ANSWERS: 67
  • You're not just mean, but it would be better if after throwing your fit, you also helped him to deal with his emotions more appropriately. He needs to learn how to work through them without throwing fits.
  • If it works then use it
  • I have layed in the isle of a store and pounded my fists and kicked my feet just like my son was doing at the time. He saw how stupid I looked and must have figured he looked just as stupid since he never did it again... in public anyways.
  • I think it depends on what he is throwing a fit about. If he has just got a strop on then I don't see any harm, but finish with a smile to let him know you're not being too serious. Too serious could stress out a small child. If it's something more serious than a strop, it's important to find out what the problem is. And be aware that you throwing your fit might look like you are making fun of him.
  • I'd have to say that, yes, it is a bit mean! Put yourself in his place -- most 3-year olds have tantrums because they don't know how to process their emotions any other way. When you son is having a fit he likely wants to be taken seriously and is looking to you for help. Your job is to help him make sense of his emotions and to find more mature ways to dealing with frustration/fatigue/hunger/whatever.... When you throw a fit back at him you minimize the validity of his emotions.
  • The more you continue to throw fits at him, the more he will continue to throw fits. Try ignoring him and see his reactions. Maybe this is his way of getting your attention. Thank goodness it's fits you throwing back at him and not fist lol.
  • Excellent modeling of appropriate behavior! It's been proven over and over again that children of that age learn primarily by imitating the adults in their lives. If you maintained your calm and treated him respectfully, he just might get some crazy idea in his head that it's that kind of behavior that people are expected to display. *shudder*
  • It would be much better to take him and put him in his room until he decides to stop. With all respect, throwing a fit yourself is rather childish. If you are in a public place, then you should leave. It's a pain, but it's part of being a parent.
  • Noi don't do that. I have a 3 year old and he throwsfits too. Maybe I need to do that tohim.
  • he probably stops because he is surprised. by throwing one back you're teaching him that throwing a fit is acceptable.
  • My best friend and I would do the same thing. It definately worked on the older kids, too. They would see how ridiculous I looked and would stop. Also they were so entranced with this big adult flopping on the groung wailing that they forgot all about their fit. I even got some to laugh.
  • i don't know about anyone else who does this (and am not a parent myself). i have to admit it find the concept kind of humorous, but i don't know that it's a good idea...
  • just ignore him. however difficult this may be, just ignore him. leave the room (but make sure you still know what he is doing). Don't spank him, and don't yell at him, since he is still developing things that can affect him the rest of his life, but if you ignore him when he is being bad. He will be good to get your attention. By throwing a tantrum, you are rationalizing his behaviour.
  • I think that it's a great way to catch their attention - my theory is that is shows them how crazy they look. I use the same theory w/my daughter, especially when she starts crying for no reason (she's 18 months, but acts more two...). I scrunch up my face and start fake crying, with the loud sounds and everything. She gets so startled by it she does stop crying to laugh at me. And, another great thing about it is, since I started this she doesn't cry as much unless there's a good reason for it. The only time I don't do it, of course, is in a very public setting (grocery store, restaurant, etc) - those are the situations where I put on my mean face and use the "mom voice" with her.
  • i sort of do that when my neice/ nephew throwws a fit i annocue it to the world
  • You are not being mean. You are mirroring their behavior so that they can see what they are doing from another perspective. With some children it is a very effective technique. For the parents who are too embarrassed to try this, the child learns that the parent will give in if they embarrass the parent enough.
  • nope. but i think a more mature way to handle it is to stick him in time out until he manages to control himself.
  • I did that once...he was so shocked that he forgot all about HIS tantrum. I did not do it again because I did not want him to get the idea that this was acceptable behavior. But from then on, when he would begin a tantrum he would stop and see if I was going to throw one as well. His continued for a little while but he never quite put as much "heart" into them. And he finally saw that they were not getting him what he wanted so he quit.
  • I am around 3 yearolds every day, I work in a daycare. When they throw tantrums, I tell them that they can be mad all they want, and that I don't care. We can talk when they calm down. It usually works, seeing as they've gotten used to the fact that we do talk about it afterwards. 3 yearolds are not to young to know that they can't just throw a fit to get their way.
  • RELAX...we all do it...no you are not mean.
  • Personally, i feel that this is not good. Not only would you look silly doing so but also, it is going to show him that if mum does it then it is ok for me to do it.
  • No, you're not being mean. They have to learn not to throw fits whenever they can't have what they want.
  • I have used a similar method when Kitt and I were watching our 3 year old nephew, while his parents were at work. When he would start to cry, for whatever reason, as long as he was not hurt, I would just look at him and go "waaah waaah waaah". After the first couple of times, he never continued crying, but rather started smiling and laughing, even saying "waaah waaah waaah" himself! You are not mean. You are just using his own weapon against him!
