ANSWERS: 100
  • I did get spanked infrequently as a child. And yes, I do think it helped. I don't ever remember my parents being upset at the time, except for once when I didn't tell my mom I was going to a friends house. She panicked and when I came strutting through the door after she called everyone she knew and finally found me and had the mom send me home, she swatted my butt (which didn't really hurt) and started balling. I tell you, to this day I tell them when and where I'm going if I'm at their house, and at my own home they know when we're going out of town. *lol*
  • Yes - I experienced physical punishment both at home and at school. In hindsight, I think it certainly taught me the difference between right and wrong - or at least that particular adults stab at right and wrong! Am I a better adult now because of it? I honestly don't know but when I look at what some of the kids get up to these days I do sometimes think a clip around the earhole might go some way.......! What do you think?
  • Yes, I did. I was beaten with a leather belt, and quite often had welts and bruises from my calves to my shoulders. I do not think that it made me a better adult. I think it taught me to accept being abused. Because of this, I normalized behavior that is unacceptable, and I stayed in my marriage to an abusive husband too long. I will NEVER do this to my children. As a matter of fact, they say child abuse runs in families, so I refuse to have children until I've undergone counseling.
  • I got a switch yes I said a switch to those of you who don't know what this is. it is a long thin stick usually with a lot of nots and somelittle branches comming off it and it's painfull. I don't know if it made me a better adult I didnt get a choice. but I would never use one on my son I do however spank him
  • I think so in ways,its passed on to you when you are a adult.As of now i have no kids ,but i think i would do the best i could when it came to mine (or if it does).I Do think i would have to spank them in the bootie a bit to get them to understand better,but i would only give them a scare and not to hurt them.Punishing me didnt help me a bit in my opinion,but its part of the package of bein a parent.
  • I was beaten by everything from a ping pong paddle to a belt to whatever was handy, 95% of the time by my father. My mother was just a mild spanker on the backs of our legs or tops of our hands. But my father would today be considered a child abuser I would think. It made me NOT want to have children, fearing I would do the same to them, and I honestly think I could have learned the same lessons by being punished in a much less harsh and corporal manner. I carried strong dislike for my father into adulthood, and I am sure one big reason is remembering those beatings he said were "for my own good." He believed in "spare the rod and spoil the child." I wish I had found a rod to "spare" on him when I was older, but it would not have undone the damage, and just created more conflict between us no doubt.
  • No, at that time it really just made me extremely scared and not want to be around my parents. My parents never really abused me, but there were times my dad would strike me across the face pretty good, or my mother would pull my hair because I said I was 5 when she wanted me to be 4 so she could get a discount at a water park. I believe I am a better person because of the things they taught me, not because of physical punishments.
  • No, thankfully, I did not. However, all my mother or father had to do was look at me sternly (sometimes I wouldn't exactly why)or withdraw emotionally and I would be ready to open a vein. I was an only child and very attached.
  • My mum tried to smack me once, I turned around, put my hand on my hip and said 'didn't hurt' (oh I had such attitude!) My dad... he has a short fuse and a violent temper. He used to beat the crap out of my mum, but he never hit me to the same degree. I think its because I could run faster. He'd hit you with anything, pencil case, fist, belt, even once an iron when it was still on. I doubt that any of that made me a better adult, except that I know that if I have kids, no one (and i mean NO ONE) is laying a finger on them
  • I got the wooden spoon when i was very naughty. I remember being very scared of getting that punishment, but at the end of the day it didn't happen very often, my dad doesn't drink anymore and I'm OK. I think disipline is important for child-rearing but i don't necessarily think that physical punishment is useful.
  • I was spanked and hit by my father. My mother would do things like scratch me or wash my mouth out with soap (has anyone else had to do this?). I am now a self-harmer. So no, I'm not a better person for it, but I'll still probably discipline my kids. Just less violently and with good reason.
  • i used to get a smack, but i was never beaten and i had to do something really wrong to get a smack. i dont think its made me a better adult though. i think if i had kids i wouldnt smack them because i can remember how i used to feel when i got smacked.
  • I used to get beat as a child...so I thought at the time. My mother used to hold my arm while I ran around her jumping and hopping and saying no mama no mama. She usually ended up getting cracked up and no spanking ever came. If I did something really bad though she would make me wait until my stepfather got home. Oh the dread. After 2 pops though his feelings were hurt and it was over. Cant say that its made me better or worse.
  • No my parents never spanked or othervise gave me any form of physicall punishment. I was grounded but that was all. My brothers and sistere vere never spanked either. My husband was spanked/beaten and I would never lay a hand on my kids nor would I let anyone else. You can didipline children without resorting to violence and in my oppinion they will repect you more instead of just fearing you ! hope this helps..
  • I used to get beaten with a wooden spoon, so hard sometimes it would actually break on me. Has it made me a better adult, hardly.
