ANSWERS: 100
  • I guess it would be... God exists and he loves you very much!
  • Bless you
  • Thank God you're here! LOL
  • I am not sure if an atheist can be insulted more than a religious person can. I am not offended if someone says "Bless you" or tells me God loves me- I would just think that they mean well. What I find hard though is people who judge me just because I am an atheist and do not even want to listen or try to understand. Some people think atheists hate religious people and that is not the case. I do like freedom of religion, but I also like freedom of speech- and religions need to be scrutinised and open for criticism just like anything else. As long as things are fairly discussed, then there's not need for anyone to be offended.
  • "My belief in my god is so important to me, I am going to make you die for it..."
  • You're right.
  • "Are you SURE"? "Do you have any proof"? It gets old....
  • Here is a list: Go to nowhere! You must study Creation 'Science' We are closed on Sundays. God says you can't!
  • From a Christian- Bravo! Excellent insight. (I was actually trying to post a comment to answer 3, not answer the main question. I hit the wrong button. Sorry!) See the Beginner next to me bigger than life? Duh!
  • "Jesus loves you and so do I"
  • After the death of the atheist, "Hi, I'm Jesus. And, I'd like you to answer a few questions for My Father and me."
  • God is watching you!?
  • God loves you
  • As lightning shines from the east to the west, so shall the coming of the son of man be...........Whoa !!! Here He comes now....!
  • Don't look now, but I think Jesus maybe standing behind you.
  • A Christian once said to me: "You know dude, Jesus really does love you so you had better start worshipping him.....otherwise he's going to send you to burn in hell"!
  • God knows...
  • trust god and you will be ok!
  • Don't do this! You'll go to hell!
  • It makes me smile when Christians say, "I know God exists.....because of my faith".
  • JESUS SAVES!
  • after sneezing....god bless you.
  • Here's one I've gotten recently.. "don't be sad - he's in heaven now!" I know you mean well, but.. NOT COMFORTING
  • Something religious that's meant to be comforting re: death of a loved one. It doesn't help, it makes you feel churny when someone says "You will be okay because of God"... if God's the only thing keeping me okay and I don't think God exists, then that's a horrible thing to say to me, like "You may as well give in! It's all hopeless!" And hearing "He's with God now" or whatever can be angering if it feels like that's distracting you from mourning properly
  • Maybe one would be "I don't know how someone in their right mind could not see evidence of God all around us"... Or maybe "you should believe just in case, so you can go to heaven" Or "the bible says... "
  • "If you really understood my religion, you wouldn't be an atheist." This annoys me because it assumes I haven't made a well-considered decision and just grabbed onto atheism because I didn't know any better.
  • Can you spare a minute of your time so we can tell you how much Jesus loves you!
  • Why are you so angry at God?
  • That atheists have no moral, do not give to the poor and do nothing for society. That atheism is a fundamental religion and evolution is a atheist hoax by scientists get rid of religion, to sell books and preserve their jobs and research fundings. That Hitler was an atheist and atheists want to exterminate religion, even through violence. I've read much more of this ignorant stuff, but it still annoys me, because it makes atheists look like loose cannons, while most atheists I know are very humane people that wouldn't even kill a fly.
  • Jesus Loves You.
  • Jesus Loves You, but I don't !!!
  • You were wrong.
  • No plans for Easter I guess, how about working for Johnson?
  • Go worship something. I don't find it really that offensive though.
  • <Voice from Heaven> Boy, did you get it wrong! Back of the queue for you!
  • "I don't need facts, I have faith" Thats what pisses me off. Because saying stuff like that is like saying "I dont need proof that your hair is red, because i have faith that is is green" As an atheist, im not offended by anything related to religion, because its all a joke. You: "Your going to hell" Me: "Haha, Ok." You: "God is real!" Me: "Proove it!" You: "There is proof!!" Me: "No there isn't. Show me 1 shred of legitamate evidence"
  • Where's ya Ouija Board duuuuuuuude....
  • You're brother is going to be a priest. I think that could get to them. Or your child wishes to be christain.
  • "Jesus died for your sins." No he didn't.
  • "Stop being so dogmatic!" ; )
  • Your best friend is Christian. Or, someone has forced you to become Christian.