  • As a teacher of children with behavior issues I can tell you that 3 year olds do not have the cognitive ability to reason, their brains just aren't developed enough for this higher order thinking. Children at this age learn through cause and effect. It is much better and longer lasting if you simply leave the public place, put the child in their room or ignore. The one thing you should never do under any circumstances is verbally engage the child. Remember even negative reinforcement is reinforcement. Remember it is up to you as a parent to model the behaviors you feel are important to the development of a productive adult.
  • Nah... You're not mean... IMMATURE, but not mean.
  • You're a role model for your son. If you keep mimicing him, he will keep throwing fits. The only time a behaviour changes is when there are consequences to that behavior. 3 minutes on the naughty rug.
  • Check out the video 1-2-3 Magic. I use it all the time with parents.
  • you are not mean for this and I know one pediatrician that says this is what you are supposed to do. Google "the happiest toddler on the block".
  • When your son throws a tantrum, he should be disciplined for it. If you believe in spankings, then threaten a spanking if he doesnt clear it up in 5 seconds... and count out loud 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. If he is better, praise him for calming down. If he is still tantruming, follow through with your threat. If you do not believe in corporal punishment, then find another VERY EFFECTIVE and very immediate alternative punishment. If time out is not effective.... then don't use it. Or make it more difficult, like instead of being sent to his room, make him sit in the corner, etc. Getting up from time out b4 being told is a big no no and inflict further discipline for doing so. Tantrums should not be tolerated and are easily nipped in the bud if you stick to your guns and follow through with disciplinary actions for such behavior. Always praise your child when he is displaying appropriate behaviors and encourage him to talk to you about what's bothering him. Whatever the reason for the tantrum, by all means DO NOT EVER GIVE IN! If they didn't work for him, he wouldn't use it! The child must learn to communicate through words and also to accept that no means no. In all, it's important that the child learns appropriate behaviors and it's up to you to teach him, otherwise he's only following his own instincts and tantruming is what he has learned is an effective communication tool. I certainly would advise AGAINST tantruming back at him. It makes light of something that should be taken seriously and it's displaying wrong behavior, regardless of your intentions.
  • If it FEELS mean to you, then maybe there is a better approach. I don't think you're wanting to be mean at all...you're questioning this because you want to do the best for your son. That deserves recognition. Way to go, mom! When my child starts pitching fits, crying or whining (she's 3, after all) if it isn't something that needs to be addressed I tell her to go cry in her room and come see me when she's done. It cuts the fit, crying, or whining down to a minimum because she wants to be with mommy.
  • I do that with my 2 year old girl. When she sees I can do it for longer then her, she will give up (eventually).
  • I think it's a great idea. There's an ad on tv at the moment where the mother does that to her son who's about to throw a fit in the shopping centre, it's great!
  • Your child is just trying to express himself. His dialog isn't as matured as an adult and I'm sure this is frustrating for them. Try to use words to understand what is bothering him and it will encourage the child to do the same!=)
  • I think your 3 year old son should count very slowly from 1 to 50.
  • No you are not being mean but you are showing him that it is okay to throw a fit, instead the moment he starts a fit pick him up and put him in time out for one minute per year of age, in his case 3 minutes. Another thing you can try is to just walk away and show that you are not impressed by his actions.Make sure he can't hurt himself.
  • LOL I used to do that when my daughter was a baby and wouldn't quit crying, but she was too young to know what I was doing. I think once in a while it's relatively harmless, but I think there's probably a better solution in the long run. Then again, if your choices are to throw him out the window or have a fit back at him, then by all means, have a fit :)
  • I would lay low, hes only three! I would find maybe a new method that works. He might get into the habbit of picking fights, and he might soon think its funny. He wont really take you seriously.
  • You're not mean...creative, but not mean. You're just showing your kid in a way he can understand that such behavior is not acceptible. Tantrum away, man. :-)
  • I have a 3 year old and she throws fits too. Usually I will ignore them but sometimes it harde because she will follow me around just to let me now that she is mad at me. So usually I end up screaming at her because she just won't stop and then sometimes I put her in the corner for 3 minutes and then she know I mean what said. She doesn't like the corner. So that's what I do. I hope this helps you.
  • Just close them in a small empty room and ignore them for an hour. Then come in and throw a fit after they are all done with theirs for as long as you can keep it up in the same tiny room and leave for another hour.
  • I'd say some kids definitely need to see to believe. For some kids, in some situations I'd say it's a great tool. Like if they want a cookie before dinner and throw a huge tantrum because you say no. But if you're doing it when they are throwing a tantrum because they're tired, hungry, are forced to wait in a long line, have been out running errands with you all day, it's not really fair to them because those are valid feelings. They just have to learn how to express them correctly.