  • Oh yes, by my mother. She even told me on several occations that she was going to kill me. I don't blame her though, I was one of 6 kids and a great source of frustration for her. (I had a bedwetting problem). There, I've finally come out and said it. And NO, it did not make me a better person as an adult.
  • My Mother was not very strict, just more dramatic. My father however did not beat us, but beat us up emotionally, but demeaning us, in everything we did or tried to accomplish. I realized when I was a teen, I didnt want to become my parents. So with that said, I never even spanked my children sons, I dont believe in that, but would talk to them instead. I then encouraged them, praised them and loved them.
  • Yes, I did get spanked. I believe very nearly every one who grew up anytime up to the 80's had a good chance of getting corrected that way. It got your attention but didn't do much good. You can get a child's attention without it, and make a longer lasting impression in gentler ways, that add to the learning process. Every generation should get a little better. If you physiclly punish your child, they will do the same. Passing on what you were delt as a child does not brake the cycle. Kids can get to you and bring out what you desperatly try not to do. Spanking begets spanking...it's a worthless effort of correction, and does more harm then good. We must forgive our parents, they did what they received, they just didn't know any better. Our kids are not responsible for being here, nor for the bills, or any of our adult problems. " A problem can not be solved with the same consciousness that created it." Stop and think before you react.
  • First, there is a big difference between a spanking for punishment, compared to outright child abuse. the difference being intent or the manner in which corporal punishment is administered. As a child, i was never assaulted by my parents as punishment. was i whipped with a belt for bad deeds i did? sure and i deserved it. my whippings were always on my buttocks and never above my belt line. This made me a better adult and to respect my parents and their discipline. i see now, what i did not see then, concerning discipline. My wife and i have given discipline to our two children in the same manner as was given to us. we have two great well-disciplined adult children. Just the thought of that belt or that switch was enough of a psychological nightmare that it kept us straight, forever. It worked for us and its not child abuse.
  • YES as a young person I received physical punishment. That pain was irrelevant even then. Those wounds heal. The punishments were infrequent and justified. I never felt, nor was I abused. Psychologically, as an adult, I was once called "lazy." That still hurts. It hurt because it was a high achiever. I was doing well. Much better than anyone knew. But, I was still measuring myself by another's yardstick and not my own. And the tree switch did not improve my behavior. I knew enough not to make the same mistake again without the pain. The character assault and the unrealistic expectations did more to unbalance my development than the physical experience. My achievements and work ethic were taken for granted instead of being memorialized as they deserved. My self confidence was not nurtured and is still the chink in my armor.
  • i got spanked when i needed it. never beaten. in some ways it probobly made me a better man.
  • Spanked a fair amount as a kid til about age 8-9. Then made to go to my room or something else.
  • my parents used a 3 foot long piece of oak the color of flames to spank me with. I think it was a definite mischief deterrent, yes. Could I probably have done without being spanked with a flaming red and orange piece of oak? I think so. I would recommend any form of punishment that is stern enough to get the message across, but not over the top.
  • Yes, we got spankings, on our butts, with a razor strap or a belt. They did not beat us, they spanked us. There was a little "ceremony" type thing that went on, first we were told what we were getting a spanking for. We were asked if we thought that what we did was wrong or against the rules of the home, we were sent to get the strap or belt and bring it back in a timely manner, we were spanked, we were hugged and told that Mom or Dad loved us and that they sincerly hoped that we would not have to experience this again. My sisters didnt do much to get spankings, but I think I wore out the strap long before the razors did. Yes, I do think they made me a better adult. I learned to respect others' property, respect authority and that the truth is better than a lie. General life things that you want all youngsters to learn. I dont have a problem with people spanking children as long as it doesnt turn into beatings or abuse.
  • I got spanked a couple times when I was a kid, but I was always warned beforehand. I was stupid and didn't listen, so got what was coming. I hate seeing the Super Nanny episodes where the children run amok because the parents are afraid to discipline their child for fear of losing their child's love. There is definitely that line between abuse and discipline. I always get irritated hearing people say spanking is abuse. If used correctly I think it teaches children to learn there are consequences for their actions. It also taught me to respect my elders which I think is being lost on a lot of kids.
  • As a child, I was spanked. I can also agree with the few who said, "I deserved it, too". But, at the age of 7, I got a step-father. Shortly after, the spankings turned to beatings with a belt. Yes, I had the whelps and bruises. It lasted until I was 14 and I ran away. But, I realized I had left my little brother to fend for himself, so I went back. We left for good at 17. I believe the spankings made me a better ADULT. My Mom told me what was right, and if I didn't do it, she spanked me. And, as much as I hate to say it, the beatings made me a better PARENT. It made me realize that I would NEVER treat my kids that way, and I haven't. They are almost all grown now, and they have turned out pretty good.