  • "I think you are a person of great faith." Atheists believe the entire wonderful universe came into being all by itself from the smallest subatomic particle to the most immense galaxy and from the amazing complexity of the human mind to the love between a mother and child. I find it much easier to believe that an all powerful and all loving God is behind it all. I do not have enough faith to be an Atheist. With love in Christ.
  • I guess it would be "You're right...there is no GOD". I think most atheist's (deep, deep down) hope they are wrong in their belief.
  • Youve been Deceived. I was once you,till I met him.Now I can't Forget him. Whether or not you beleive in him, he beleives in you. There will come a day when you can't deny him,or want to. It's ok you don't beleive,I beleive enough for both of us.
  • "F***K You" --- After all an Atheist is just like everybody else is.
  • Everyone that doesn't believe in God goes to hell. [NOT TRUE]
  • "You make Baby Jesus cry".
  • so far the worst thing i've gotten is somewhere along the lines of "your evil and you eat kittens for breakfast" (picture me rolling on the ground laughing after that)
  • There are a few things I can think of. For example: "Hi! I'm (insert name here) would you like a brochure on God?" (Door knockers) Or sometimes: "Rhia! Go and get your blessing" (I go to a Catholic school which is unfortunate for me - especially during our masses)
  • Dunno but St Peter saying "Who's laughing now buddy?" would be pretty bad... ;)
  • "I hope your dead body rots into soil which gets eaten by a tree and so you turn into a tree and it gets cut down and they print the bible on it." Dane Cook.
  • "God be with you" ?
  • This response is coined by Dane Cook: When you die, nothing happens. Your body becomes one with the earth and eventually you will become a ficus or an oak tree. I hope that one day a bear-like lumberjack comes to the forest where you grew with a mighty ax and cuts you down. After your chopped down and smashed into paper, your then printed on a Bible. This is probably the worst thing you could say to an atheist, well unless you count "God Bless you" after they sneeze.
  • you have no pourpse
  • For me it's "I'm going to pray for you", I really hate that.
  • if they sneeze and someone says God bless you!
  • Why did the atheist cross the road? He thought there might be a street on the other side, but he wouldn’t believe it until he tested his hypothesis. Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird. A minister, a priest, a rabbi, and an atheist meet in a bar at 10:00 a.m. The bartender asks the minister what he’ll have, and the minister orders a martini. The priest also orders a martini, as does the rabbi. When the bartender asks the atheist what he wants, the atheist says he'd like a cup of coffee. “Why aren’t you having a martini like those guys?” asks the bartender. “Oh,” says the atheist, “I don’t believe in martinis before lunch.” Why does an atheist wear red suspenders? To keep his pants from being taken up to heaven during the rapture. A Jew, A Catholic, and an atheist are rowing in Lake Erie when their boat springs a huge leak. The Jew looks skyward, and says “Oh, Adonai, if you save me, I promise I’ll sail to Israel and spend the rest of my days trying to reclaim the land you gave us.” The Catholic looks skyward, and says, “Oh, Jesus, if you save me, I promise I’ll fly to the Vatican and spend the rest of my days singing your praises.” The atheist says, “Oh, guys, if you pass me that one life preserver, I promise I’ll swim to Cleveland.” “And how will you spend the rest of your days?” the Jew and the Catholic ask. “Well,” says the atheist, “I’m not sure, but I can tell you one thing: I’ll never go rowing with other atheists.” How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it. An atheist goes to a Christian psychiatrist, who hands her an inkblot and says, “Tell me what you see.” The atheist says, “I see Jesus on the cross.” The psychiatrist hands her a second inkblot, and says, “Now tell me what you see.” The atheist says, “I still see Jesus on the cross.” The psychiatrist hands her a third inkblot, and says, “What do you see now?” The atheist says, “It’s Jesus on the cross again.” The psychiatrist says, “Hmmm. Obviously you’ve got Jesus on the brain.” The atheist replies, “Me? I only read the captions you wrote.” Atheist: What’s this fly doing in my soup? Waiter: Praying. Atheist: Very funny. I can’t eat this. Take it back. Waiter: You see? The fly’s prayers were answered. How can you tell if an atheist lives in your refrigerator? You find a copy of The God Delusion hidden in the cream cheese. An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.” Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, “Can you believe the way this guy tastes?” Knock, knock. Who’s there? God. Who? God. Who? God. Must be the wind.
