ANSWERS: 49
  • 1) Tell them you believe in Intelligent Design. 2) Tell them you believe NASA faked the moon landings. 3) Tell them the war on Iraq was justified. That should easily do it.
  • Ask for stupid advice.
  • Ask questions about Britney Spears on Answerbag.
  • Vote to re-elect Bush.
  • Opening your mouth to prove you are a fool is the first one. Constant stupid questions about Johnny Depp will do it. Making stupid statements which have no basis in fact always helps If none of these work have some blonde streaks put in your hair. I did
  • Fly off the handle any time somebody says something you disagree with on Answerbag, or anytime they disagree with you, as if a website and the opinions of total strangers on it are the most important things in the world...
  • Just start speaking.
  • Pick your nose at stop lights. Bury yourself in a snowbank - naked. Stare off into space with a vacant expression on your face. When all else fails, shave your head and check into rehab.
  • Well I think making other people people look stupid or making fun of them
  • Don't ask questions in complete phrases!
  • ask: why i cant open the door from the outside, i finally realized it was a revolving door, should i push or pull?
  • Asking any one of numberous questions like "Why?" or What?" or "What is Johnny Depp's favorite sandwich?" or other similar things here on AB.
  • Be a Troll.
  • Watch and take notes from Klinger on MASH.
  • be me- :()
  • your instead of you're.
  • I would drool on purpose when I was out with my friends. I guess they liked it cause they'd laugh every time. It's all in the technique.
  • Ask a question about who was the actor who appeared in some TV commercial, or the title of the song in a TV ad almost no one remembers. There are lots of unanswered questions like those in Answerbag... Go to a baseball stadium with a baseball glove, hoping you will catch one. The odds are the same as the odds of winning the lottery.
  • Repeatedly misspell hte word "the" in every sentence. This is one of hte most annoying things hte idiots on hte internet do. Try out for American Idol when you know darn well that you suck at singing. Act like you're afraid of cops. Run from cops. Resist arrest. Protest about something that has no influence on anything or anyone. Like hte Tarheels. I think that's all hte ways of hte top of my head. (Oh yeah...one more...Vote for a liberal) Hte "hte" thing is annoying, isn't it?
  • Tattoo "IDIOT" on your forehead.
  • as a teenager i use to get a kick out of going to the mall and standing in the middle of a corridor staring at the ceiling with a questioning look on my face. a crowd would eventually gather around me, especially if i had a couple of friends with me to help with the crowd mentality aspect. i thought it was funny how easy it is to draw a crowd by doing nothing ... but i'm sure some of them thought i was an idiot when they realized there was nothing up there.
  • If someone says anything, respond to it like so: Person 1: I'm going to the store. Person 2: You're a store!
  • for many people, it is only a matter of opening their mouth and it confirms it....myself included.
  • Wear a hockey helmet on public transit and yell "EIGHTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR!" when the bus starts moving. And repeat yelling after each stop and go.
  • ask if the continents float on the water laugh at everyithing use the stor seurity cameras as a mirror to pick you nose.
  • Become very passionate in your argument and then be proved wrong and not be able to admit it. Even better, blame the other person somehow for you being wrong. I do it all the time, but my husband is dumber than me so he doesn't notice. LOL
  • Let them think you are a complete idiot...then open your mouth and prove it.
  • Act like Anna Nicole "Vicky" Smith
  • Be an adult, have sex with a minor and tell someone about it. Laugh when somebody says something really mean and rude. Trying to jump stuff in a shopping cart.
  • Talk about something you know absolutely nothing about.
  • Smoke a cigarette! Any time anywhere will do but particularly when pregnant or in a restaurant.
  • I DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING I JUST LOOK STUPID LOL
  • ask my hubby
  • go tot he mall with your friends and play Marco polo in the fountain (or any place with a large fountain) Just imagine a bunch of people with there eyes closed walking in about a foot of water playing Marco polo.
  • stand in the middle of a food court and just stare straight up at the roof, even if theres nothing there, eventually people will start to look up and get confused.
  • hold up a sign that says im a compete idiot.
  • Tell people that Americans are still respected in the countries they blow up
  • say "bread makes me go poop" repeatedly....
  • Go shopping in a pair of A-TEAM boxer shorts( nothing else)and then when you get to the counter tell them you've left your wallet indoors.
  • say that you are very intelligent and that you were actually the rebirth of hitler and neil armstrong.
  • Walking into a church with this on usually works. I have one that I wear with my Death robe. For best effect, sit in the very front pew, and cough/sneeze constantly, making sure to apologize to everyone around in an EXTREMELY loud voice. Interupt the priest only in mid-sentence, then politely ask the priest to continue.
  • ACCIDENTAL DOUBLE POST. KILL THIS ONE.
  • wear a I LOVE JESSIE MCCARTNEY shirt at a good charlotte concert
  • have a big ugly tribal piece tattoed on your face by han from some random person who never tattoed. I've seen it before...