  • I got it with belts, switches, fly swatters, and on one very painful occasion, a wooden spoon. Very, very rarely did I remember what I was actually spanked/beaten for. This tells me that either the punishment was too harsh, or it was administered too often and overshadowed the misdeed that supposedly prompted it. Often, or so it seemed to me, it happened more because Mom or Dad or the babysitter was in a bad mood. Had they been in a better mood, I wouldn't have been punished, or at least not as severely. Physical punishment taught me the following: 1. It hurts. 2. Don't get caught next time. 3. The way to deal with your anger is to hit somebody. Physical punishment failed to teach me: 1. Right from wrong. 2. That my parents loved me. So no, I wouldn't say it made me a better adult. In fact, it set me up for years and years of psychotherapy to recover from the effects. This is not to say, however, that all physical punishment is wrong. There were those rare times when it was very effective. My grandfather once administered two little swats, not even hard enough to make me cry (I was six) and even at that age I knew I had it coming. This is one of the few times I could remember what it was for. He never had to spank me again. Yet some parents would say that unless it hurts, it isn't effective. Bullfrogs.
  • yes, i got the wooden spoon and the strap. it didn't turn me into a horrible person, i am down to earth, easy going. it doesn't mean i don't get stressed out or whatever, i'm normal. i don't think it harmed me in any way!
  • People will use anything as an excuse for the behavior that they exhibit. We choose to do what we do, either as a child or an adult. Outside of the totally insane, people generally know when they are doing something unacceptable; whatever it is. There are plenty of terrible 'abusers' out there that were not abused as children. And, there are plenty of 'abused' that are healthy adults raising healthy, happy children. Nowadays, it seems like those that cause trouble are given some sympethetic, psychological excuse for an 'out', leaving the responsible to clean up the mess.
  • I was spanked as a very young child. Seeing siblings physically punished stuck in my mind more than getting spanked myself. No, it didn't make us into better adults. I don't think it had a negative impact on us as adults, either, though.
  • Yes I did get spanked, and I am very appreciative to my parent for raising me in such a good away. They did the best they could. If they hadn't occassionally beat my behind, I wouldn't be where I am today. Now if people beat their children till their black and blue, that's a different story. That's not called for. Where suppose to discipline our children in love, and explain to them why were punishing them the way were doing. That statement is true, "It hurts me, more than it hurts you". If you spare the rod, you spoil the child.
  • I was spanked by my parents, either with a belt or wooden spoon, sometimes a hand. I was never beaten. I think it DID make me understand that I had to respect them and do what they said. It probably did make me a better person, I know that there are rules that have to be followed and if you don't follow them or do what it right then you are in trouble. I do not think there is anything wrong with spanking kids...beating is another thing, that is wrong! I think its rediculous that kids today can get away with so many things because parents are affarid to dissapline their kids. How are we supposed to raise our kids the right way and teach them right from wrong if we cannot dissapline them when they do something wrong, I do also belive in grounding and taking prevliages and other things away from kids as well.
  • Beaten with hands, switches, sticks, fly swatters, belts, paddles, and rolled up extension cords. I was also reminded by my family on a regular basis that I was ugly, fat, and black. Did it make me a better adult? In one respect, Yes, because I learned what not to do. In another respect, No, because I internalized the pain of the abuse so much that I now magnetically attract abusive personalities.
  • i did get hit sometimes, but they punished me through love. and thats the only way i could have learnt the values i know now. Love is the only way to punish a child. I cant really say if it made me a better adult because im only 15 now so im still immmature.
  • No never , but my parents were very strict just the same , Being beaten was not necessary in our house. I am not anti smack and I do mean a smack on the hand with the word NO when a small child is doing something which could endanger it, but am certainly anti repeat smacking and beating is a very definate NO NO
  • Yes, my parents used to smack the hell out of us. Cracks up side the head, thrashings with belts, slaps, gnashing of teeth (LOL), and countless death threats! I don't know what the effect was, because I have no way of knowing how I would have turned out otherwise. All I know is that I don't feel anywhere near that much anger toward my own kids. I am much calmer when they do something "bad" for want of a better term, and it is very rare for me to feel a need to smack them. All through school also, we were regularly beaten by teachers in New Zealand, (it only stopped in senior high school) they used thick leather straps on our hands from the age of 5 until the age of 12, after which we were caned on the ass with bamboo, 6 times on the same spot. The experts knew how long it took from the initial numb-shock until the pain hit, and they'd time their strokes to coincide with that pain. Total sadists!!