  • oh, you poor thing.
  • You have bad breath. (or to a true-believer)
  • "get thee behind me , Satan"
  • Silence. Simply refusing to talk to you can hurt more than any insult.
  • nothing is any worse the *you will burn for eternity in the lake of fire, but God will show you mercy if you repent and give yourself to him* yup, that sums it up!
  • i'd say "idon't love you anymore,or worse i just don't care." and just as with anyone else its the most harsh and crushing thing a loved one can say. hi slavey!
  • Every atheist is different. The worst thing you couls say to ME would be that I was a bad father -- but it would only matter to me if you were someone whose opinion I respected.
  • I hate it when people say, "God bless you," and stuff to that affect, but we're all different, so...
  • Rom 9:17 For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. Atheist's are raised up by God.
  • I would like to get a hold of the person who said that atheists eat babies! That has got to be the most inhumane expression I have ever heard! and if a christian said it,. and coined the phrase, well, that doesn't say very much for that particular christian, as far as being ''christ-like, which you all are so very convinced you are most of the time!
  • Have you ever taken the time to realise atheism(sp) is pretty much a religeon. They'd go crazy XD
  • "Do you believe this?". The atheists do not have the concept of belief.
  • I cant stand people trying to shove their religion down my throat. People preaching at me drives me nuts.
  • them- we are here to spread the love of christ. Me-oh *bleep!* me
  • And I so hoped that you were going to be pope some day.
  • Go to hell.
  • I just plowed my hummer into your new miata
  • This one: "YOU HATE JESUS!" Gets me everytime.
  • ''I've been waiting to meet you. I'm God and you were wrong.''
  • I will not give you a cup of coffee.
  • "I hate you." Goes against everything a Christian is taught. And it goes against the nature of God.
  • To tell them that they are damned to hell if they don't believe as you do. Kind of like an Authority figure coming down on you at school..I've heard people tell children such things. It must put fear in their hearts.
  • "Oh...so you're JACOB's dad -- he just joined our church!"
  • "There are no Atheists in foxholes" when the truth is on my (captioned by moi) image "There is no God in foxholes" .
  • The Catholics are all wrong, and the other Protestant sects are all wrong, but mine is right and so they're all going to hell, along with the millions of members of other religions, and so are you.
  • I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you.
  • For them? "Take a second look at everything."
  • Your family will be persecuted and killed for your non-belief. Or at least that's the worst thing you could say to me about my non-beleif....
  • I don't believe in you.:) No offense to all Atheists. Most of whom I think have a sense of humor. This was a joke. I have nothing against atheists.
  • The worst thing you can say to an anthiest is "you are absolutely right".
  • There really isn't anything that anyone could say to me that would bother me just because I was an atheist.
  • "Die in the name of (insert deity here)!" Of course, it's bad when they can actually hurt you, otherwise it's either sad, funny or both.
  • "Doesn't it bother you that you're going to Hell?!" A statement that is currently in the running for Least Thought Out Question of the Year. "I'll pray for you" is pretty irritating too.
  • "Your mother!"
  • hahaha OMG ! GOOD ONE
  • I'll pray for you.
  • It's all been said to me but my biggest pet peeve is probably the one about not having morals
  • Read the bible with me and let's pray. Praise jesus
  • I hate being called "lost" or "confused" because it implies i will eventually "see the light" or something. Those are the kind of Christians who cant comprehend that i believe differently than them.
  • Jesus Always Wants To Go First! A crowd was about to stone a prostitute when suddenly Jesus appeared and proclaimed, "Let He who is without sin cast the first stone!" An angry voice from the crowd replied, "Jesus Christ! You always want to go first!" sorry lol I just thought this was funny
  • God loves you
  • "The votes are in, and the Constitution has been amended: The United States of America is now officially a Christian nation." That's scary, because sometimes it seems like we're heading that way. -or- "I bet you'll change your mind on your deathbed and cry out to the Lord." Man, that's insulting and condescending. It's not like I'm going to be wanting such a smug religious chauvinist anywhere near my deathbed to prove them wrong. It's such an inappropriate thing to say, and they seem to have no clue.
  • that when they die 'and become a tree' that you hope some christian lumberjack chops him down, sends him to the paper mill, and they print the bible on him. im non religious. this just seems ironic, and hilarity ensues.

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