  • Oh, I Do that all the time!! Try this!! EVOLUTION?? I guess that for myself, I do not just Believe it NOT to be true, I have literally PROVEN that it is NOT - Scientifically! There are 2 "animals" that specifically and comprehensively disprove evolutionary theory beyond all doubt: Snake & Man. WHY THEM?? … and … HOW?? you may ask. They are Precise opposites in everything - both behaviourally and anatomically!! As a Specialist Anatomist and Kinesiologist, I undertook a comparative study over nearly 10 years, discovering, then proving, this great, yet simple, phenomenon ‘WHY DO YOU SAY THEY ARE OPPOSITE??’ you may ask. You may also query, "Well, if they are precise opposites, Why do they both have backbones and breathe air, and have many other apparently similar internal organs?” In answering this, it needs to be both - recognized and acknowledged that "kinds" of organism [or species] cannot simply defy the Higher overall laws of nature itself, simply to accent a differentiation of species. That is the number 1 rule of comparative science. What I am saying here is that because of their size, and land-dwelling nature, etc., they are necessarily Both vertebrate, and require some similarity in alimentary system, etc., simply to live efficiently and to satisfy the requirements of effective survival according to their overall land-dwelling nature. (Most specifically, I speak particularly of venomous ground snakes in this study.) There, after satisfying the fundamental laws of survival nature and of effective and satisfactory existence itself, their 'similarities' completely end! Thereafter, they are total opposites in everything – in terms of all possible differentiating factors among the beasts that exist. In fact, a very close examination will reveal that snakes cannot be more unlike other beasts, either, if they tried! For that matter, neither could Man be more different than everything else!! ... and that is, despite all the claims of genetics, etc., that various species [of ape, etc.] possess 99% similarity with the DNA of Man. Despite all this supposed similarity, there is nothing that really well compares to Man at all among the beasts that exist - especially, behaviourally. Now this extraordinary discovery of total opposites tends to disprove random chance mutation – per evolutionary theory. It also confirms a deliberation in Creation – it tends to most powerfully support that there is a God in nature – determining the nature of matters and designing them, according to His own purposes. Similarly, it also powerfully supports the Biblical account of Adam and Eve, wherein it was the very serpent, itself, in fact, which was used by Satan to oppose God to Eve. As you may recall, as a result of this act by the serpent, God cursed all things – changing them – but none so greatly as the snake!! [See Holy Bible] Obviously, as this study shows, among all the changes that were made was the symbolic representation re the snake that epitomized this very act – its Opposition to Man and God!! … especially so, when we consider, as well, that that same record declares that Man was created in the express image of God. This acknowledgment makes the whole proposal of expressed symbolic opposition between Man and snake all the more significant, given the Biblical history. A Master Achievement re early Biblical Proofs … would you not think?? God, only, can be thanked for it, under His direction, guidance and revelation! ALL His acts and inspiration are Masterly – hence, His name: “The Master”. OBJECTION BY ANOTHER ANSWERER RE MY DISCOVERY: You don't appear to understand the math involved in evolution or genetics. We may have 99% similar DNA to a Chimpanzee, but we also have 80% similar DNA to a banana. MY RESPONSE: denidowi May, 11 2008 at 05:10 AM [Edit] Well, really, I DO believe I understand the maths in genetics! As a mathematician myself, what you're saying is precisely what I am saying. The whole concept of opposites is purely mathematical. The claims by geneticists that we all (Man and Beast, more particularly) spring from the same evolutionary derivatives/tree/chain simply because our DNA's are so alike - especially, chimps and humans being so close is my particular point - is precisely why I say that that % DNA similarity does not make us similar or of the same background – especially when you consider the considerably close % of the banana – at 80% sameness. Despite the DNA similarity, the point is that this DNA similarity has to actually evidence properly in nature – Both, behaviourally and anatomically. Bananas?? I don’t think so! The similarity re DNA merely proves that ALL life has to have certain characteristics and similarity of feature simply in order to simply satisfactorily survive alive in nature – so that it exists efficiently. After all, God is a God of law and order. Snakes and Man, therefore, share DNA similarities, so does the banana, but only so far as to make them live effectively in nature. There, the similarity totally ends! Specie-wise, Man and snake are precise Opposites – even among their similar survival features – lung/s, heart, mouth, alimentary canal, etc. – there is great opposition between the two. LET’S JUST SIT BACK AND ENJOY A BRIEF LIST RE OPPOSITION BETWEEN MAN AND SNAKE FROM THE BOOK, “TWO BIRDS … ONE STONE!!” (Denis Towers) SNAKES VS MAN: Horizontal flat ambulation vs upright, vertical. Lies flat along the ground vs. stands erect Indented penis (lies pushed into the inside of the body when ‘flaccid’) vs external in Man Forked divergent tongue vs convergent [narrowing] While on the tongue: no apparent taste buds vs Yes…. Tongue: Much external time vs mostly within mouth Flattened head vs domed high skull No appendages