  • Never. My parents didn't actually punish me at all, that often- they tended to do a guilt trip thing about how disappointed they were and that seemed to work better somehow. Not saying it would with every kid, but my personality would probably dictate that if I was physically punished for something I would make an extra effort to do it again just to prove that I wasn't scared. I respond to guilt more than I do to fear. Personally I don't really think that the type of punishment a parent uses is really that important (although thrashing the crap out of your kids is obviously not good, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea of physical punishment for the reason that I think its too difficult to draw the line in an appropriate place.) its the consistency you carry it out with. If you just smack your kids because they're annoying you when you want to watch the football, but let them get away with taunting younger kids at school, that doesn't really teach them anything useful. A lot of the kids I knew when I was young wohse parents I knew smacked them were actually worse behaved than those whose parents didn't. I think whatever you do its making the child understand what they did wrong that's the important bit, rather than whatever you might choose to do as punishment.
  • Yes sir, and no sir. It turned me into a crybaby for 10 years. Because when I didn't cry when my parents spanked me, they only hit me harder and harder and harder until I did cry. And even then I cried not because I couldn't tolerate the pain, but because that was the threshold at which they had trained me to cry by performing this action so many times already. And as they did it more and more, that only lowered the threshold. Thus, they trained me to cry more and more and more easily, even though I in fact had a high threshold for pain and didn't even know it. Only after having been through hell am I not a crybaby. Now I can stoicly take a beating from 3 assailants with all the grace of a statue. On the other hand, it also trained me on first impulse not to fight back when I am getting beaten. That I apparently have not gotten over and am certainly not any better off for it. Nor are the assailants' next victims better off for my not having broken their little necks when I had the chance. In any case, no it did not make me a better adult to have been beaten by my larger and stronger parents when they were larger and stronger than me and I could do nothing about it. A man is not made better by living in fear of a wrathful god. Though it may supress that man's evildoing onto others, it is very bad for the man himself.
  • yeah, i knew what i was doing was wrong and i don't hold anything against either one of my parents for the way i was disciplined. my father was strict so i was spanked quite a bit. if it weren't for my father's discipline, i would probably be a really horrid person. i have bpd and the way he took care of me, i can say, i've been in a lot of trouble but not nearly as much as i think i would have been had he not been so strict.
  • Now that this subject came up again, I read every single post. I am disgusted, sad and angry that parents are the ones who are supposed to love their children, protect them and keep them safe. I feel like crying reading some of these posts. I wish I could take all your pain away but I cant. I think parents who hit their children, or use spoons, belts, and other objects should be arrested, that is now called "child abuse." Unfortunately it does not help a child become a better person, but just the opposite for the most part. It can cause anger issues, relationship probems, mental illness and worse so many end up doing the same thing to their children. Bless you all for surving that, and DONT become your parents
  • I wish I got spanked- maybe I wouldn't resent my mother as much as I do- maybe I would have still have her in my life.. I don't remember the word for it in french- but it is a whip with straps that french women use to disiciple their kids- I was thrown against walls- shook- she used anything handy to throw at me- that was not to teach me a lesson- it was because I came home at the wrong time.. it went on and on, and to this day I hate her for it- it also made me scared of having my own kids, as I do have a short fuse- if anyone raises a hand at me, my first reaction is to punch them, I regret it thereafter- I hate myself for it- I hate the fact that I feel that I am not violent in nature but my instincts had been screwed up.. I know that what ever she did to me isn't half as bad as what her parents did to her- I was very happy when she left- I was nine years old at a time and people couldn't understand why I didn't miss my mother.. I only came clean about it all when I was 22 years old, when my old man accused me of being a cold and unaffectionate person- that hurt me a lot, so I wrote him a 10 pages letter- you can imagine his shock to learn about that- I was bribed by my mother and threaten not to tell- it worked very well, as I kept quiet for 13 years after she left.. I think my dad's way was more effective in teaching me the difference between wrong and right- he would have talks with me, which made me not want him to be ashamed of me- I admire him for that, I know I didn't come out all messed up because of it and grew up to be a decent person- I didn't feel the need to take out my rage in wrong doings, as again, his opinion of me mattered to me. He did say, that he would be doing life in prison if he knew about it back then... At the end, I feel sorry for my mother.. both me and my brother are nice to her, but she has no role in our lives and neither of us feel anything towards her...
  • I was not physically punished as a child, and in turn, don't smack my own child. I feel there are many good ways to punish a child without there being violence.
  • My mum was one of those "Wait till your father gets home!" mums: You knew you were gonna get it and you had to wait maybe all day for it! My dad was a 'whack first, ask questions later' dad. Getting hit didn't bother me all that much, I was a pretty tough little kid, but later on he perfected the art of emotional abuse and that damn near destroyed me! But having said that, I've outlived him and my first husband who was a drunken bully, and I'm quite happy in my skin in spite of it all. Some of the other posts here are horrifying! I can't whinge too much, I never went through punishment anywhere near as rough as they did.
  • yes i got "spanked" and no i dont think it helped me at all. all it did was make me more crule to my younger brother.
