visher, John (198 2). How to Win as a Step-family, new York: December Books Email me at George_McCasland@yahoo.com to receive the full document.
  • i am a step-daughter, and me and my step-mom had problem when they first got together. she has never had kids, and didn't really now how to handle us. we both have done alot of work over the years trying to get along and cut each other some slack, and we get along fine now
  • I wrote this about my own stepfather. http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20050619 LIVING IN STEP-FAMILIES: PRE-MARITAL EXPECTATIONS Before any couple "ties the knot" they should talk about what they expect from each other and from their marriage. When the marriage will create a step-family, this is especially important. People considering marriage often have different ideas of what they expect from each other. Discussing expectations prior to taking that big step will help a couple set realistic goals and make realistic commitments to each other. This guide, designed specifically for prospective step-families, will aid you and your children in discussing ideas and making plans for a satisfying family life. Creating a successful step-family environment can have many rewards for its members, but it requires more than love and good intentions. Flexibility, commitment and realistic expectations will all contribute to a successful step-family. Developing realistic expectations involves understanding and accepting the ways a stepfamily structure differs from that of a first-time family. An understanding of these differences will help create a satisfying marital relationship and family life. A remarriage occurs only after a marriage ends, either through death or divorce, and dreams of marrying and living "happily ever after" have been shattered. Because of this, parents and children often must deal with feelings of sadness, anger, hurt and disillusionment. These feelings must be overcome before children and adults can trust and have faith in new relationships. Also, because the parent-child bond originated before the new couple's relationship, stepparents join a family that already has loyalties, traditions, and roles established. Stepparents sometimes feel like outsiders. Children in step-families have had to cope with the partial or complete loss of a parental relationship. There is a biological parent, in memory or in actuality, who is still important to the child, and who will have an influence on the new step-family. Children remember "how my mom did it when she was alive," or that "Dad always lets me stay up late at his house." Because children may spend time in two different households with different rules and expectations, they need to learn how to make smooth transitions. They may experience loyalty conflicts not realizing you can love two people (e.g., father and stepfather) in the same role. They may need to learn how to deal with the differences in values and lifestyles between the two homes. Another structural difference must be considered before forming a step-family. A newly married couple usually has time to get to know one another gradually and make marital adjustments before adding a child with the accompanying new roles and responsibilities of parenthood. With remarriage, one is a new spouse and a parent or step-parent from the start. Because of this added complexity, it is especially important to discuss expectations and make plans for the transitions involved. Such planning has the potential of reducing stress for the couple and their children. Despite the complexities, (and sometimes because of them), a healthy step-family can provide many rewards and satisfactions for step-family members. For adults, remarriage can provide a new opportunity to develop a satisfying intimate relationship. For children who have witnessed the failure of their biological parents' relationship through divorce or have experienced the pain of a parent's death, witnessing their parent's satisfying remarried relationship can renew their faith in close interpersonal relationships. PRE-MARITAL DISCUSSION QUESTIONS Personal Goals and Expectations Jobs Household Arrangements Financial Matters Children Relationships With Others Communication Sexual Expectations UNDERSTANDING YOUR ANSWERS Personal Goals and Expectations Jobs Household Arrangements Financial Matters Children Relationships With Others Communication Sexual Expectations THE CHILDREN References Currier, Cecile (1982). Learning to Step Together : A Course for Step- family Adults, Step-family Association of America, Inc., 28 Allegheny Ave., Suite 1307, Baltimore, MD 21204 Coleman, M. and Ganong, L. (1987). An evaluation of the step-family self-help literature for children and adolescents. Family Relations, 36 (1), 64-65. Mills, David M . (1984). A mode l for step-family development. Family Relations, 33, 365-372 Visher, Emily & Visher, John (198 2). How to Win as a Step-family, new York: December Books Email me at George_McCasland@yahoo.com to receive the full document.
  • im 17 with a step mother we have ALOT of problems! She is two faced to me tries to take my dad away, which she always wins at! She has a daughter of 4 and gets jelous because the family have a nickname for me and not her so she sat round all day trying to think of one??? Who does that! Just accept it already! She's uuuur just horrible i'd change her anyday!!!!!!

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