  • When my son throws a tantrum, we just ignore him for a few minutes while we go about our business. Kids usually do it for attention or to get there way, so if you ignore them each time, they seem to realize that throwing a fit isn't getting them anywhere. It seems to work in our case anyway :D
  • I'VE DONE IT. WHEN SHE THROWS A FIT OUT OF BOREDOM OR EVEN HABIT. MOST OFTEN IT STARTLES HER ENOUGH THAT SHE FORGOT WHAT SHE WAS PITCHING A TANTRUM ABOUT. BUT NOT IF IT IS AN OBSTINATE TANTRUM.
  • I've seen the same thing also work on babies. So long as it's not a physical discomfort issue, if you cry louder than the baby does, it will be perplexed and quit... for a period.
  • You're not mean at all. I've heard this is very effective. It takes the child's mind off what he is upset about, and eventually he's okay, and thinking your pretty funny.
  • No, I do that, too. Sometimes when one of my kids is crying, I'll cry too, and they'll start laughing at me.
  • Both me an my husband have done this when my daughter was younger. This usually lead to all three of us laughing on the floor in the end. It is not mean. It points out to a child how riddiculous they look.
  • I've also done this with adults....it is hilarious...but sometimes it does backfire....
  • Some two-year-olds turn into three-year-olds who still have tantrums. That's usually because parents didn't quite handle the two-year-old tantrums correctly (or because a child is a little later to reach that stage in development). The best way to deal with tantrums is 1) head them off if possible, with a little understanding. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/875875/the_terrible_twos_and_tantrums.html?cat=7
  • I am glad to se that I am not the only one that does it. I may get looked at like I am a freak but atleast she stops freaking out.
  • you shouldent do that because he just likes getting you wound up. and if he sees you doing that he will think its okay to do it. you should try to say things like " i know your upset that mommy isnt buying you the toy but christmas is coming up and you will get plenty of toys then."
  • I can't imagine how throwing a tantrum in front of your kid is going to convey any helpful meaning.
  • No I do the same thing, and I have 15 month twin girls. They stop. Either because they realize it isn't getting the response they want, or just because mama looks so weird....lol
  • i have thrown a fit back, it helps me not to feel as if i am going to snap and i get a lil laugh out of seeing his reaction, like his mom has flipped the lid
  • No, this is actually a great way to show children what they look like when they behave that way. I work in a day care and the best way, I have found, to stop children from crying is to pretend you're crying yourself. It's hilarious.
  • I do the same thing, but I am mean. not to kids though! lol
  • It isn't that your mean...but you have to think of what your teaching your little guy...at 3 years old you have to simplify things so that your tot can understand...do you think it's right to teach your 3 year old not to hit and if he does you spank him (or hit him)...it doesn't make much sense...He needs to learn that taking a fit isn't acceptable but by taking a fit at him isn't teaching him anything other than that it is... He needs to understand consiquences...if he makes a scene in the grocery store and you threaten to leave and he continues...you better be prepared to leave..if you don't then he knows he can manipulate you and this behavior with continue...if you appear to be unaltered by his behavior and you are consistent in his consiquences for this behavior it will stop eventually because he doesn't get anything out of it.
  • I do like your style!
  • I do this to my kids but it usually just makes them look at me stupid and makes them louder.
  • Throwing a "Fit" back at a child is very imature and childish ... It acompolishes nothing ; BUT to show the kid that is accceptable behavior .... Time Outs , taking away a toy or special item , etc is much more effective . ONE, soft swat on the behind , NOT a spanking would even be more effective .. IF the child does not quit the temper tantrums .. maybe a doctor needs to do an assessment or referal .
  • My niece did well when I just ignored her. Or sometimes I laughed at her and told her we couldn't have fun if she acted up. She stopped after the second day staying with me and never acted like that again in all this time. She learned that her fit wasn't gonna get her what she wanted and it did no good to act so ugly. Every child is different. Good luck!
  • I'd just throw the kid. But that's me, maybe I'm mean.
  • I have def tried that on my son but it only seems to make him more mad... so i use the time out chair ALOT
  • I have done this a few times actually and my kids will either get even more upset or start laughing at me. I don't think your a mean person for it though...
  • I've done that to my goddaughters...they would stop crying, look at me like I grew an extra head, then go about their business and forget all about the fit!
  • Children learn from their parents. If you are acting the same as your child, he will continue to believe his fits are okay, since mom has them. I would do something different.
  • your not being mean but you are doing it wrong you should put him in time out or tell him its time for a nap or give him a little spank :)

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