  • i was hit as a kid. ididnt like the pain or humiliaton . i am a mom of five now when they do some thing i dont hit them i still remember how i felt instead i take a way x box or tv. depending on which kid it is. i dont think violence teaches anything.
  • Not really, my dad got a little violent sometimes, but it was my mum who dealt with me more often than not, while dad was away at work. And she did'nt believe in all that physical punishment stuff (She's an ex-hippy.) so whenever I'd misbeahave, she'd just try to make me suffer by laying on very heavily with passive agressive crying and obsessive guilt trips. I'm not really traumatized or anything over it, but I'm not exactly *not* traumatized. But hey, at least it's not as bad as if my dad had been dealing with me.
  • yes, i was spanked/beaten. no, i don't think they helped at all. if anything they made me more rebellious. i found that to be put on time-out i was given time to think about what i did wrong, thats what helped me.
  • My dad used to drink a lot and at the end of the day he was always hurting me somehow..not anything sexual or something but since then i am having problems to open up my self and i defend my self with making jokes. For example i lost a very good friend of mine and instead of crying or miss him everytime his name sounds to my ears,i try to make everybody laugh and smile so they won't notice i am sad at all. In fact,the only thing i do is to act this way since then...
  • Yes, my sister and I got some whippings when we were kids, mainly a slap on the rear end or the belt on the rear from both parents. It was never anything out of hand or what I would consider abusive. It was on occasions when we would be out of control and wouldn't listen. When trying to correct us verbally failed, they turned to a smack on the rear to let us know they meant business. I feel that I am a better adult because of their discipline. Both my sister and myself grew up to respect both of them as parents and human beings. I know they were just trying to do their job the best they knew how. However I don't agree with people who give their children full blown beatings with boards and other objects all over their bodies and are all out of control. I do see nothing wrong with a smack on the butt once in a while when verbal correction fails.
  • Yes i have bean spanked when i was a kid and no it did not made me a better adult. If I did different flings wrong I wood have so many spanks for what I did wrong like 1 refusing to go to bed when asked will be naked bottom other my mums knee with here hand 10 spanks . 2 being not good at school and I come home it wood be other my mums knee naked bottom with an hair brush 13 spanks. 3 swearing at my mum or dad wood be naked bottom my hands on my bedroom wall my dad wood get the Kane and spank me 25 times 4 up to no good with my friends out in town or at a park and the police caching me and telling my mum and dad wood be naked bottom me other the top of the chair my dad wood get the Kane and spanked me 30 times . then my mum wood spank me a another 30 times
  • I was spanked. It wasn't abuse in any way.. I think spanking (not punching or beating) your child is an appropriate way to discipline children.
  • I was spanked as a child and of course at the time I thought it was abuse (it wasnt). I think it did me well to know the repercussions of doing something wrong. Made me think twice.
  • I was spanked and it was discipline. It wasn't like I was beaten intensely, it was just a couple of smacks. I wouldn't change it I think it helped keep me in line.
  • Those were the answers I was hoping for. As I notice todays kids are just wild. We were spanked when we were wrong and we learned. Stinging of the butt relates to the brain better shape up.
  • I thought it was abuse (sometimes I think it was- because it got worse when I became a teen) but I probably deserved 90% of it! But it has definetly helped alot and is far less painful in the long run
  • I was never spanked but I have to say that I was a well-behaved child. My younger brother wasn't that well behaved but he never got spanked either. My parents were against violence and spanking. When naughty, we had to sit on the sofa for a while without anything to do and were talked to about our behaviour. It worked for us.
  • No I do not remember being spanked although I remember my mother smacking hands. She did not need to go farther than that. We were certainly never abused in any way
  • I was beaten, and it was abuse. I think spanking is also abusive. I just do not believe that physical violence for any reason other than self-defense is ethical, moral, or tolerable. The funny thing is that I believed in spanking up until a few years ago.
  • I wasn't spanked when I was a child. I was a pretty good kid, and if I wasn't then it usually only took the threat of a spanking to make me come around. My mom didn't really believe in spankings... she would just give us "the eye."
  • Yes and it did the job. And most animals 'spank' their young to keep them in line, its a natural thing within reason
  • I wasn't spanked. Niether was my sister. My parents didn't think that was an appropriate manner of discipline, however, I also don't think that my behavior (or my sisters) would have ever been bad enough to warrant a spanking even if my parents were willing to hand them out.
  • Yes, hitting, neglect, being frightened to death of my own parents It taught me how to grow up really fast, and be responsible for myself, but it left me feeling totally empty in the love and family sections of my life. There are much better ways to learn how to become a good person.