vs greatest appendicular/axial skeletal ratio of all vertebrates In rest: human - supine, straight, or zig-zagged position vs coiled, etc In movement: snake – zig-zagged, random vs direct, deliberate Ears? Has none vs … External nose? Has none vs … Vocalization? Has none – is a ‘hiss & a byword’ vs… Eyes? Venomous groundsnakes: mainly monocular vs binocular Food & living practices? Nocturnal vs diurnal Hibernates & seasonal vs all year around performer… Dormant hidden lifestyle vs active [!], healthy[!] open Almost still sex copulation for hours vs acceleratory [in health & vitality] Eyes covered-hidden by own skin [that is, internal, weak] vs momentary eyelid, direct contact with external… Audio: internal & almost non-existent vs eternal entry – prime means of communication Smell: internal, powerful vs external [weak, by comparison with beasts, generally] Touch: thick scaly skin - insensitive vs great sensitivity… TASTE?? Apparently, non-existent vs opposite… Multi-coloured vs…uniformity Also tremendous variation in size [6” – 30’] vs…comparative uniformity [in health] Copulating penis? Hooked & downward pointing vs. upward & erect, etc. Only erectile structure/s [fangs] initiate death vs only erectile structure in Man initiates life 2 peni vs singular penis Mainly [deadly groundsnakes, that is] oviparous vs viviparous birth to young Consumption? All in 1 great gulp vs boundless chewing & into small pieces Head 1st consumption of victim vs. rarely eat heads Retractible, curved, sharp teeth, pulling long-ways vs fixed, non-curved, mostly molar teeth, which effect direct up & down crushing effect on food Food totally meat – eaten alive vs mainly ‘picked’ and cleaned fruit & veges, etc. meat is killed, prepared and cooked. (Note that even among other carnivorous beasts, most include some vegetation) And the hits just keep on coming between the opposition of Man & snake!! VESTIGIAL APPARATI: Some snakes have miniscule, Internal, unobservable pelvises. In typical opposition, a man’s (woman’s in particular) is more outwardly obvious, and forms part of the system of the leg. In similar opposite manner, snakes possess outwardly-displayed, tails; Man’s is vestigially ‘buried’ in nature: I almost quite forgot, MvL, thanks for your inadvertent extra point for my cause (He was actually trying to introduce a point for the opposition camp), concerning snakes being opposite Man: re the “Vestigial structures” you point out; I hadn’t thought of it previously. So, Very good ... very good for my cause: Yes; I must admit, I originally pointed out in my ‘work’ that in Opposition to snakes, humans have no tail - and certainly, in outwardly visual terms, this is so. However, I'm glad you highlighted these structures vestigially. You'll note, accordingly [that is, in terms of ‘Opposition between Man and snake’], that the vestigial structures of the snake - its pelvic - lie laterally across its body, whereas, in complete opposition, Man's – his vestigial tail bone – lies vertically, along his longitudinal plane. So, Good point, MvL ... Good inadvertent point for my cause! Further [Behavioural consideration re your observation now]: Man's vestigial apparatus here, assists his "REST" Mode in life – that is, sitting. Snake, in the true Opposition that he seems to epitomize across every feature, uses his vestigial apparati for active purposes – balance in movement and assistance in the sexual act. As most simply curl or coil up in rest, his miniscule pelvis is obviously, not needed for his rest periods! SO ONCE AGAIN, IN DECISIVE MANNER, THE SNAKE HAS PROVEN HIMSELF QUITE OPPOSITE MAN IN ALL THINGS! Good ol’ MvL, God bless him, then proposed that he could also prove that pigeons or dogs were also ‘opposite humans’. I responded in the following manner: You are right, MvL. One thing I learned from all my 9 year research into this matter is that animals are quite unlike humans - if not, opposite humans in so many aspects themselves! In like manner (re my hypothesis), however, snakes appear to be even more unlike anything else that exists on earth than even humans do!! ... including their [supposed] ‘nearest cousins’ (lizards), if you really study them very closely, that is. They are at considerable variation with one another. Whereas, if you made a comparative study of the oppositeness of feature between [say] a cow and a bird, or a snail and a dog, you would not access nearly as many opposites by comparison. Perhaps, somewhat surprising, but true nonetheless! For further clarification, you might try the Book, mentioned above. JUST A SPAT RE A FEW MORE OPPOSITES BETWEEN MAN AND SNAKE: Ratio of Brain size to mouth: extremely low – only a fraction vs. most pronounced of all known creatures [a case of mind over matter, I believe] Sheds its ‘skin’ in 1 whole piece vs. in opposition, not so Snake sleeps with open eyes vs. shut-eye Arrangement of internal organs: Mostly in single file vs. paired Accordingly, lives mostly alone vs. in pairs/families Desserts its young even before birth [eggs] vs. constant nurture and parental nourishment Cold-blooded vs. warm… Head in dirt vs. head nearest the heavens, etc. Here, you have but a mini-list of the all-encompassing complete opposition: Man vs. snake! May God Bless You PLEASE DISSEMINATE THIS SIMPLE YET ASTOUNDING DISCOVERY WORLDWIDE!
  • tell people you stay on this site for hours and hours and absolutely love it. for one.
  • Open a can of Chicken Of The Sea Tuna, and ask someone if its really chicken.. lol (jessica Simpson did that in Newlyweds)
  • scratch your armpits and sniff them at social events and at work. P.s. also works with crotch but then you may be considered a pervert.

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