  • When I was young, my dad was sexually abusive in his spankings and spanked excessively. About the age of 7, courts got involved, and *all* discipline completely stopped, and I was left to run wild. I'm 34 now- and wish like heck that #1. my dad hadnt done what he did; #2. That someone who did love me would have taken me under their wing and raised me right; and #3. That the times I really needed a good spanking, I would have gotten one from a safe, trusted adult. I think it would have made my teen and adult years easier to deal with- nobody wants to be a 20 something person trying to figure out social skills that most kids learn early,like basic respect for authority- or even the 'common sense' things kids learn. For example: Smart young women don't go walking alone late at night dressed skimpy. 13 year old girls don't do it, even when dressed properly. I really wish I'd had some 'sense' swatted into the seat of my complacency.
  • Yes - with whatever was handy at the time. The only 'positive' effect it had on me is that I would never treat another human being as badly. I spent years in bad relationships as I thought that was all that I deserved. It definately did not make me a better 'adult' but it did at least make me a better 'parent' than mine were.
  • yes, the soap to wash my mouth out was for swearing, it did teach me to watch my language.
  • I was spanked 1 time. I had lied. I never lied again. And I knew if I didn't obey in the future, it could happen again. It helped me form better habits... I should mention that they had timed me out several times prior... one spanking at age 6 fixed me for life.
  • I'm 15 and I got beat/spanked/harrased all my life by my parents and hell no
  • I was spanked as a child and even a teenager, although by then it was few and far between. I do believe it made me a better adult. Even in labs, things such as shock-therapy(not that i'd ever shock my kid, or that I was shocked with electricity!)are proven to train creatures that when they do the undesired thing then they recieve the undesired response and they WILL correct their ways after a time to avoid the pain. Now, children are hardly lab rats, however the simple fact is, a small amount of pain will train the child, however, there are a few cases where due to the child and thier personality, it doesn't work and you should try other things. When I became older I would conciously choose whether the crime was worth the punishment. Do the Crime and accept the punishment. It honestly depends on the child and NO child under a year should be spanked, possibly two! Smacking a hand for serious stuff, like touching plug-ins or such is good, but the child has to be old enough to understand what no is. And if you've never told them no...well, they won't know what they've done is wrong. In conclusion, Yes, spankings have made me better, my parents however never hit me too hard or anywhere but the bottom. As I do my kids. Usually it was with a belt ar a paddle. Everything in moderation. If the adult gets carried away, or is mad when they spank the child it actually counter-balances the punishment, causing psychological problems, a little at a time. Everything in moderation.
  • Yes, I did get spanked. I do believe that it helped me because it taught me that for any negative societal action I took, there would be a negative reaction for me. I feel that it put me on the right road because I have never been to jail, and I know of some of the guys I grew up with who never got spankings who are sitting in prison right now.
  • I was spanked. It was probably only a handful of times, and every time, my daddy cried. I think that hurt more than the spanking did. I don't remember any physical pain associated with it, only the pain of hurting HIM, and disappointing him. Spanking, if used SPARINGLY and lovingly, can be a very effective deterrent, but it doesn't take much to make it ineffective... a child spanked daily loses respect for it. If it is infrequent (I was only spanked maybe half a dozen times in my memory), it makes all the more of an impression. And it should never be with an implement. a bare hand is far less painful, and feeling the blow yourself will help you realize the potential damage you can cause. If your hand hurts... you KNOW you've gone too far, and have hurt your child. If it leaves a mark for more than a minute or two, it's too hard. I've swatted my daughter once or twice when she did something dangerous after being told not to... it wasn't even hard enough to hurt her, but she still screamed like I'd beaten her within an inch of her life. ;) Hurt her feelings more than anything.
  • I am 16 and i still get bare bottom spankings. I think that they make me a better person and i am more inclined to follow rules than my friends. I know that my mum only spanks me cos she loves me and wants to keep me on the right path. I only get spanked with her hand or a hairbrush (and if i've been really naughty a ruler) that canes!! I believe that teenagers should be spanked cos it would make them more likely to follow rules and not break the law. I don't think spankings make you a violent person. I hate and like being spanked. I hate it cos it is humiliating and it hurts but i like it cos it shows that my mum loves me enough to care still about how i act. I reccommend spankings to other teens. If anyone is interested about anything else to do with this topic say so!!
  • No. I was never spanked or physically punished in any way. I grew up into an intelligent and hard working adult with good self-esteem. I don't believe in spanking.
  • Yes, I was spanked, infrequently, but with excessive force. It was a hand, a ruler, or a leather belt. It was always when Mom or Dad had had "enough". They were angry and frustrated and in hindsight, it only showed a loss of control on their part. It would be abuse by today's standards, though I didn't consider it so at the time. I did know, that I didn't want to repeat the cycle with my own kids. Anyone who thinks it's okay to strike out in anger is risking physical and emotional danger to his/her child. I encourage them to discover a less violent discipline that also teaches respect and responsibility and (best of all) works for kids of all ages. It is called 'Love and Logic'. I'm in no way associated with the company, but this method is used in my kids school and was created by a former school principal, school psychologist and psychiatrist. I swear it works. If you poke around, you can find free articles and a few free downloads on this site, as well as books at your library. http://www.loveandlogic.com/pages/factsheet.html
  • I got spanked, occasionally by my dad. I was a pretty obedient child. It taught me that spanking was acceptable. When I became a mother, I spanked my son when he had a tantrum and sometimes they were frequent. I was a single mother during his first five years and I continued to be the diciplinarian after I married. Thing was, my son used to state that my spankings didn't hurt. I always gave three licks avross the bottom. After that, I made sure they hurt but he was tough and never flinched. My son turned out very well. I recently watched Nanny 911 and a few other child rearing shows and learned new ways to dicipline children. I told my son I wish I would have known of these more effective and less physically hurtful ways of diciplining children as I would have done things differently in hindsight. My son differs. He thinks he deserved the spankings and states that he will enforce capitol punishment on my grandchildren. I may buy Nanny 911 DVDs for him when he has children...just in case he changes his mind. I beleive all parents should investigate new and efficient ways to parent that will benefit everybody. I sure wish children came with instructions. It is a learn as you go activity for most parents.
  • yes i did and no i don't
  • No...I was never beat as a child. I think I was slapped once of twice in the face but that's it. I grew up very spoiled...and sometimes even to this day my older siblings make me feel like crap because I escaped the beatings they got from my father who was an alcoholic when they were little. I can't say they did not make me a better adult, but I have been told that I was spoiled too much and should have got smacked on the ass every once and a while :/
  • I was never beaten, but I was spanked. I got it with both the hand and a switch from the tree outside. And I do think that it made me a better person because it made me respect the fact that if I did wrong I would have to face the concequences of my actions. And I spank my children, but only after other forms of disapline don't get results. I've seen too many parents mistake disapline for abuse. Or vise versa. Both are big mistakes for variouse reasons. There has to be a healthy balance.
  • My father used to beat me severely. I was hit, thrown across rooms, dangled off of third-floor landings, etcetera. I barely remember my childhood. It made me resentful, and it took me a while to be the least bit sensitive to the pains of others after all the pain I myself went through. I am still alive and relatively well-adjusted; if others go to pieces when the world crashes around them then they are weak. Over the years I have learned to be more sympathetic, perhaps overcompensating at times. But a lot of times I tend to act icy and cold, at least on the outside. So you tell me, does that make me a better adult?
  • My mother used to "smack" us with a wooden spoon when we would refuse to bathe. Lol. I suppose it was beneficial, I shower twice daily now?
  • Only a random well deserved spanking and NO I dont think it made me better, just bitter.
  • i got smacked at school with the slipper but on 2 occassions the cane, it was very painful. I once had six of the best on the bare bottom with the slipper......no i dont think it made me a better adult as so ofen i got a smacked bottom for silly little things ...and when you consider what kids get away wih nowadays, well ................
  • At home a smacked bottom did not feel as bad cause when ever i had the cane or slipper on my bottom at school i always knew that others would hear me being smacked outside in the hall as i had heard other boys getting thier bums smacked there. Basically everyone that had been naughty had to queue up outside the headmasters study at 2 oclock for the smacks. You always tried to explain our case as to why you should not be there but basically 9 out of every boy there would get some big smacks on their bottoms.
  • Can't say. I'm still a teen and those beatings do hurt. I learned to not stay quiet. I demand what's their purpose for this beating, try to restate my position, and stay silent, counting each slash.
  • Yes. I got hit with a leather belt. Usually the things I got hit for were things my sister actually did. My sister rarely ever got hit for anything even though she was more badly bahaved than I was. She could kick me and pull my hair, but if I ever fought back in the slightest I would get hit with a belt. I know that it did not make me a better adult, it just made me hate my father.
  • yes i was spanked growing up, like most my age did i was only ever hand spanked or slippered at home though it was trousers and underpants down on the bare bottom and almost always over the knee,i dont think it did me any harm,,,,,and it was not abuse it was fair punishment for misbehaving it was something i got till i was 17 At school i was spanked slippered and caned,,,,the cane was really sore and something to avoid at all costs if you could,,,,but i got it on many occaisions
  • I am a teenager and I was "spanked" with a wooden spoon, a ruler, a stick and other things that were there. I think it was/is a wrong way to disipline children and I dont think it helps them as people. I dont remember any of the things that I got spanked for, so it didnt really each me anything, just to be more secretive. One time my mom was so angry that she broke the wooden spoon spanking my brother and accually hit him more for it. I never got spanked with a belt, but my brother did. Myy father almost always afflicted these and the time my brother got the belt, he was taken to the bacement to the work shop, so that we wouldent have to hear him scream. He also was made to go out in the woods and find the switch that he was going to be spanked with. I thought this was terribe and I hope never to afflict this upon my kids.
  • I was abused growing up, my father was an alcoholic, I got spanked, punched, locked in the bathroom and not allowed to turn on the lights, and constantly verbally degraded. I can barely remember my childhood, and one of my collar bones bares an odd large bump, that appears to be an ill healed break, though I can't tell you if that's what really happened. I quit talking at the age of 9, because everytime I opened my mouth I'd get hit, and didn't start to speak again until I was 14, after my mom finally called the police over it, got my father arrested, and we packed up our things and moved out. I spent most of my teens dealing with post tramatic stress dissorder, and relearning how to communicate, and interact with people. Now, 9 years later, I'm still a mess, dealing with abandonment and trust issues, major depression, and panic attacks, all of which put a strain on my marriage. I'm also a self injurer, because my childhood associated any negitive feeling with pain, and I don't know how to deal with a negitive emotion without feeling physical pain...so, no, i'm not a better or stronger adult...i'm a rather broken one...
  • I GOT MY FAIR SHARE OF BEATENS AND I DONT THINK THEY HELPED SHAPE ME AS A PERSON ITS JUS A FORM OF PINISHMENT. I HAVE'NT FIGURED OUT IF I WILL HIT MY KIDS YET. ITS A GOOD TOPIC THOUGH..
  • Unfortunately I have been smacked before and I'm not sure whether that makes me a better adult or not considering the fact that I'm not quite an adult yet and I think it's horrible that parents today still feel they need to phisically hurt their children or harm them in order to make them better behaved.
  • Yes. Often, and usually with hands. And I cannot even think of one punishment that made me a better adult, not even one. It's just a part of my character, and has ruined my trust towards individuals of power above me.
  • I got spanked as a child with a razor strap, not as much as I should have because there were 12 kids(siblings) running around. At the time I hated them(spankings) and thought they were hateful,now as an older adult I see that everyone I got,I deserved. I never got hit anywhere but my buttocks,and my father would always wait until he was calm before you got what you deserved. For some good reason he always knew when he got his point across. After raising 12 kids they decided to adopt one(1 out of over 2 hundred kids they took care of for the state as an emergency house). Who do you think went bad, yes, the one who never tasted that razor strap, the adopted one. I can count the number of times I had to spank my kids on one hand and only if they did something that would hurt themselves or someone else. My wife laughs when she says how I would go into the bedroom and cry every time. My kids never knew (I hope not). Yes a spanking can mold character, if done wrong can break it. Kids now-a-days have no respect for anyone because they have no fear. How many parents out there have actually have a kid tell them "If you touch me I'll call 911", Don't say it never happened, because I've seen it. I would have told that kid "call them, but only after I've done what I have to do". My kids have told me they think I should have spank them a little more then what I did. I think the law should have sence enough to tell if a child is being abused or being raised by caring parents.
  • I was seldom spanked, but my mother tended to slap me and hit me about the head a lot. Also, there was frequent verbal criticism and verbal abuse in our household.
  • I watched my mother wash my younger brothers mouth out with soap when he swore. He was 8 or 9 at the time. I had my face smacked for swaring at that age I guess she turned to the soap instead of the face being smacked
  • Yes and Yes
  • When I was younger I got spanked for not coming home after school until dinner. I went to a friends house. My parents were worried and I got a spanking for that. When I was about 8 or 9 I was dropping Army men out the second flooor window with my younger brother when the screen fell out. After my dad but the screen back he spanked both of us right then and there. the last memorable spanking was for lring to them and ditching school at the age of 16. I got a spanking then. I know I got a few more but this is all I remember.
  • Yes we did, My dad used a poll climbing belt on us when we were at home, Or a thin belt he wore, Or a switch. If anything it has made me understand the differance between a proper spanking and being beat which is what we got.
  • Well, when I was 2-7 years old, I remember that my mother would spank me when I did something wrong. She did not beat me and rarely used implements other than a bare hand. To keep me in line, she told me stories of her father beating her when she was young. I was never seriously injured and it rarely hurt for more than an hour. It definitely taught me to stay out of trouble.
  • Yes. And no, it made me a bitter and very angry (especially at my parents and other authority figures) you adult. They did not make me anything but not want to have children for fear I would beat them as I was beaten.
  • Since this is a two part question I will answer it in two parts: 1. Yes 2.Hell no.
  • Yes, I did when I was young. My father was very abusive towards myself, sibblings and mother. I do not believe it made me a better adult however, I do believe that with this I became a stronger adult for living through it and dealing with it in the eventual divorce and split between my family. From watching my mother I know what to look for in a man and the signs that things are not as they should be. Spanking or punishing a child does not teach a child a lesson or whatever. I do believe in disapline but disapline does not require violence.

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